Punctuality

[Gillianren]

Okay, I need a brief rant, here.

I was supposed to be keeping a friend company while she cleaned this evening; this is a service I render quite frequently among my friends. I cannot, generally, help with much (cleaning involves so much stretching and bending over!), but I can be company. However, my friend got called away to take a bunch of other gamers to a LARP they're involved with. She lives a known distance, both in time and miles, from their apartment. I ended up hanging out with her as she waited a good ten minutes for them to be ready. This happens all the time.

Now, I was raised to value other people's time as well as my own, and I'm usually waiting outside when my friend comes to pick me up. When I'm not, I'm generally avoiding either heat or cold, and all I have to do in order to be ready is slip on my shoes. This is generally true even if she calls and says, "Okay, I'm running errands and I'll be there in five minutes." (We tend to make plans for "after I'm done with errands for my mother-in-law.") I'm very careful about this.

Is this just me? Am I right to be annoyed when the guys take an hour to get ready, even knowing they're being picked up in forty minutes?

[Neverfly]

It's not just you.
One of my chief complaints is not only procrastination- but also when people Change the plan on you.
THAT one drives me nuts.

So say the plan is that I am supposed to pick up a friend at the ball park.

And when I get there, I cannot find him. Only to learn later that he decided to catch a ride with another friend who happened to be at the ball park too.

So here I was wasting my time and my fuel driving out there for nothing.
Drives me batty when people do that and I know a few who are terrible about it. Always changing the plan.

[cjl]

I'm almost never ready early, but people never wait more than a minute or two at most for me either. I would say that a ten or more minute wait is definitely adequate cause for being upset. I know it drives me nuts.

[Tog]

Sadly, I'm one of the 10+ minute late people. The problem is, I'm not really even sure why. I'm often between 10 and 30 minutes late to work. Tonight, for example, I had my shoes on, and my stuff packed by 10:30. It still took me 20 minutes to make it out the door and to the car.

Now. I do plan on this, so if I have to meet someone at 7, I'll tell them that it will be closer to 7:20, but I really have it timed to get there at 7:15. In my head, I'm shooting for 7:00 though, I just know I won't make it. I always make my estimates later than I'll really be, for just the reasons explained. I'd rather be told something will be 30 minutes late and have it start 20 minutes, than to be told it will be 10 minutes late and have it start in 20 minutes. As long as I get a reasonable notice, I'm fine.

If someone is coming by to pick me up, I'll be ready long before they get to me.

Actually, I think it ties in with the same reason you can't get decent service at a restaurant or bar where they know you. It's okay to be late because it's "just Tog, and he knows I'm always behind". Or "Hey, Tog. Let me just grab this other order, and I'll be back to get yours", followed by a 30 minute wait because having acknowledged me, I'm off the "to do list" until I'm noticed again.

I'd guess that they weren't ready on time because they knew the person who was picking them up. You were just an innocent bystander in the thing.

[Frog march]

I have read that people who don't like to be rushed were often premature babies, or induced; and they hate to be rushed. they want to stay in the nice cosy womb as long as they can.

[Frog march]

also, I read that people who were late term babies, don't like to be kept waiting.

So it would be sort of funny if a late termer were giving a lift to a premature---er..

well, it must happen all the time.

[PraedSt]

Yeah, I hate it when people are late. Back in the days before the cellphone, I used to wait 15mins....if they hadn't shown up by then, I'd leave.
That's a bit harder to do these days..

[Larry Jacks]

My father taught me that "15 minutes early is on time." That served me well in the military and continues to this day.

My wife is a Filipina and she warned me about "Filipino Time", which is usually the scheduled time plus 15 minutes to 2 hours. She's normally punctual but many of her friends aren't. It's very annoying.

[Swift]

Yes, you are right to be annoyed. We have some "friends" who are chronically late. If you invite them for a 4 p.m. barbecue, you'll lucky if they show up at 5. And it works both ways - we been invited to parties at their house, with say a 5 p.m. start. We'll show up at around 5, and one of them is probably still in the shower, and they are just starting to get things set up for their party (and so we get dragged into helping to get them organized). After years of this, we have stopped inviting them to things.

[mahesh]

being a 'five minutes early' kind of guy, i am forever waiting, socially speaking....i've heard Job, being mentioned....but it does drive me nuts. it do.

at the end of the day, i'm glad though that the rendezvous did / does happen, eventually!

Gillian, you are right to be annoyed. just a little bit though. the rest just dissipates into laughter and fun.

[Moose]

I plan to arrive somewhere on time, erring on the slightly early.

[Click Ticker]

I used to be ready early and time my departure for a more reasonable arrival time. It can be just as rude to show up well before your host is ready as it is to be late. Three kids later, and I'm not quite as punctual as before, but the effort is there. I'm on time, just not comfortably so.

We have one person at the office who is always the last one to a meeting. Typically shows up five minutes after we were supposed to start. It seems that some people feel that if they are late, it will demonstrate to everyone that they are important and working on something that they just can't break away from. Or socially, they feel that if they are on time, it will look as though they had nothing else going on.

[Doodler]

Is this just me? Am I right to be annoyed when the guys take an hour to get ready, even knowing they're being picked up in forty minutes?

You're right to be annoyed.

[Donnie B.]

Slightly off-topic, but I was guilty of one of my own pet peeves the other day. I asked for a call-back, but then missed that return call when it came in.

What made it worse was that the call I requested was from my doctor. Now, unlike some MDs, my doctor is extremely good about scheduling and calling back when asked. You can get an appointment withing a day or two if you need to, and you can go to an appointment and actually get seen at the scheduled time.

All of which makes me feel pretty bad about missing his callback. I even had my phone in my pocket, but I was in a noisy environment and didn't hear it ring (and didn't have it on vibrate). And I know how it feels to return a call and have the other person fail to answer -- phone tag, anyone?

[Argos]

I praise punctuality and always arrive on time [sometimes I can arrive some minutes early]. It´s rare down here. My fellow contrymen have the distasteful habit of arriving late on every meeting. It always get me furious [I just can´t adapt to the national attitude, and follow being the fool to arrive early]

[Fazor]

I'm not the King of Punctuality by any means. But if I'm late it's by 5 minutes or so...anything more than that I'll call and say "hey, I'm running late".

My g/f on the other hand, thinks "time I need to start getting ready" and "time I need to leave the house" are the same thing. So now, more often than not, I'm late but because of her. And it drives me nuts.

[Torsten]

You have a right to be annoyed, Gillian. They're wasting your time.

[Swift]

We have one person at the office who is always the last one to a meeting. Typically shows up five minutes after we were supposed to start. It seems that some people feel that if they are late, it will demonstrate to everyone that they are important and working on something that they just can't break away from. Or socially, they feel that if they are on time, it will look as though they had nothing else going on.

That's why the first rule of meeting facilitation is to start meetings on time. Waiting for the late arrivals rewards those who are late and punishes those who are on time.

Unfortunately, in the real world, the people who are the worst offenders of the kind of behavior you describe are almost always the bosses, and the higher up the org chart, the worse they are.

[HenrikOlsen]

And it works both ways - we been invited to parties at their house, with say a 5 p.m. start. We'll show up at around 5, and one of them is probably still in the shower, and they are just starting to get things set up for their party (and so we get dragged into helping to get them organized).

At our place there are normally two announced times for parties, the first for people who feel like helping, the later for people who just come for the party.

I guess the guests think that when they know in advance what to expect and it's by choice, it's actually more fun to come early and help set things up, so the majority come early.

[farmerjumperdon]

I'm big on commitment. Be true to your word, or don't bother giving it to me.

If you are dead, dying, or so ill or injured you can't move, or have a death in the immediate family - you are excused. Everything else is a sign the person is an inconsiderate slob.

[Gillianren]

Now, I don't mind when game takes an hour or so to get going; we all know it's going to, because we're going to sit around talking. However, when I get told a certain time, that's when I show up, often to their consternation. There are three of us who are generally punctual, and we have spend most of the last day complaining to one another; I think we've reached the point where we need to.

My grandfather was compulsively punctual as well, to the extent of making me look tardy. He once yelled at me for being late--because his watch was set five minutes ahead and I was on time. It was really irritating, actually, which is one of the reasons I haven't complained to the boys. The other reason is that it won't do any good.

[closetgeek]

I don't really get that annoyed when people make me wait but I also can't be on time, regardless of how hard I try. Usually when people come to my house I am still setting up a cheese tray or making a salad. I can't help it, I have zero concept of time. My husband used to go into meltdown when we were late for anything but instead of picking up his good habits, I destroyed them. He is now as bad as I. Now, whenever making plans, I always add an 'ish' at the end of the number. I am going to try to be there by 5-ish but we all know it will be closer to 6.

[mugaliens]

It depends on the venue. Having friends over for dinner? Anything within half an hour after "start" time is fine with me. An important meeting? Better be on time, or I'll start the meeting without you!

[mahesh]

.....Is this just me? Am I right to be annoyed when the guys take an hour to get ready, even knowing they're being picked up in forty minutes?

i didn't realise you were talking about males here, Gillian...until

...one of the reasons I haven't complained to the boys. ...

that is just downright rude. keeping others waiting. spoils the fun of being at a game. cricket, baseball, whatever. that's plain slobbery, time-wise.

i'm more tolerant of the fairer sex being late. but guys? forget it. f o r g e t it.

...The other reason is that it won't do any good.

that's classic male rudeness, indifference, for which i have even less time.

edit: may be tell them, next time, that they've run out of time and they are trespassing upon Eternity!

[geonuc]

Gillian, I'm one of the scruptiously on-time sort. To a fault, probably. But I recognize that a lot people aren't and I don't think ten minutes is a big deal, especially for getting a ride to a game.

Now to a meeting, that's different. I set up a meeting earlier this week and two of my team members showed up five minutes late. The problem for them was that our boss decided to sit in on it and he was not happy with them. Words were said and I don't think they'll do that anymore.

Being late for restaurant reservations is a big no-no with me, as well.

[sarongsong]

...my friend got called away to take a bunch of other gamers to a LARP...she waited a good ten minutes for them to be ready. This happens all the time...the guys take an hour to get ready, even knowing they're being picked up in forty minutes...

Time for your friend to start being 'fashionably late' with this particular crew.

[Whirlpool]

My father taught me that "15 minutes early is on time." That served me well in the military and continues to this day.

My wife is a Filipina and she warned me about "Filipino Time", which is usually the scheduled time plus 15 minutes to 2 hours. She's normally punctual but many of her friends aren't. It's very annoying.

That's one annoying trait that we Filipinos have.

But as for me , actually , I hate being late , so I never come late , if ever I do, there is a valid reason why .
Usually if I have to meet somebody , I came 5-10 mins early , I don't want the person to wait for me , it's a matter of respecting the time of the person and yours.

[hhEb09'1]

My grandfather was compulsively punctual as well, to the extent of making me look tardy. He once yelled at me for being late--because his watch was set five minutes ahead and I was on time. It was really irritating, actually, which is one of the reasons I haven't complained to the boys.

So, you couldn't have been more than five minutes late, even by his watch, right? What were you guys doing? Launching ICBMs or something?

Ummm, there's not enough options on the poll.

[Frog march]

you could set your watch by my time keeping behaviour; unfortunately if you did this, you would have a watch that told the wrong time.....

[hhEb09'1]

you could set your watch by my time keeping behaviour; unfortunately if you did this, you would have a watch that told the wrong time.....

My dad once said all I had to do was reset my watch and I'd be fixed.