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Thread: Please Please No!!

  1. 2010-Jul-21, 06:20 PM #2311
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    There's a Boy in My Soup: Julia Child replaces Peter Sellers in this outrageous remake of the 1960s classic comedy. A grim and dour 60-something Childs bumps into Orlando Bloom in a grocer's aisle. It's love at first sight for the matronly chef...and against all odds, Bloom falls under Childs' arduous spell (it's the ROMA TOMATOES, stupid!). Lovestruck, Bloom follows Childs around, is at her every whim. When Childs publically humiliates him at an Iron Chef America contest, Bloom comes to his senses, and runs off to Australia where he meets a supermodel. Childs, scorned and furious, creates a voodoo doll resembling Bloom from a rutabag and drops it into a kettle of boiling soup. Nothing happens to Bloom, who goes on to marry the beautiful Aussie supermodel; they have 10 kids and live happily ever after while Childs is later confined to a nursing home where she intermittently screams "There's a boy in my soup!!" The End.
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  2. 2010-Jul-21, 06:29 PM #2312
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    That truly is a please no movie, though I might enjoy seeing Julia Childs play an evil puppetmaster. Puppet slaves could explain how she keeps her kitchen so prepped and clean before and during her shows.
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  3. 2010-Jul-22, 01:23 PM #2313
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    Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby - #1 NASCAR driver Ricky Bobby stays atop the heap thanks to a pact with his best friend and teammate, Cal Naughton, Jr. But when a French Formula One driver, makes his way up the ladder, Ricky Bobby's talent and devotion are put to the test.
    I wish I knew all those years ago that simply joining this board and proclaiming myself to be rational would magically transform my uninformed opinions into science; it would have saved me a lot of time and effort.
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  4. 2010-Jul-22, 08:46 PM #2314
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    District 9 - Nine stitchpunk homonculi made from the soul of a dead scientist find all life on Earth wiped out, except for an alien ghetto.
    STARGAZING: All I see are the lights of a billion places I'll never go. --Howard Tayler, Schlock Mercenary
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  5. 2010-Jul-23, 01:19 PM #2315
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    The East German Job: incredibly well-organized crime caper comes to a crashing halt because all the participants were police informants.

    Queens: Woody Allen continues his exploration beyond the bounds of Manhattan and finds that the people aren't soulless automata.

    Walkaround: Difficult, artsy movie involving people doing preflights.
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  6. 2010-Jul-23, 03:12 PM #2316
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    Walt Disney's 3D animated remake of Lethal Weapon with Mel Gibson as the only real person in it.
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  7. 2010-Jul-23, 03:57 PM #2317
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    Quote Originally Posted by DukePaul View Post
    Walt Disney's 3D animated remake of Lethal Weapon with Mel Gibson as the only real person in it.
    No guesses as to what the weapon is.
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

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  8. 2010-Jul-23, 07:48 PM #2318
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    Chocolate in Wonderland: What happens when Charlie and Alice learn that Willie Wonka is also the Mad Hatter? Co-starring Tom Hanks as the King of Hearts.
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  9. 2010-Jul-23, 07:54 PM #2319
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    Man vs Wild Housewives of Miami: Bear challenges the dark canyons and hard peaks of the exotic refuge of the narcissistic Florida cougar.
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  10. 2010-Jul-25, 09:23 PM #2320
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    'Salamander' Dundee: "You call that an oxygen-permeable skin? Now THIS is an oxygen-permeable skin!"

    GlasnostBusters: A group of unemployed think-tank commentators attempt to sabotage Mikhail Gorbachev's efforts.
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  11. 2010-Jul-27, 09:34 PM #2321
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    Johnny Pneumonic: A cyborg courier gets so much air pumped into his head that it explodes.
    STARGAZING: All I see are the lights of a billion places I'll never go. --Howard Tayler, Schlock Mercenary
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  12. 2010-Jul-27, 09:42 PM #2322
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    Farm Mars Now: Turns out that pot, construction crews and office workers can all be genetically adapted to grow on Mars! Now everybody wants to go.
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  13. 2010-Jul-28, 09:35 PM #2323
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    Space: $19.99: And if you call right now, you will get a second one absolutely free. Just pay shipping and handling for both.
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  14. 2010-Jul-28, 10:33 PM #2324
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    Quote Originally Posted by mike alexander View Post
    Space: $19.99: And if you call right now, you will get a second one absolutely free. Just pay shipping and handling for both.
    I remember the ads for their spectacular one-time event, Moon blowout sale. That is why the Moon left Earth's orbit, by the way -- they lost their lease.
    So many bugs, so little time.
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  15. 2010-Jul-29, 03:50 AM #2325
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    High Moon: A lunar prospector discovers helium-3 has the same effect as cannabinoids and uses up Earth's future energy supply on one priom binge.
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  16. 2010-Jul-29, 05:27 AM #2326
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    Up In Smog: Thomas Chong, Esq. releases his finding, and his lung contents, to reveal the true source of the awful smog problems in East L.A.
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  17. 2010-Jul-29, 08:23 AM #2327
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    Weekend at Bernies III - self-explanatory.
    I wish I knew all those years ago that simply joining this board and proclaiming myself to be rational would magically transform my uninformed opinions into science; it would have saved me a lot of time and effort.
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  18. 2010-Jul-29, 12:27 PM #2328
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    Snow White Does the Seven Dwarfs: Disney goes XXX.
    Information about American English usage here and here. Floating point issues? Please read this before posting.
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  19. 2010-Jul-29, 03:07 PM #2329
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    Elvis Returns: Presley is reincarnated as the son a polka master.
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  20. 2010-Jul-29, 03:22 PM #2330
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    Quote Originally Posted by mike alexander View Post
    Space: $19.99: And if you call right now, you will get a second one absolutely free. Just pay shipping and handling for both.
    ROFL!!

    The Apple Dumpling Gangbusters: After an earthquake in 1878 California, three orphaned children discover a big gold nugget worth $10,000. Unfortunately the quake also disturbs the sleeping spirits of recently-deceased prospectors. Envious and malicious, the prospectors' spectres begin haunting the children. It's up to Bill Bixby, Bill Murray and Don Knotts to do some ghostbusting. Co-starring Reese Witherspoon as Slimer.
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  21. 2010-Jul-29, 08:41 PM #2331
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    Dave&Busters: Venkman, Stantz, Spengler and Zeddemore do dinner and games.
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  22. 2010-Jul-29, 08:52 PM #2332
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    Dave & Busters: Letterman, Adam Savage, and Jamie Hyneman make a movie. It involves making and destroying lots of funny gadgets.
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

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  23. 2010-Jul-30, 02:43 AM #2333
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    Quote Originally Posted by Swift View Post
    Dave & Busters: Letterman, Adam Savage, and Jamie Hyneman make a movie. It involves making and destroying lots of funny gadgets.
    I'd watch that, especially if Letterman plays "Buster."
    Information about American English usage here and here. Floating point issues? Please read this before posting.
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  24. 2010-Aug-02, 02:23 AM #2334
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    African Child by Aldous Snow
    I wish I knew all those years ago that simply joining this board and proclaiming myself to be rational would magically transform my uninformed opinions into science; it would have saved me a lot of time and effort.
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  25. 2010-Aug-02, 08:59 PM #2335
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    The Adventures of Robinson: Intrepid BAUT poster finds a great place to go with Friday on Saturday night.
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  26. 2010-Aug-02, 09:03 PM #2336
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    Quote Originally Posted by mike alexander View Post
    The Adventures of Robinson: Intrepid BAUT poster finds a great place to go with Friday on Saturday night.
    Wasn't that the movie with the theme song "Another Saturday night and I ain't got not pie..."?
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

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  27. 2010-Aug-03, 01:38 AM #2337
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    Ferret Boilers Day Off: With the price of bunnies soaring, and all the ferrets busy in BAUT threads, a day off is the only option left.
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  28. 2010-Aug-03, 01:53 AM #2338
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    The Iron Chefs Brigade: Docudrama of the Civil War battle between Pickett's 15,000 man cavalry and the 1500 Japanese cooks who repelled them with meat cleavers and iron woks.
    problems worthy of attack prove their worth by hitting back (Piet Hein)I cook with wine, and sometime I even add it to the food. (W.C. Fields)
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  29. 2010-Aug-04, 03:36 AM #2339
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    Torn Curtain II - a double agent tries to discover who damaged the draperies.
    I wish I knew all those years ago that simply joining this board and proclaiming myself to be rational would magically transform my uninformed opinions into science; it would have saved me a lot of time and effort.
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  30. 2010-Aug-04, 05:44 AM #2340
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    Torn Quoiting: An aggressive game of quoits turns nasty when things get a little too competitive.
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