I legally can't play the lottery if I want to or not; it's illegal to spend state benefits on gambling, and they specifically include the lottery in the paperwork they make you sign. (For the record: I will occasionally buy a scratcher ticket of the kind that's really just a game, because those entertain me and it would be nice if I won.)
"Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"
"You can't erase icing."
"I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"