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Thread: Read that again?

  1. #61
    Going back on topic (I feel dirty), here's a piece of journalistic language that leaves no room for discussion:

    "we've got some problems that are problematic situations."

    (free after eyewitness quotation in Belgian newspaper)

    At least it's clear .

  2. #62
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    Quote Originally Posted by jamesabrown View Post
    In Stephen King's novel The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon, the young protagonist is supposedly stalked through the woods by the monster for several days, and the narrator explains that terror makes the meat sweet.
    Sure, if you're a monster haunting the New England woods!
    _____________________________________________
    Gillian

    "Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"

    "You can't erase icing."

    "I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"

  3. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nicolas View Post
    Going back on topic...
    My read-that-again for the week was an opinion-piece in the SF Chronicle. The author used the phrase, "When war broke out in Iraq..."

    I know war-and-politics are frowned on here, so I'll just say that that particular "choice of words" stopped me in my tracks!

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    Ohio Inmates Allowed To Shake Hands

    Indiana's prison system issued a directive that inmates should greet each other by gently bumping fists instead, to fight the spread of germs and disease.
    So; dirty hands are not discouraged?

  5. #65
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    And how are the children? Hungry

    At the East End Community School in Portland, 85 percent of the students live in households with incomes 185 percent below the federal poverty level.
    185 percent below the federal poverty level isn't an income, it's an outgo!

  6. #66
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    Here's a good one. A defense attorney offers Lindsay Lohan some helpful advice:

    "Whatever you have done in the past, do a 360-degree turn and go the other way," Sands said Wednesday.
    He's a "certified drug and alcohol counselor"!

    EDIT: Weird. That link didn't require registration when I first came across it, but now it is...

  7. #67
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    Ok; The big coffee guys are raising thier prices about 3%. Not a story in my opinion, but when I saw this...
    Another customer said "they're getting an extra three fifty from me each month, that's cool."
    I really had to rethink what was said (it's in the video for inflection purposes)

    I think "cool" is getting too many definitions nowadays.

  8. #68
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    U.S.-Canada border easily crossed with radioactive material

    Government investigators were able to cross from Canada into the United States carrying a duffle bag with contents that looked like radioactive material
    Anybody want to tell me what radioactive material looks like?

    Radioactivity sensors don't go by what something looks like.

    And yes, I know they have them (at least at the gates) because a bus that a friend of mine was riding on got stopped because they detected the radiation from a one-week old stress test that he had.

  9. #69
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    Guess it depends on what they mean by "looked like". If they mean it gives off signals that would look radioactive to the detectors, then yeah that's an issue. If they mean looked like to the eye, then you're left with all the points NEOWatcher made, and someone should inform the reporters that not all nuclear materials come in barrells with the biohazard symbol clearly stamped on the side.

  10. #70
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fazor View Post
    Guess it depends on what they mean by "looked like". If they mean it gives off signals that would look radioactive to the detectors, then yeah that's an issue.
    I agree there, but if it looks radioactive to a radiation detector, then it IS radioactive, and therefore not fake.

    I stand by my comment.

  11. #71
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    since these comments are typed and not spoken, I sit by mine (I have a hard time typing standing up; desk is too low for that).

  12. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fazor View Post
    since these comments are typed and not spoken, I sit by mine (I have a hard time typing standing up; desk is too low for that).
    But it's not really a comment until you're done typing, at which point, you can stand up...

  13. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by NEOWatcher View Post
    But it's not really a comment until you're done typing, at which point, you can stand up...
    True, but there's not much room for standing here behind my desk, so when I do stand up I tend to wander away. Therefore I'd have to say that 'I stand away from my comments', which implies that I don't hold to them. Therefore...oh nevermind. My stupid mood just ran out, methinks. Perhaps I'll actually go do some work...

  14. #74
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    More of an ooops...
    Fire Truck Crashes into Dorm

    ...firefighters responded to a frat house for a deep fryer fire.
    Firefighters parked the truck and turned on the hose - but somehow the truck moved and careened into a nearby dorm - rupturing a gas line.
    Better headline?... "Freshmen Flee for Failure foiling frat fat fryer fire"...

  15. #75
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    Quote Originally Posted by NEOWatcher View Post
    Better headline?... "Freshmen Flee for Failure foiling frat fat fryer fire"...
    Someone give that man a job! I'd maybe even re-subscribe to the paper.

  16. #76
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    Quote Originally Posted by NEOWatcher View Post
    U.S.-Canada border easily crossed with radioactive material



    Anybody want to tell me what radioactive material looks like? .

    Dont you ever watch the Simpsons?

  17. #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fazor View Post
    Someone give that man a job! I'd maybe even re-subscribe to the paper.
    Gee thanks... Did you try to say it out loud?

    Anyway, the competing station's take on the story is definately in the Bad reporting thread.

    Student Calls Home After Fire Truck Hits Dorm
    The story is the interview of a mother of one of the students.
    Of course, to interview any of the 240 students, they would have had to travel all the way to the edge of the viewing area.

  18. #78
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    Apparently; there is not a lot of proofreaders out there. There's something about a typo that changes the headline dramatically.

    Accused Baby Guilty Found Guilty, Spared the Death Penalty

    Wow; the death penalty for juveniles? Must be one very mean baby.

  19. #79
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    Well, with a name like "Baby Guilty", how'd anyone expect him/her to be found innocent?

  20. #80
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    The whole story is kind of an odd one...
    Time doesn’t really freeze when you’re freaked

    But one statement in particular made me chuckle.
    However, roller coasters and other frightening amusement park rides did not cause enough fear to make time warp. Instead, the researchers dropped volunteers from great heights.

  21. #81
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    "As God is my witness, I thought Volunteers could fly!"

  22. #82
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    Quote Originally Posted by mike alexander View Post
    "As God is my witness, I thought Volunteers could fly!"
    Great connection... How many times has a volunteer been called a turkey?

  23. #83
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    Quote Originally Posted by mike alexander View Post
    "As God is my witness, I thought Volunteers could fly!"
    As was said about sheep, "they don't fly so much as they plummet".
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

    All moderation in purple - The rules

  24. #84
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    Quote Originally Posted by Swift View Post
    As was said about sheep, "they don't fly so much as they plummet".
    I'm not familiar with that reference.

    But; Mike's reminded me of one that makes me roar in laughter every time I hear it.

    Story here.... Audio Here.

    Unfortunately, all the video links I found have been pulled.

    Edit...found one.

  25. #85
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    Quote Originally Posted by NEOWatcher View Post
    I'm not familiar with that reference.
    All such references are either from Monty Python or the Hitchhiker's Guide. In this particular case, the former (a TV sketch about sheep living in trees).
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

    All moderation in purple - The rules

  26. #86
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    Quote Originally Posted by NEOWatcher View Post
    I'm not familiar with that reference.
    When in doubt around here, look to Monty Python. (Or, you know, The Simpsons or Futurama. But in this case, Monty Python.)
    _____________________________________________
    Gillian

    "Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"

    "You can't erase icing."

    "I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"

  27. #87
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    Quote Originally Posted by Swift View Post
    All such references are either from Monty Python or the Hitchhiker's Guide. In this particular case, the former (a TV sketch about sheep living in trees).
    As much as a fan I am of the outragiousness of MP (reference clip here) I like a more realistic character humor better.
    Besides, the turkey bit is just the perfect picture of what made me chuckle.

  28. #88
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    Oddly enough, this famous WKRP episode was loosely based on a real event! Back in 1946 (some sources say 1945), Yellville, Arkansas inaugurated the "Turkey Trot Festival" which included a wild turkey calling contest, a turkey target shoot, a Miss Drumsticks Pageant and oh yeah: a live turkey release from the roof of the courthouse. After a few years, someone thought it might be fun to actually toss the poor gobblers out of a low-flying airplane for the event
    I grew up in Yellville - 1954-60 and attended many Turkey Trots and even participated in a few (rode a horse in the parade). The turkey drops were a comedy of errors. One year, they used domestic turkeys - splat! Most years they used wild turkeys with clipped wing feathers. One year, somebody forgot to clip the wings and they all flew away!

    I don't know if they still do, but local gift and curio shops used to have post cards with a young girl leading a large wire frame a crepe paper turkey. That young girl is my sister. She led the "turkey" (carried by hulking high school student) in the parade. For the photo shoot I was the guy carrying the turkey.

  29. #89
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    Re: Read that again?

    I'm reminded of the Married...with Children t-day episode where Kelly brings home ("Hey guys, look at this fat chicken that followed me home. I'm gonna name him 'Hank'.") a live domestic turkey she found. The family and the neighbors want to do only one thing with it, but Kelly takes "Hank" up to her room and decides the only recourse is to have the turkey fly to freedom. So she throws the bird out her window, pleading "Fly away, Hank! Fly like the wind!"

    After the turkey smashes into the ground, breaking its neck, Kelly cries "I meant 'Fly UP', Hank!"

  30. #90
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    Ah, nothing like professional journalism with thier spell checking and proof reading...

    And then there's the news.

    Teen Accused of Trying to Run Down Cop Held in Juvenile Detention
    Ok, once I got past why the cop would be held in juvy, I got to the first sentence.
    Cleveland, OH - The 15-year-old boy behind the steel of a stolen car that tried to plow into police officers was in court Thursday.
    Aren't most cars steel?

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