I have a new theory about gravity. I don't have any math to back it up and it may have come to me in a dream involving a screaming lion and something about blueberry and whipped cream pies.
Gravity is not a function of mass. It is caused by the flow of a particle I call "intrinsics" which come from the dimension people most commonly called time but which in fact *itself* contains 4 additional dimensions. Package deal. So the 4th dimension is really 4 dimensions in one dimension. We'll call it a "dimentia" just to keep it simple.
Now these 4 dimensions rolled into one consist of the intrinsics I mentioned before. They all have different functions, though. For example there is a color intrinsic. All intrinsics with a color of blue can have an effect on all other blue intrinsics but not on any others. Also there is a texture intrinsic. Rough cannot effect smooth.
So how does this effect gravity?
Well when a blue, rough, squishy, counter-adjuctum-spinning intrinsic flows through the space-time world in its own dimentia it causes drag on the 3 additional non-dimentias. This drag is what we consider gravity.
I also think that when a red, smooth, melty, pro-positive-unculating intrinsic passes near our spirit center lines (which can be followed using a dowsing rod and some bacon) we see into the 4th dimentia.