Dumbing down for social situations.

[Polyrealastic Observer]

I hope others here can relate to this. There you are at the bar, or a party, whatever, and you're prattling on about the fine structure constant, or some such techno-babble, and then it hits you. "Oh goodness," if you're trying to watch your normal potty-mouth, "I've gone and done it again. I've launched into some pompuos geek lecture!" You wrap up the comment as quickly as you can, but it's too late. Does this happen to you? Is there a link to a list somewhere listing "over their head" topics Maybe you've got a funny story. I'd love to hear and learn. So damn awkward at times!!!

[Amber Robot]

Well, I always keep in mind that I've never been to a good party that didn't have at least one astrophysicist there.

[tashirosgt]

If you do things like that, people forgive you because they think you don't know any better.

[Gillianren]

I don't dumb down. Blessedly, among my friends, I don't have to.

[danscope]

Yes, Extraordinary technical discussions are a no-win situation. At least at parties. Keep it light. Keep it bright, and let others have their last word.
If you win, you lose.
Technical conversations are a boat that only a few can get on. So....
don't.... you know... don't. It's just easier.
Best regards,
Dan

[Ara Pacis]

I used to be a field rep for a product that required technical expertise but also the ability to train neophytes in the particulars. Maybe that doesn't qualify as a "social" situation, but I quickly learned how not to dumb-down but to explain and teach instead. Now, when I meet new people (as opposed to the same circle of friends, though sometimes them as well), I don't worry about it. If I get on a topic that is over their heads, I explain it and then I go up in their estimation for not only knowing something but by not being geeky or elitist about it and giving them the ability to know something new too (in case they want to appear smart to someone else, or geeky or elitist).

[Jens]

If you're talking to children, then "dumbing down" is definitely necessary. But with fellow adults, I don't think it's so much "dumbing down" as not being overly presumptuous about what other people are interested in. Talking about astronomy might be great fun for us, but what if a person suddenly starts lecturing me about something I care little about, say the latest riffs in slash metal guitar playing or medical problems of their cocker spaniel, or the finesses of doing free throws in basketball. I would certainly hope for them to "dumb down" as well.

[Russell Burrows]

Yeah.
I try to act dumb or let others talk but sometimes I forget.......whiskey..sigh. and next thing I know we have a talk about temporal gradients close to a black hole but I can backpedal saying thats all I remember from a science fiction story I read.

I tell folks I run a small business but that if I had a career choice twenty years ago my choice is doing breast implants for women since that sounds like a cool job.

Everyone smiles and then someone goes yeah dude that sounds like a real good choice for my son that wants to be a Doctor.

[01101001]

When I find myself in a group of smart people, I can quickly bring them down to my level.

No problem.

[Perikles]

I don't dumb down. Blessedly, among my friends, I don't have to.

You are indeed fortunate. I have only a few friends and they are all experts in some field where I can interrogate them, forcing them to dumb down for me. That is much easier.

[jokergirl]

I would agree that it's not so much dumbing down as it is to reduce your technical vocabulary and not assume that people want to hear things in detail. If you can explain a thing quickly in simple terms, by all means do it. If you would have to launch into a monologue in order to do so... you know, don't.

[tnjrp]

I'm lucky to have friends (few as they are) who are, by and large, smarter and more knowledgeable than me -- or at the very least on an equal footing -- so I don't have to dumb down a lot. I suppose it might become a problem if I was way smarter than I am.

[geonuc]

Not a problem - I don't get invited to parties. Thankfully.

[Doodler]

Made this mistake a few times. I've learned its better to turn off the higher brain function and stick with my back up hobby of Comparative Mammary Analysis in Highly Intoxicated States when presented with situations like this.

[tnjrp]

I'm more into observing the curvature of gluteus maximus, myself...

[Argos]

When in Rome I do as the Romans. There are really few people I can talk about science, so I swim with the current on most occasions [fortunately, Iīve got a vast babbling repertoire].

[mfumbesi]

I do this a lot.
The other day a colleague started talking about black-holes and eventually the sun, amongst his babbling he said the sun is billions of miles away and the same size as the moon (probably from seeing solar eclipse and the likes). I wanted to keep quite, but I bust out and before I knew it, I was drawing pictures on the board and talking about New Horizons and Pluto. There were a few seconds of awkwardness, then I promptly talked about sport.

[hhEb09'1]

I avoid talking about spherical harmonics in social situations. My daughter hates it.

[KaiYeves]

I think I'm fairly good at the teaching and explaining parts, both with archeology and astronomy.

[Tobin Dax]

There were a few seconds of awkwardness, then I promptly talked about sport.

One of my problems is that I don't care about sports. With the right crowd, I can do just fine in social situations. With anybody who isn't interested in most topics that could be found on BAUT, I do my best. That's basically trying to participate in the conversation when I can. I went to a barbecue a few weeks ago, and I'm kind of glad that I could only stay for about 90 minutes. I was plenty frustrated with myself, too, but the sci-fi movie night cured that.

[Perikles]

One of my problems is that I don't care about sports. With the right crowd, I can do just fine in social situations. With anybody who isn't interested in most topics that could be found on BAUT, I do my best.

It is great to hear of people with the same problems. I used to hate going to have my hair cut because I could not cope with the well-meant but infuriating habit barbers have of asking you about your favourite football team, which is meaningless for me. Now I just shave my head myself and talk to myself about something interesting. Social situations where there is a female group talking about soft furnishings and a male group talking about cars or football just make me actually feel depressed, so I drown myself in alcohol, regretting it afterwards.

[Polyrealastic Observer]

Gosh- I wish I could have all you people around me at parties, and the pub, and work, etc. I just don't do well with the "who's doing who in Hollywood" type conversations I hear around me most of the time. I'm glad to have you here, so my brain cells don't atrophy. The other night I was at the bar, making time with a cute chick, and she said, "Oh my god, did you hear about that woman that missed the Airbus flight and then died like a week later? That's Soooo Final Destination!" Not an unreasonable observation, I'd noticed the same thing, but it sounded like the three hundred identical twitter posts I'd read. I mentioned that I was interested to know how many others, if anyone else, stepped forward to say they missed the flight, and were they alive and well. I burst her bubble with logic. Here she was all enthralled with possibly discovering a hidden truth about the universe, and I was a going-home-alone buzzwrecker. Later I thought, I should have just said, "That is Soooo creepy. I hope no one else gets killed." Live and learn. Thanks for the responses to my first thread. I feel a part OF here, instead of apart from.

[Perikles]

The other night I was at the bar, making time with a cute chick, and she said, "Oh my god, did you hear about that woman that missed the Airbus flight and then died like a week later? That's Soooo Final Destination!" Not an unreasonable observation, I'd noticed the same thing, but it sounded like the three hundred identical twitter posts I'd read. I mentioned that I was interested to know how many others, if anyone else, stepped forward to say they missed the flight, and were they alive and well. I burst her bubble with logic.

Unfortunately, logic is as unsexy as it gets. I have replied to the same conversation with the remark that the woman's husband is still alive and well, and that her untimely death is a good example of the misuse of data by conscious selection of the interesting data, ignoring the rest. That goes down like a lead balloon.

The reaction is the same as telling a girl what you really think about astrology, and the mentality of anybody who takes it seriously. I get the impression that this excludes any form of relationship with about 99% of the female sex, but maybe I'm wrong .....

[Buttercup]

The only time I "dumb down" is if in the company of lesser-educated folks in this area, if they are of a different ethnicity. I don't want to be mistaken for being a snoot because of my race, or that I'm trying indirectly to cop a superior attitude. Misunderstandings and resulting resentment can happen at the drop of a hat; I had one lady scold and berate me in front of other people for thinking I knew where Mars was in the night-time sky (evening barbecue). She was definitely hostile that I might actually know that. So, like anything, it depends on the situation.

[Gillianren]

The reaction is the same as telling a girl what you really think about astrology, and the mentality of anybody who takes it seriously. I get the impression that this excludes any form of relationship with about 99% of the female sex, but maybe I'm wrong .....

You're wrong.

The only time I "dumb down" is if in the company of lesser-educated folks in this area, if they are of a different ethnicity. I don't want to be mistaken for being a snoot because of my race, or that I'm trying indirectly to cop a superior attitude. Misunderstandings and resulting resentment can happen at the drop of a hat; I had one lady scold and berate me in front of other people for thinking I knew where Mars was in the night-time sky (evening barbecue). She was definitely hostile that I might actually know that. So, like anything, it depends on the situation.

"Snooty" is not the word I'd use. It's not the ethnicity that's your problem.

[Argos]

Itīs happened many times in my life: Iīm at a party talking about the wonders of astronomy, supernovas, black holes, spacetime warps, and the interlocutor responds with incredulity, as if you were some kind of freak...Then they try to enter the game, diplaying their own beliefs and wrong concepts, mixing astrology with astronomy, talking about energy channeling, FTL, etc, etc, which prompts you to try to correct them...Thatīs the recipe for disaster.

Better forget it all and talk about TV. Iīve given up.

[Perikles]

You're wrong.

Then I guess I have been really unlucky with the people I have met over the past half century. Ah well.

[Perikles]

.Then they try to enter the game, diplaying their own beliefs and wrong concepts, mixing astrology with astronomy, talking about energy channeling, FTL, etc, etc, which prompts you to try to correct them...Thatīs the recipe for disaster.

Better forget it all and talk about TV. Iīve given up.

Exactly my experience. Theoretically, conversation should reduce the distance between people, which is a pleasant experience. So often, though, it just highlights the gulf, and is depressing. The trouble is, I don't have TV to talk about.

[Gillianren]

I was once talking to someone I know who was going on and on and on about so-and-so's sign, which means such-and-such, until I finally interrupted and basically told her the whole thing was full of poo. She said, "I know. Impels, not compels." And I explained the science, and she said, "Oh." She has never discussed the subject with me again. I may not have convinced her, but at least I shut her up.

[Perikles]

And I explained the science, and she said, "Oh." She has never discussed the subject with me again. I may not have convinced her, but at least I shut her up.

I have spent my life arguing with astrologers - you can shut them up with a scientific argument, but I don't think I have ever persuaded any of them to stop believing in it - people tend to believe what they want to believe, and inconvenient facts are usually ignored.