Inspired by the "Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts" list, I made this up during a very boring car ride in the middle of the night to visit relatives for Christmas.

In the 1960s, the great ambition of almost every space nerd was to get a job working in the Apollo program. But many applicants made common mistakes and lost out on their dream job. Imagine how successful they could have been, had they only read this list!

Ten Things I Am Not Allowed To Do In The Apollo Program:
10) “Kennedy wants us to go WHERE? No, seriously.” is not an appropriate reaction.
9) I will not quibble with my boss over if “the decade is out” in 1970 or 1971.
8) I will not send Spider-Man comics to Administrator Webb, as he is very tired of the joke.
7) When told I am to ride a Saturn rocket, I will not ask “Like the car?”
6) “When do we get the Tang?” is not an appropriate question to ask during astronaut training.
5) I will not ask the CapCom to play Beatles records over the comm channel. Not even if the album has just come out.
4) The white room guys work very hard to strap me in. Screaming “OW! AHHH! Not so tight!” will not be appreciated by them.
3) When the Earth appears small enough to cover with a thumb, I will not suddenly start singing “I’ve got the whole world, in my hands…”
2) When the carrier picks me up, it is not a good idea to start singing “I’m On A Boat”.
1) When the president comes to meet me in quarantine, I will not ask “Why didn’t you burn the tapes?!?!” no matter how much I will want to.