When I hacked a random computer in Russia, I stumbled upon some documents from the owner: comrade Igor Plotski, chief planner for the section ultra secret surprise weapons. It turns out that they had a foolproof plan to quickly overrun the USA using conventional weapons only. The initial first strike, right before the invasion, involved dropping the F-bomb, leaving at least half the population and military stunned, shocked, and in awe. The FCC has been notified in order to find ways to reduce this effect.
"Dumb all over, a little ugly on the side." -- Frank Zappa
"Your right to hold an opinion is not being contested. Your expectation that it be taken seriously is." -- Jason Thompson
"This is really very simple, but unfortunately it's very complicated." -- publius
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The secret formulas for Coca Cola and hot dogs are identical.
Soylent Cola is back on the market, because people love people.
Before the launch of Friendship 7, Alan Shepard is famously remembered for his quote "Why don't you just fix your little problem and light this candle?" What not many people know is that he wasn't referring to the Redstone rocket, but to an actual candle. Wernher von Braun was an early advocate of aroma therapy, and would light a scented candle just before each launch.
Neil Armstrong and Sheryl Crow make a great couple.
Napoleon actually said....
March is on it's stomach....
One swallow does not make ten thousand Donna Summers.
No really, I'll never know. No matter how long I live, no matter how hard I try, I will just never know what Armstrong and Crow would make a couple of.
As Shakespeare said, there are somethings Mort that are just not dreamt of in your sleepy time.
Tales of Genji failed to win Nobel Prize of Literature.
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Prime numbers are the numbers you first put up on a blackboard, to cover up the dark color. You can then put any color of number you like on there, without the blackboard showing through.
Applying the prime numbers is usually the task of graduate students in Mathematics.
Prime numbers are more well-marbled than Choice numbers. When cooked, prime numbers remain more tender and go down easier.
I would appreciate it if everyone here bought a copy of the new children's anthology Tsk! Tsk! Lutefisk! available from Lye Books. My contribution, When Lutefisk is Outlawed, Only the Outlaws Will Have Lutefisk, Thank God, is written in a Theodore Giesel style with overtones of Go, Dog, Go!
Where did you get this jellied blob?
I look at it and shut my gob
It's really quite good (the anthology, not the lutefisk), containing a reprint of Kipling's famous Just-So story How the Lutefisk Got Its Creepy Quiver.
Sorry you find the language caustic; I think it's at an appropriately basic level (9-11) for the intended audience. No litmus tests for my readers, though.
Isn't that biblical story about NaOH's ark in that collection?
I just LOVE jellied liver & peanut butter sandwiches. With some sloppy raisin-carrot salad on the side.
The Duchy of Fenwick's parliament has recalled the Duke, Duchess and her body guard from the Lunar station, to taste and judge Buttercup's favorite sandwich.
Issac Newton has 17 different pet dogs during his adult life; every one of them was named "Mister Winklestein".
Happiness is a peanut rattling around in a tennis ball.
And her outfit, I presume.
The opposite of outfit is infit.
I am working on a screenplay for a time-travel science fiction movie where a women goes back in time and becomes her own mother.