Ferret massage is illegal in California. Obtainable, but illegal.
Order of Kilopi
Ferret massage is illegal in California. Obtainable, but illegal.
So many bugs, so little time.
Order of Kilopi
Is that massage performed by ferrets, or on ferrets?
I wish I knew all those years ago that simply joining this board and proclaiming myself to be rational would magically transform my uninformed opinions into science; it would have saved me a lot of time and effort.
Order of Kilopi
Actually, since owning or possessing ferrets is illegal in California, either way.
So many bugs, so little time.
Order of Kilopi
OK, but that only covers the case of domestic ferrets.
I wish I knew all those years ago that simply joining this board and proclaiming myself to be rational would magically transform my uninformed opinions into science; it would have saved me a lot of time and effort.
Order of Kilopi
Rural ferrets work the fields, plowing and tilling.
Bio-enhanced jockeys are now performing ferret dressage for the stunned populace.
Order of Kilopi
Ferrets have come a long way.
I wish I knew all those years ago that simply joining this board and proclaiming myself to be rational would magically transform my uninformed opinions into science; it would have saved me a lot of time and effort.
Order of Kilopi
Domesticated ferrets, while able to live a life in relative luxury, must bear the burden of lousy names. The top two pet ferret names are "Ferret Fawcett Majors" and "Wil Ferret".
So many bugs, so little time.
Order of Kilopi
Do they take out revenge on the carpet from time to time?
I wish I knew all those years ago that simply joining this board and proclaiming myself to be rational would magically transform my uninformed opinions into science; it would have saved me a lot of time and effort.
Order of Kilopi
Wil Ferret is responsible for damaged carpet the world over.
Order of Kilopi
Fitted carpets are for people. Mud and dirt
are for ferrets. Thats the way it has always
been. Cruel OK but nature has its reasons.
And will you guys stop sneaking in the
middle of the night to get past the top
of a new page! I'd been waiting two days
for it.
Honored Member
Marshall McLuttra wrote the highly influential "The Ferret is the Massage".
Established Member
Which was surprising, because some claim he was really writing about the mass of iron in a paperweight, but mixed up languages, and added letters where they don't belong.
Then again, if 1000 ferrets at keyboards . . . .
Order of Kilopi
1000 ferrets working on 1000 keyboards can be expected to produce the name e.e. cummings in 1000 years...unless one of them accidentally hits the caps lock.
So many bugs, so little time.
Order of Kilopi
Ferrets have taken over this thread. I sense a conspiracy.
I wish I knew all those years ago that simply joining this board and proclaiming myself to be rational would magically transform my uninformed opinions into science; it would have saved me a lot of time and effort.
Order of Kilopi
I blame those from the Conferretdate re-enacters society.
Established Member
Who'd have a date with a con-ferret, let alone re-enact one? That's just sick.
Order of Kilopi
Like mud-cake sugar overdose sick, or sick like Jack Nicholson.
Administrator
I didn't know Jack was sick. Hope its not serious. Maybe we should send a care... or a ferret.Originally Posted by Spoons
Order of Kilopi
No. When Jack Nicholson gets sick, you call him up at 4am and let him yell at you and threaten you with bodily harm. It actually makes him feel good. It's when Rudy Giuliani gets sick that you send a ferret.
Note to the ASPCA: The above was a joke, i.e., humor. I would NEVER send a ferret to Mr. Giuliani -- I like ferrets too much to do such despicable thing.
So many bugs, so little time.
Administrator
Which of course lead to Winston Churchill saying "We having nothing to ferret, but ferret itselt"
Order of Kilopi
Before truths became self-evident, i.e., easy for anyone to find, domesticated ferrets were employed to search underground for them, hence the phrase, "ferret out the truth".
So many bugs, so little time.
Administrator
I thought it was self-evident that all ferrets were greated equal.
Honored Member
I thought Rudi Giuliani WAS a ferret. Live and learn.
(Note that to avoid politics I referred to Rudi Giuliani, my next-door neighbor, not Rudy Guiliani, the former mayor of New York and professional ferret impersonator. Mr. Guiliani is NOT a ferret, although his impersonations are so uncanny that he has been made an honorary mustelid)
Administrator
Mustelids were supposed to star in the original Grey Poupon commercial.
Order of Kilopi
The Captain and Tennille have recorded a new single entitled "Ferret Friendship".
So many bugs, so little time.
Honored Member
The original title was "Ferrets Can Keep Us Together", but they were sued by their earlier incarnations for copyright violations.
Ferrets are now available in six-packs. Regular or decaffienated.
Administrator
I believe the other term for a decaffienated ferret is "dead".
Honored Member
Only if you use the Swiss Water Process. The traditional method, licking the ferret until it no longer tastes of caffeine, does not harm the animal, although you may lose your lips in the endeavour.
A small price to pay for caffeine-free ferret, I say.
"He's no good to me dead."
-Boba Ferret
Order of Kilopi
I hear Warren Beatty has been cast in the starring role for the upcoming Deep Ferret 9: First Contact.
Honored Member
This film will introduce the Ferretghi, a race of rapacious, razor-toothed entrepreneurs.
To save money the film will be set on Wall Street, where plenty of extras are available.
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote