First PX, now this...

**lenin** · 2003-Jun-06, 10:47 PM

Re: Planet Mercury

URGENT PRESS RELEASE FROM NASA

Head of NASA Prof Dale VanHonkinspleen has just announced that a BLACK HOLE has entered the soalr system and is, at this moment, swallowing Pluto . This is the most astounding thing to happen in the history of mankind.

What does this mean for the rest of the solar system? "It´s likely that the black hole is small enough that it will only get as far Saturn where the suns magnetic field is strong enough to push this space invader back out of the solar system" said the professor.

The black hole wasn´t discovered until fragments of the outermost planet began to tear off. It was spotted on Sunday night by amateur astronomer Wendy Spunconometer. "I was out back just looking up with my naked eyes when I could see Pluto being mugged from behind by a galactic robber." Thinking that this might be big she decided to contact the President of the United States where she was put on hold for twenty minutes before being re-directed to NASA.

Is there a danger to earth?

When asked about this Prof VanHonkinspleen replied "There´s a 50-1 shot it´ll kill us on May 15 but I´m a member of Gamblers Anonymous so I couldn´t possibly continue this conversation."

We decided to ask amateur astronomer Mr ScOrPiOn his thoughts "When you look at all of the recent earth changes it all falls into place. I knew all along it was a black hole but my colleagues at some website doubted my infinite wisdom." He went on " I tell it like I see it. I was right you know."

With the uncertainty of our very existence at stake there are many sceptics who think that NASA are just making it up. "Why should we believe anything they say? They covered up planet X. This is just a diversion." said Danny Bakdore, head of Godlike productions observatory on top of Mount Everest."Watch for mid to late May. It´ll come"

"I’ve been scanning the skies for months and have seen no evidence of this black hole." Mr Bakdore claims that a doomsday planet is on its way in the solar system- and its making a B-line for planet earth! "I´ve got some fuzzy pictures that were definitely not done on Photoshop v5.35 beta. They prove it´s existence, i can tell you."

So do we buy the inbound black hole theory or the ridiculous planet x proposal? Either way we´ll know sooner or later if one of both of these parties are due for a trip to the funny farm.

Yup... I got this here http://66.242.35.139/bbs/message.php...page=1&topic=3

(somebody else posted this link in another thread)

**ObiWan377** · 2003-Jun-06, 10:50 PM

I'd take it seriously, but it just doesn't look professional.

**dgruss23** · 2003-Jun-06, 10:50 PM

I'm going to remain calm.

**Michelle** · 2003-Jun-06, 10:53 PM

Just think, to be immortalized for a million year freeze, reading a comic book. Is that accurate? I heard this guy was like the foremost expert on black holes, and he said you'd freeze for a thousand/million years, in one position.

**ObiWan377** · 2003-Jun-06, 10:57 PM

By the way, i'm not going to trust an astronomer by the name of Dale Vanhonkinspleen.

**~~Archer17~~** · 2003-Jun-06, 10:58 PM

Actually I think you'd end up stretched like a noodle .. the "image" prior to that happening is what would be seen by those at a safer distance. Anyone reading a comic book as they fall into a black hole is indeed "remaining calm"

**SKY** · 2003-Jun-06, 10:59 PM

Originally Posted by Michelle

Just think, to be immortalized for a million year freeze, reading a comic book. Is that accurate? I heard this guy was like the foremost expert on black holes, and he said you'd freeze for a thousand/million years, in one position.

I believe that is only too the outside observer. You yourself would see the universe speed up the closer you get to a black hole.

Originally Posted by Archer17

Actually I think you'd end up stretched like a noodle...

Yes, as you get closer the the tug on the part closer to the black hole will be tremendous, and you will be "Spaghettified"

**dgruss23** · 2003-Jun-06, 11:05 PM

Sky wrote: Yes, as you get closer the the tug on the part closer to the black hole will be tremendous, and you will be "Spaghettified".

Now if you were rotating as you were getting pulled in might you not get "Rotelleified"?

**SKY** · 2003-Jun-06, 11:09 PM

Originally Posted by dgruss23

Sky wrote: Yes, as you get closer the the tug on the part closer to the black hole will be tremendous, and you will be "Spaghettified".

Now if you were rotating as you were getting pulled in might you not get "Rotelleified"?

That or "Rigatonified"

**purplekitten** · 2003-Jun-06, 11:18 PM

Is there a danger to earth?

When asked about this Prof VanHonkinspleen replied "There´s a 50-1 shot it´ll kill us on May 15 but I´m a member of Gamblers Anonymous so I couldn´t possibly continue this conversation."

So it should have already spagettified us then...

**SKY** · 2003-Jun-06, 11:26 PM

Originally Posted by purplekitten

Is there a danger to earth?

When asked about this Prof VanHonkinspleen replied "There´s a 50-1 shot it´ll kill us on May 15 but I´m a member of Gamblers Anonymous so I couldn´t possibly continue this conversation."

So it should have already spagettified us then...

Yes, and as the PX scenerio it has been proven a hoax...or "Baloneyfied"

**dgruss23** · 2003-Jun-06, 11:31 PM

Sky wrote: Yes, and as the PX scenerio it has been proven a hoax...or "Baloneyfied"

Yeah, but Nancy's face has been eggified!

**Sigma_Orionis** · 2003-Jun-06, 11:34 PM

With the uncertainty of our very existence at stake there are many sceptics who think that NASA are just making it up. "Why should we believe anything they say? They covered up planet X. This is just a diversion." said Danny Bakdore, head of Godlike productions observatory on top of Mount Everest."Watch for mid to late May. It´ll come"

"I’ve been scanning the skies for months and have seen no evidence of this black hole." Mr Bakdore claims that a doomsday planet is on its way in the solar system- and its making a B-line for planet earth! "I´ve got some fuzzy pictures that were definitely not done on Photoshop v5.35 beta. They prove it´s existence, i can tell you."

So do we buy the inbound black hole theory or the ridiculous planet x proposal? Either way we´ll know sooner or later if one of both of these parties are due for a trip to the funny farm.

Obviously a parody

**Greenhalgh** · 2003-Jun-06, 11:38 PM

OK, before anyone takes this seriously (I know its hard, but you'd be surprised) let take a look at some of the highlights! :P

Re: Planet Mercury

URGENT PRESS RELEASE FROM NASA

Head of NASA Prof Dale VanHonkinspleen...

...amateur astronomer Wendy Spunconometer....

When asked about this Prof VanHonkinspleen replied "There´s a 50-1 shot it´ll kill us on May 15 but I´m a member of Gamblers Anonymous so I couldn´t possibly continue this conversation."

... amateur astronomer Mr ScOrPiOn...

... Danny Bakdore, head of Godlike productions observatory on top of Mount Everest."Watch for mid to late May. It´ll come" ...

... Mr Bakdore claims that a doomsday planet is on its way in the solar system- and its making a B-line for planet earth! "I´ve got some fuzzy pictures that were definitely not done on Photoshop v5.35 beta.

So do we buy the inbound black hole theory or the ridiculous planet x proposal? Either way we´ll know sooner or later if one of both of these parties are due for a trip to the funny farm.

Not even worthy of The Weekly World News.

**purplekitten** · 2003-Jun-06, 11:42 PM

Not even worthy of The Weekly World News.

Ahhh... The Weekly World News

I wonder how Bat Boy is doing these days?

**SKY** · 2003-Jun-06, 11:45 PM

Originally Posted by dgruss23

Sky wrote: Yes, and as the PX scenerio it has been proven a hoax...or "Baloneyfied"

Yeah, but Nancy's face has been eggified!

**tazmandevil3** · 2003-Jun-07, 12:40 AM

Stupid question, but can black holes even move?

**purplekitten** · 2003-Jun-07, 12:44 AM

Just to clear this up for me as I did have a little bit of a sleepless night about it the other night before I read the thing properly....

But there is no black hole around that has sucked up Pluto and is working its way through our solar system is there ? And Mercury has not dropped out of its orbit? I know this is probably basic stuff, but I want to nip it in the bud now before I get another ulcer

**Greenhalgh** · 2003-Jun-07, 12:45 AM

Originally Posted by purplekitten

Not even worthy of The Weekly World News.

Ahhh... The Weekly World News

I wonder how Bat Boy is doing these days?

Wow! Another UKer has heard of the Weekly World News! It's good to know I'm not the only one who has been subjected to its ramblings in the past.

**dgruss23** · 2003-Jun-07, 12:46 AM

Originally Posted by tazmandevil3

Stupid question, but can black holes even move?

Yes. In fact I was just reading a research article this week in which the authors have proposed that the Milky Way's core may have an Intermediate Mass Black hole of several thousand solar masses in addtion to the ~ 3 million solar mass black hole thought to be in the core. But even stellar mass black holes are expected to move with the galactic rotation.

**Greenhalgh** · 2003-Jun-07, 12:47 AM

Originally Posted by purplekitten

Just to clear this up for me as I did have a little bit of a sleepless night about it the other night before I read the thing properly....

But there is no black hole around that has sucked up Pluto and is working its way through our solar system is there ? And Mercury has not dropped out of its orbit? I know this is probably basic stuff, but I want to nip it in the bud now before I get another ulcer

Hehe, no. Don't worry. I think we can safely say that things would be mighty wrong around the Solar System if something like that was lurking nearby... I worry about everything but this doesn't even make my heart beat faster!

**nexus** · 2003-Jun-07, 12:50 AM

I want to see Pluto with my naked eye

!

**purplekitten** · 2003-Jun-07, 12:50 AM

Hehe, no. Don't worry. I think we can safely say that things would be mighty wrong around the Solar System if something like that was lurking nearby... I worry about everything but this doesn't even make my heart beat faster!

*phew* Ok... Maybe I squat those damn butterflys in my tummy now. I just hate the thought of black holes. Don't wanna get spagettified

I remember watching that "Space" with Sam Neil that was on BBC1 a couple of years back and what he said about them and what they are capable of doing scared the hell out of me

**purplekitten** · 2003-Jun-07, 12:52 AM

I want to see Pluto with my naked eye !

I spy with my NAKED eye something beginning with..... U :wink:

**dgruss23** · 2003-Jun-07, 12:53 AM

Originally Posted by purplekitten

Just to clear this up for me as I did have a little bit of a sleepless night about it the other night before I read the thing properly....

But there is no black hole around that has sucked up Pluto and is working its way through our solar system is there ? And Mercury has not dropped out of its orbit? I know this is probably basic stuff, but I want to nip it in the bud now before I get another ulcer

Purplekitten - It will be better for your ulcers if you remain calm.

**Greenhalgh** · 2003-Jun-07, 12:56 AM

Sure, they are powerful things. Of course, I'm no expert, but from my limited knowledge I know that these things are pretty nasty pieces of work. The closest one list around 1600 light years away... quite a distance! Considering the size of a black hole, it's most unlikely one will approach the Earth within... well, billions of years I'd say, let alone our lifetimes. Personally, I don't have time to worry about that!

**WolfKC** · 2003-Jun-07, 01:07 AM

Originally Posted by dgruss23

Sky wrote: Yes, and as the PX scenerio it has been proven a hoax...or "Baloneyfied"

Yeah, but Nancy's face has been eggified!

Nancy Eggified
PX Baloneyfied
:P

**dgruss23** · 2003-Jun-07, 01:17 AM

Love the Pictures WolfKc!!!

Nice work!

**WolfKC** · 2003-Jun-07, 01:51 AM

Originally Posted by purplekitten

Just to clear this up for me as I did have a little bit of a sleepless night about it the other night before I read the thing properly....
But there is no black hole around that has sucked up Pluto and is working its way through our solar system is there ? And Mercury has not dropped out of its orbit? I know this is probably basic stuff, but I want to nip it in the bud now before I get another ulcer

I set out a sign for you so you dont have to worry anymore!
Sign

**WolfKC** · 2003-Jun-07, 01:52 AM

Originally Posted by dgruss23

Love the Pictures WolfKc!!!

Nice work!

ops:

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