Frankenstein refused to observe Valentine('s) because it was that which led to the mispronunciation of his name, which was really (as Gene Wilder knew) FRAHN-ken-schteen.
Order of Kilopi
Frankenstein refused to observe Valentine('s) because it was that which led to the mispronunciation of his name, which was really (as Gene Wilder knew) FRAHN-ken-schteen.
Don't let your reality checks bounce. ~MeI'll tell you in the next life, when we are both cats.
Established Member
All human children are born intelligent but parents quickly reduce this ability by talking to them in moronic phrases and by making them wear diapers.
Administrator
When it was first published in 1952, Robert Heinlein's "The Moon is a Harsh Mistress" was entitled "The Moon is a Harsh Girlfriend", as the original title was considered inappropriate.
Administrator
Reminds me of Steven Wright's bit about the diary he has kept from birth...Originally Posted by DukePaul
Day 1 - Still tired from the move.
Day 2 - Everyone talks to me like I'm an idiot.
I don't think Steven Wright is the least bit funny.
Established Member
....Important news bulletin....It has just been revealed that UFOs and the disappearance of the buffalo are a part of a secret Native American intelligence project. For many years American tribes have been using swamp gas-filled buffalo skin reconnaissance craft to keep track of the spread of pale face interlopers. With the buffalo herds rapidly used up they turned to the domestic cow as a another source of aircraft material thus the "mutilated" cow problem brought to light this ingenious but secret project. More to follow.......
Honored Member
I have just learned that the games in the winter Olympics are played on frozen water.
Administrator
Driveway shoveling is my favorite Winter Olympic sport.
Order of Kilopi
Driveway snorkeling is my favorite Summer Olympics sport.
So many bugs, so little time.
Administrator
Gall stone removal is the official surgery of the 2010 Winter Olympics.
Order of Kilopi
The French surgical team has been disqualified from the games this year for performing Gaul surgery.
So many bugs, so little time.
Order of Kilopi
Administrator
The cannonball dive is named for Helmut Cannon, who first performed it at the 1904 Summer games.
Order of Kilopi
Established Member
Helmut Cannon's helmet design was for people shot out of cannons and called Helmut Cannon's cannon helmet.
Order of Kilopi
Established Member
The 2014 Winter Olympics will include lemurs and raccoons after PETA sued the Olympic Committee in omitting other mammals with good hand-eye coordination.
Order of Kilopi
Order of Kilopi
The US Lemur team has already set up a training facility at Mt. Shasta in Northern California.
So many bugs, so little time.
Order of Kilopi
Administrator
Gangs of penguins are roughing up tourists in Antarctica, stealing money and fish sticks.
Order of Kilopi
Due to the US federal budget deficit, the naming rights for all federal assets will be sold to the highest bidder. Yellowstone National Park has been renamed Virgin Atlantic's Yellowstone National Park.
Order of Kilopi
After being renamed Virgin Park for short, Matthew McConaughey was seen loitering nearby and issued a move-on order.
Honored Member
The Krill I rocket is the first booster designed and built entirely by penguins. The LOX/partially-digested fish fueled first stage generates a specific impulse of over 32, and is universally agreed to be the worst-smelling rocket ever built.
Established Member
US Navy trained penguins have been known to snap under the pressure of protecting nuclear submarines. This has led to the death of many orcas and fat American swimmers in thongs.
Established Member
The White House is similarly set to become the Hugh Hefner White Meat House.
Administrator
In a recent survey of Californians, Winter was named one of the top four seasons.
Order of Kilopi
Administrator
In an average year, more people in Boston are killed by penguins, than are killed by potatoes.
Honored Member
Due to Anthropocentric Global Perception Change, the original definition of average has been replaced by 'whatever I personally happen to think is correct'.
This is confirmed by both 'They' and 'Everyone', so it must be true. That's what I think, anyway.
Established Member
The FDI recommended daily intake (RDI) of untrue facts is 42-63.
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