Date: December 24, 2011
Title: ‘Twas the Astronomer’s Sys Admin’s Night Before Christmas’
Podcaster: Dr. Pamela Gay
Organization: Astrosphere New Media Association
Link: www.astrosphere.org
Description: Pamela tells a tale about an evening of observation on a chilly Christmas eve.
Bio: Dr. Pamela L. Gay is a professor at Southern Illinois University Edwardsville. She is also one of the voices on the popular AstronomyCast podcast. Additionally, she created Astrosphere New Media Association, a nonprofit organization that promotes science through internet based technologies, in order to keep many of the IYA projects alive.
Sponsor: This episode of “365 Days of Astronomy” has also been brought to you by the Astronomical Society of the Pacific, a recognized leader in astronomy education. Get Go StarGaze, the iPhone app developed by the Astronomical Society of the Pacific for the NASA Night Sky Network. Find an astronomy event or a club in your area with Go StarGaze or at the Night Sky Network website.
Transcript:
‘Twas the night before Christmas, and clouds filled the sky
Not an object was twinkling, not even Iota Tri;
The telescope was parked in its dome with great care,
In hopes of spying a star on which it could stare;
My students were nested all snug in their beds
While visions of data danced in their heads
And I in my office, my Mac at my side,
Was Googling for gifts – no bargain could hide.
When on the network, there arose a great clatter,
I popped up an xterm to ping what´s the matter
Ping 74.208.25.93
CONNECTION FAILED was all it said back to me.
The lamp on the screen of the Mac Book Pro
Illuminated too many processes refusing to go.
When, on what should my wandering eyes obsess,
But a remote client, and eight shared processes!
With a little old driver, and each program taking its time,
I knew in a moment it again must be Dr. Belstein.
More rapid than Windows, his executions they came,
As he typed, and compiled, and called languages by name;
“Now, Java! Now, Python! Now, GNU C++!
On, Cobalt! On Pascal! On, Visual C++!
Make software to formulate where Santa shall go!
Now make away! make away! make away -o!”
As old puters not updated cease to fly,
My processor whirred and proceeded to die,
Up to the network panel, my fingers they flew,
As I typed IPCONFIG /Release and /Renew
And then, in a second, I heard from the hall
Some cursing and a keyboard tossed like a ball.
As I leaned my head out, and looked all around,
I heard from his office the most amazing of sounds.
He was dressed all in tweed, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were chalky and somehow dusted in soot!
A bundle of disks he had clutched in his teeth,
And he was a bit manic, as the sys admin he beseeched.
His eyes — how they twinkled! The promises he made!
For Beowulf access, bonuses would be paid!
His droll little mouth was drawn down like a bow,
And his chin quivered as if he stood in the snow;
The loop of a flash drive he held tight in his hand,
While his desktop sent death encircling the LAN;
He had a broad face and a little pot belly,
That shook, as he begged (like a bowlful of jelly).
He was tenured and sage, a right powerful prof,
No non-tenured faculty dared tick him off;
In the sys-admin, however, there was no dread,
The passwords were contained just one place: His Head!;
He spoke not a word, ignoring the old bloak,
To the Beowulf he gave not even a poke
He just proceeded to open the main system node,
And with a click, updates he began to upload
Belstein stomped to his desk, letting out a great sigh,
Another year lost, (I thought he might cry).
But I heard him state, as if he couldn´t care less,
“Next Christmas I´ll find Santa using GPS.”
Merry Christmas!
End of podcast:
365 Days of Astronomy
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