Tomorrow's Crackpots Today!

[tashirosgt]

Crackpots always claim that their ideas aren't covered by the mainstream media. I don't know if the BAUT forum counts as mainstream media, but wouldn't it be neat if some crackpot of the future proposed an idea and someone could say. "Oh, that's not news. I read about it on the BAUT forum ten years ago. It's old hat." ?

So let's see how well the skeptics on BAUT can predict the crackpot ideas of the future. Propose a new crackpot theory. Give at least a headline and sub-headlines. Let's start with something RCH-reasonable like:


NASA IS BUILDING SECRET TUNNEL TO MARS!

Tethered Satellite Pair Warps Space-Time.

Objects Put In Deep Well in Texas Pass Through Center Of Earth And Emerge Near Red Planet.

[slang]

NASA IS BUILDING SECRET TUNNEL TO MARS!

Oh, that's not news. I read abaut it on the BAUT forum abaut 7 weeks ago. It's old hat.

"PROTESTERS DEMAND EQUAL ACCESS TO SPACE"

[dwnielsen]

Tesla Discovered Method for Transporting Humans Through Air and Space on Electromagnetic Waves; Idea Stolen by Edison, Ford, and Hughes

[DukePaul]

Dell plans to start selling its computers at restaurants and joins forces with Taco Bell to become Taco Dell.

[dwnielsen]

Dell plans to start selling its computers at restaurants and joins forces with Taco Bell to become Taco Dell.

Frightening, I can see it now, although I more imagine a sort of Taco Dell cybercafé with fingerprints in sauce, beans, and pseudocheese all over the monitors (to match those on the burritos). Blech.

[DukePaul]

The new US nuclear proliferation policy was revealed today. Called the Lollipop Directive, each and all non-nuclear countries will be given a small nuke in bright colors of blue, red, lime or yellow.

[DukePaul]

The bleak economic predictions influenced the Disney Corporation decision to buy the country of Iceland and move all its operations there. A spokesperson for Disney revealed plans for exploiting the volcanoes for power and building all rides and structures out of ice. The only sad note is that the Icelandic government demands that Mickey Mouse be replaced by a cod fish.

[mike alexander]

headless body found on mars

[mike alexander]

Earth Collapses into LHC Black Hole

[dwnielsen]

Bodyless Head Discovered on Phobos

[DukePaul]

"long forgotten Earth nemesis Acid Rain came out of retirement today to start a new road tour. Once the darling of eco-disasters now just a footnote, AR touts "I was kicking climate change butt long before those other guys!"

[DonM435]

Those sound just like the headlines that I see on The National Perspirer and those other tabloids in the supermarket line.

[dwnielsen]

New Evidence Shows Neil Armstrong Actually Uttered the Phrase, "That's One Small Step for - Man! I Just Stepped in a Huge Pile of Headless Body! - Uh, One Giant Leap for Mankind"

[DukePaul]

Giant Worm Farms built in Texas Today, CEO of Arrakis Wormworks, Paul Atreides announced that America would once again claim world leadership in worm farms. "Clearly the American public want a bigger more robust worm that outsourced foreign suppliers can not provide!"

[sohh_fly]

Crashed UFO found at Roswell
That's not news..okay it is even if it's a story thats been told for 60 years.

[dwnielsen]

China Pollutes the Moon

[dwnielsen]

Bubbles Buried In Moon's Crater Michael Jackson

[sohh_fly]

They're here,they're here...oh never mind they're gone.

Well they were here a second ago.
Tell me about it Sherlock.

[sohh_fly]

Bubbles Buried In Moon's Crater Michael Jackson

Ricky and Julian there too?

[mike alexander]

Photons Have Mass, But Just Ingore It


Tired Light Revived with Gatorade


Aliens Project 'Universe' on Giant Screen Surrounding Earth

[slang]

Conspiracy uncovered, Sirius found to be less than 1 light year away!

[dwnielsen]

Pioneer Plaque Returned to Earth With Message, "You Call That Art? Happy 2012, Earthlings"

[DukePaul]

NASA scales back space program With the ending of the Space Shuttle program and a Mars landing too ambitious, NASA decided that a manned mission to Winnipeg Canada the best choice for a landing site. Nasa promises to follow the Prime Directive and allow no interference to the natural development of the proposed site's natives.

[dwnielsen]

Seven NASA Terranauts Return Home Friday due to Canadian Gas Price Increase

[mike alexander]

NASA Examining Possible Probe to Saskatoon
Cancellation of Winnipeg Program Leaves Kalispell, Coeur d'Alene as Possibilities

[tashirosgt]

STANDARD AUDIO CODECS FOUND TO STORE SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES !

EVPs may be side effect of insidious mind control project

All digitally controlled devices programmed to murmur

Your refrigerator may be whispering to you!

Based on fifteenth century code invented by Leonardo Da Vinci

Toolmark of The Illuminatti

[slang]

Ares launch cancelled 60 seconds before liftoff after tarot reader issues "NO GO" in launch sequence.

[DukePaul]

Carbon places its footprint in cement at Grauman's Chinese Theatre today in Hollywood Long time media darling Carbon was honored today and put its footprint next to Pee-wee Herman.

[dwnielsen]

NASA Cancels Myrtle Beach Send-Off Because Terranaut Jim Creeley has Summer School

45% of US Now Believe Trip to Seattle Space Needle was Staged

[KaiYeves]

Insidious Plot By Librarians to Murder President.