Order of Kilopi
The Wall Street wizards have all turned Harry Potter fanboi...
Ferrets are making their own life-sized versions of Mouse Trap...
Madonna, single again, has hired Alan Colmes' dietitian and makeup team and is looking fabulous...
Mad Magazine foretold of this coming cataclysm. I just wish we'd taken it seriously.
Honored Member
I understand banning, but where do the moderators suspend posters? How high off the ground are they suspended?
Order of Kilopi
Where? Nobody really knows, but some say it's at the Mile High Ferret Club: Ferret Health Fair. (apparently it really exists - note towards the end of the page, there's mention of Ferret Evacuation Kits. The mind boggles.)
How high? Knee-high to a ferret.
Administrator
It relates to the number of points they have received, the greater the number of points, they higher we hang them. The exact relationship is a secret, but our units of height are FL (ferret lengths). The international ferret length standard is a "golden" ferret named Marty (well, I think he's more of a copper color, but we are splitting hares) - he is kept in a special chamber in Copenhagen. I believe NIST has a secondary ferret standard named Burt.Originally Posted by mike alexander
Order of Kilopi
Hey, is that taking into account special relativity? Because if it's not, then you are giving only a partial answer and that's unfair and misleading and may lead to splitting ferret hairs. Or threads, even.
So many bugs, so little time.
Order of Kilopi
Careful. Ferrets, particularly the disco ones, are very touchy about people messing with their threads.
Administrator
I have a special relative who takes care of my accounting, my "uncle" Vince - is that good enough? Actually, it better be, or he and the boys will come by and split your threads.
Honored Member
I had an Uncle Aunt. His full name was Antoine, but we just called him Uncle Aunt to learn new obscenities.
Order of Kilopi
What nutters have tried to hang ferrets?
They will nibble through the rope while
you try and find a neck.
Vuvuselas are much more effective at
making the critters scatter.
Honored Member
I once showed my vuvuselas to a group of ferrets and they immediately ran away. Immediately after that the police arrested me and made me close my overcoat.
Administrator
Caracas is the capital of Vuvuselas.
Oh, no wait, sorry, that's wrong. Vuvuselas was that volcano in ancient Rome.
Order of Kilopi
I thought that a vuvusela was that funny thing that hangs from the back of the thoat...er, make that throat.
So many bugs, so little time.
Order of Kilopi
It's too late, you said thoat and that's what I carved.
Oh, I always carve sculptures based on your posts. I guess it's time that the truth is known.
Administrator
If you posts photos of those sculptures in the Share Your Art thread, and ABR. comments on them, and you create a sculpture based on his comments, and then he comments about your comments sculptures, and ... would the causality loop destroy the Universe? I hope so.
Order of Kilopi
Ah, the ol' Bruce Lee house of mirrors trick eh? It'd shortly turn into Colbert's portrait painting.
Order of Kilopi
I am Stephen Colbert. Oh, wait. Wrong thread. Surely there's a ferret to blame here.
So many bugs, so little time.
Honored Member
No, I am Tony Curtis!
Order of Kilopi
I suppose I had better come clean lest I
am accused of misleading vast numbers of
people. I do not know how it happened...
well I suppose I do, not checking but
we type off the top of our heads here
do we not. Its our occupational hazard
I guess. It is vuvuzela with a z and
not an s.
Oh the shame of it...
Established Member
I've been out for awhile ferret hunting in my knitted loin cloth; have I missed much?
Administrator
First, the Earth cooled.
Order of Kilopi
Later, in the late devouring period....
Order of Kilopi
...there were croissants. By the end of the devouring period they were gone, but for a few crumbs.
Administrator
I thought the saber-toothed ferret drove the croissants to extinction during the last ice-box age.
Order of Kilopi
Oh, yes, that's right. I sit corrected. But then those were driven to extinction by thirsty Cavonauts in the days before ring-pulls on beer cans.
Order of Kilopi
Alas, they didn't have "Black Swan" to slack their thirst. alas and alack.
Order of Kilopi
Ah, the saber-toothed ferret (genus Smirkodon) -- I have a skull reproduction sitting on my desk. It's next to a reproduction of a Dire Wolf Blitzer skull.
So many bugs, so little time.
Order of Kilopi
I just trapped me a wild Alan Colmes on the weekend. Looking a bit gaunt, so I put out a saucer of milk and some polony. It hasn't come back yet...
Administrator
I suppose such a creature would report only dire news.
Order of Kilopi
I think that would depend on the situation, don't you?
I suppose such a creature would report only dire news.
So many bugs, so little time.
Honored Member
Verretwagen recommends rotating your dires every five thousand miles or two ice ages, whichever comes first.
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