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LONGEST BOOK.
The French edition of a directory of ladder
manufacturers. The illustrations were made
full size due to an error by the publisher.
The printing plates were the largest ever
made and a special printing press was built
for them. A first batch of 1000 were delivered
before anyone questioned the matter. Fortunately
each ladder was pictured in the folded up mode
so each book was only 4 metres deep.
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Honored Member
The oldest graphic novel ever written is "Giant Aurochs Chased the Bowmen," by Crazy Bear Spear, Chevaux Cave, France (31,482 BCE)
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SHORTEST RULER.
King Rufus who was just 1 foot 5 inches
when he ascended. The crown added 3 inches.
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Longest criminal record
The 83 minutes long interpretation for tin whistle of the traditional "Portsmouth" by Jack The Ripper.
Honored Member
Russian Scientists Tap Vast Antarctic Vodka Lake
Drilling down over two miles through the south polar ice cap, Russian scientists announced they have reached the surface of the largest untapped reservoir of vodka known.
"With estimates that Lake Vodkastok holds more than twenty thousand cubic kilometers of Stolichnaya-grade vodka, fears of 'peak vodka' in Russia have been pushed back at least twenty years," Vasili Flipov, head of the drilling team, told reporters. "And it's already perfectly iced."
Prime Minister Valdimir Putin told an excited Duma that plans were already underway for construction of a pipeline to bring the vodka to a port on the coast where converted nuclear-powered icebreakers would tank up and transport the precious fluid to receiving terminals on the Black Sea. "The basic fuel source of the Russian people has been given a big boost by this discovery," Putin said.
In America, the hunt for similar bourbon reserves, under the guise of 'hydraulic fracturing', has still not made significant progress, finding only large amounts of natural gas instead.
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TIP.
And remember some like their martini
still not stationary.
Honored Member
Oldest living solipsist di-
Established Member
World's shortest limerick.
Although the form of the limerick has remained unchanged ever since the watermelon, the record for the shortest version has only been established twice in living memory.
The first was by Albert Spon of Lower Tockley, Herts. in July 1917 and went thus:
"There once was an old man from Crewe,
Whose limericks stopped at Line 2."
As soon as this was published, it was immediately beaten by Dennis Maynard of Wensleydale who replied:
"There once was a man from Verdun."
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Dr Samuel Hardpepper of Croyden wrote a limerick with the title "Hero".
Honored Member
'Limerick' is a contraction of 'lime rickey', the world's foulest-tasting highball.
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"Haiku" is Japanese for "I'm sorry I wasted your time but it was only for 17 syllables."
Honored Member
The worst self-introduction was used by James' chemist brother.
"Bond. Sigma bond."
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Most Convincing Argument For The Moon Landing Hoax
The most convincing argument ever presented in support of the idea that They Never Went To The Moon was delivered by an activist named Mutley whose posts were described as "fairly convincing" by one commentator. Mutley, who owns a computer and has access to the internet, stated (repeatedly) that he is "really good" with an astrolabe, and therefore it follows that Harrison Schmitt, supposedly the only geologist to walk on the moon, had never been further than Sweden. When asked how the latter statement could possibly follow from the former, Mutley pointed out that he was really good with an astrolabe and therefore Schmitt had not walked on the moon. He claimed that his sister and his girlfriend agreed with him, although it later emerged that they were the same person.
Most Convincing Argument Against The Pyramids
Internet activist Penelope Pitstop, girlfriend to Mutley, declared yesterday that she was really good at operating a cement mixer, and that it followed that the pyramids were phake [sic]. When asked what she meant by this, she stated that BAUT member grapes was quite wrong in this post, and that kissing Mutley did indeed resemble space travel.
Honored Member
Thank you for my morning spit-take.
Established Member
WORLD'S STEEPEST SKI SLOPE
The world's steepest ski trail, or piste, is "Gilgamesh's Gulch" at Johnson's Notch, Wyoming. It features a record slope of 108 degrees, which classifies it to be marked on the trail map as a quintuple black-diamond. It is unclear how snow manages to accumulate on such a slope, but it is believed to have something to do with the mass of tourists counteracting the force of gravity to some degree. Skiers are required to sign a waiver before embarking, which ensures that the resort will not be responsible for any injuries sustained during shameless displays of bravado. It was first discovered buy an unnamed member of the US geological survey team, who recommended that anyone who wasn't "chicken" should really try skiing it. This was followed by a successful descent by professional skier and womanizer Butch Manson. Since then, hundreds of insecure skiers and snowboarders have taken the challenge of descending it, with the intention of impressing girls they met back at the lodge.
This record may, in fact, be challenged by the most geometrically improbable ski-slope, located on the French/Swiss/German border. Due to it being a non-Euclidean surface, the exact slope is difficult to measure accurately, however, when reaching the end of the slope, skiers find themselves at the same place where they started.
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It's estimated that every second, many millions of neutrinos shoot through the period at the end of this sentence. This sentence had a billion neutrinos shoot through it's period.
By raising awareness within our communities – be it by participating in community walks, posting blogs, or simply forwarding the facts to friends and family – we call all help to stop the neutrino bombardment of periods in our lifetimes. For the children.
Solfe
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'That was tops! Who's not good at math? I was all, "Four!"' - Finn, Adventure Time.
Moderator
IIRC (which is, BTW, the new letters-only name for Fisher-Price), υsoft is creating Windows for iPad, as well as Roofs and Doors.Originally Posted by Jeff Root
I feel I have to respond to this scurrilous charge. Do I only have to point out that she's a brother lover?
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Honored Member
The Moon is the only object in the Solar System that is one and a half times its own mass.
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Yes, I read that somewhere. Or maybe I wrote it somewhere...
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Coincidentally, the Moon is also the only object in the Solar System that is 2/3 its own mass.
Honored Member
You're right. and since 2/3 x 3/2 = 1, maybe it isn't so amazing after all.
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The highest value for an IPO was 8x1013 dollars for the Internet social media site NoSecrets. It was also the fastest bubble burst, in under 3 femtoseconds, leading to the development of quantum virtual economics.
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JALLABBABOOOKBOOOK
The latest happy word for general use.
Children can use it to request beans
on toast. Teenagers for special haircuts.
Grown ups for general relief. Pensioners
for help with everything.
Better than that old supercali something.
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The record for the tallest jockey is held by Kłamca-Bardzo Długi-Wątek, who at 204 cm tall and 37 kg is also notorious for hiding behind lampposts, then jumping out and scaring telephone sanitizers.
Administrator
The record for the greatest number of Internet forum posts without mention of Angelina Jolie and ferrets has just been set at 43,654.
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Honored Member
The Catholic Church is the only religion whose main liturgical celebration is one and a half times its own Mass.
Bad Post-Doc
Oh, that's just terrible, Mike!
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Gillian
"Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"
"You can't erase icing."
"I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"
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