I really wish that I didn't have the OCD need to finish reading a thread before moving on.
How does an elephant get out of a tree? - Stands in a leaf and waits for winter.
An elephant and a mouse were playing soccer against each other, they were good friends. The elephant in a heated exchange accidentally steps on the mouse crushing him a foot below the ground. The elephant is apoplectic, sobbing and apologizing to his friend. The mouse, struggles to his feet, dusts himself off and says to his friend "Don't worry it could have happened to either of us."
The same elephant and mouse go to the beach. The elephant decides to take a swim, but after a while he notices the mouse on the beach waving his arms wildly, frantically almost. The elephant rushes to the beach and asks "Whats wrong are you okay?" The mouse inspects the elephant and says "oh, I'm sorry, I thought for a moment that we had mixed up our swimsuits."