Date: December 28, 2011
Title: The End of a Saga: The Adventures of Professor Belstein
Podcaster: Dr. Pamela Gay
Organization: AstronomyCast & Astrosphere New Media Association
Links:www.astronomycast.com
www.astrosphere.org
Pamela’s Star Stryder blog: www.starstryder.com
Description: Part 3 of a three episode series on the adventures of Professor Belstein.
Bio: Pamela is constantly busy teaching classes and conducting research at Southern Illinois University of Edwardsville. Somehow, she still manages to find time to bring us wonderful podcasts such as this one and all of the AstronomyCasts. Check out the links above to see more about Pamela’s projects and endeavors.
Sponsors: This episode of “365 Days of Astronomy” is brought to you by NO ONE! Please help us sponsor days into the new year!
Transcript:
Hi Everyone, This is Pamela Gay of Astronomy Cast and the star stryder blog. Today for many of you, it is Wednesday of that awkward work week between Christmas and New Years, and for some of you academic types, this is a wonderful week of quiet for catching up on research while all the students are gone. I’ve been using my time to catch up on writing papers and editing a textbook, but in the middle of this work, I found time for a bit of levity. Today I’d like to present part 3 in the 3 episode adventures of Old Professor Belstein. You can find the prior 2 episodes on Dec 12 and Dec 24th.
Twas the week after Christmas, when all through the halls
Not a student was stirring, they gone out to the malls
The professors were all doing their research with care
In hopes that this time peer review would be fair.
The servers were whirring all snug on the cloud
While theorists muttered their equations out loud
With data in columns, I figured and plotted
Checking Every t’s crossed and every I dotted
When from the fax room there arose such a clatter
I sprang to my feet cursing what er was the matter
Away to the door I flew in a flash
Slamming it shut, my actions perhaps a bit rash
The noise on my ears on this once quiet morn
Told it was time for a break for popcorn
When, what on my microwave snack should appear
But a schematic sleigh, and eight handdrawn reindeer?
With a few quiet curses, so creative a quick
I knew in a moment who’d played me this trick
More rapid than eagles his Christmas fails came
I opened my door, and looking about I called him by name
Now, Belstein! Doctor Belstein, Each year at this time
The telescope, the servers, something new you undermine
From the top of the mountain, to this very popcorn
You treat everyones stuff with contempt and with scorn
As old papers that under the suns UV rays
When they meet with some handling, crumple away
As he rose out of his chair, and came tottering my way
I regretted my words, and wished in my office I’d stayed
He was dressed all in wool, from ankle to shoulder
And his cloths were nerd chic with their pocket pen holder
A bundle of printouts he held tight in his hand
And he was mighty annoyed about having to stand
His eyes-how they pierced! His forehead so crinkled!
His cheeks were flushed hot, His shirt was so wrinkled!
His droll little mouth was drawn into a frown
And the hair on his head limply hung down
He was chubby and plump, a right chunky old prof
Why oh why had I dared tick him off
The red of his eye and the twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had all things to dread.
He spoke just a phrase, before getting to work.
“I found him”, he said, then turned with a jerk.
And using a red sharpie he wrote on my door
A series of symbols no one had thought to explore
He want back to his chair, as I gave a low whistle
Santa’s sleigh flew on a neutrino-powered missile
Somehow faster than light, he flew faster than sight
Problem Solved, QED, and to all a good-night
Thanks for joining me on this strange adventure in astronomy and Santa powering particle physics. I wish you all the happiest New Years, and don’t forget, on January 5, while you Northern Hemisphere types settle into winter, the Earth passes closest to the Sun, so don’t forget to celebrate perihelion.
End of podcast:
365 Days of Astronomy
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