To those whom seem to have missed the point:
Folks! It's an INTENTIONAL JOKE!!!
What, for instance, does the following excerpt (from the OP) signify to you???
To make no mention of several other ‘conceptual malapropisms” unworthy of comment here…"I was out back just looking up with my naked eyes when I could see Pluto being mugged from behind by a galactic robber."
Anyway, was there a singularity so near as the inner reaches of the Kuiper belt - no matter how 'small' - *TRUST ME* we'd ALL have been long since gathered to our 'foreparents'!!! - Dontcha jus' love it when I get all 'PC'-like