Aliens - Top 10 things you don't want to hear

[nebularain]

Top 10 Things We Wouldn't Want To Hear Aliens Say After Landing:

10. Mom, can I keep one? Pleeeeease?

9. FANTASTIC! We'll have those ores mined in no time!

8. Hello, we're going planet to planet offering these lovely Gin-su knives. Take a look at the craftsmanship - .

7. Can you validate our parking?

6. Oooh-They didn't say it was going to be a buffet.

5. Well I'm not eating this Earth-food. There must be a McZebulort's somewhere -

4. Take us to your leader. We want to meet this "Regis" person.

3. Let the games begin!

2. Our ship broke, do you mind if we use your phone to call the Beta Centauri Galaxy? - Oh, and we forgot our calling card.

1. Thanks for taking good care of all of our spotted owl - HEY, WAIT A SECOND!


(This piece of humor brought to you courtesy of Standard Devients

[traztx]

Or how about:

"Ahhhh... home sweet home. Hey wait a minute... honey didn't I tell you 10 million years ago you were supposed to lock the monkey cage?!"

[g99]

"i told you to make that left turn at Orion, now look at where we are....."

"Don't touch that! Its only got two arms and you know how dangerous they can be."

"Would you like to hear about our new model of Vacume cleaner?"

"So these are humans, you know they really are uglier in real life."

"Would you like to buy some Gogonscout cookies?"

"O.K. this place seems uninhaabited by intelegent life. Lets seee...O.K. the Casino will go here and put that toxix waste dump over there by that big concrete city."

[pmcolt]

"Greetings. We have come to serve man. burp"

"Bet I can bounce this big blue-green marble off that little red marble and into that star over there..."

"We are the Knights who say...Ni!"

"Earthers, we have come from Zeta Reticuli to warn you of a giant planet coming to destroy your own..."

[SollyLama]

You forgot:

"We'd like to offer you a free copy of The Watchtower"
"We're here to take your daughter out"
"Would you consider yourself to be light or dark meat?"
"Why did you cancel ALF? He's our ambassador"
"Have you seen our emmissary around here, he answers to the name Saddam Hussein?"
"Resistance is futile, you will be assimilated" <--- A little too easy

[Bill Thmpson]

How about:

"We have come to give a special award to John Edwards and Bart Sibrel"

(alright, you would have had to seen South Park)

[SKY]

“We’re tired of Elvis…here, have him back.”

“Would you please stop sending us video signals of American Idol.”

“May the Schwartz be with you”

[g99]

"we have come to kick your leaders butt"

"Anyone want to be a zoo specimen?"

[alien comes up with a crying kid] "Little Billy has something to say to you earthlings. Go say it billy, come on or no Gogonscout cookies for you!"

Little billy: "I'm sorry i tricked you folks. Me and a freind wanted to have some fun so we made you think that a planet was coming to get your planet. I'm sorry."

[fingolfen]

"Avon calling"

[girlgeek]

hahaha

how about "would you like to save money on your long-distance bills?"

girlgeek

[dgruss23]

"Yo duuudes, can you take me to Pauly Shores? He's - like - the main man planning our new world order. "

[Chuck]

"Our empire has more stars than we can keep track of and we heard there's a company here that will name them for us."

[dgruss23]

"Ahh Thorgon. This is the perfect planet to film our new galactic reality series Munching on the Natives."

"I bet these two legged creatures taste like chicken!"

"This planet is a little too dry, but we can fix that."

"Yes honey, this one has a lot of potential. We'll need to scrape it down to the mantle, but it'll fix up real nice like."

"No, no, no! This is all wrong. In fact, we'd better disinfect so nothing on it spreads."

[aporetic_r]

"Do you want to make more money? Sure, we all do! You can begin training for a new career today! Call now to learn more about our programs in Nanowidget Repair, Interstellar Cartography, or Antimatter Containment Technologist's Assistant. Or you can get your degree. You can major in Business Management, or in Accounting."

"We happily bestow upon you this Betamax copy of our compiled answers to the mysteries of the universe."

Aporetic
www.polisci.wisc.edu/~rdparrish

[freddo]

"We are from the church of Latter Day Interstellar Saints....."

[Peter B]

"Well, you wouldn't believe it...talking meat!"

"We've been doing a bit of comparing, and if you think your TV programs are terrible, you should see ours."

"There's a sequel to 'Matrix'? Cool!"

"What can you give us to prove to the folks back home that we were really here?"

"Do you have any spare tickets so we can go see Jerry?"

"So the Chicago Bulls beat Manchester United by 65 runs?"

"What is this thing called 'love'?" (Beautiful/handsome green-skinned humanoid aliens only...!)

[Botiemaster]

"All your base are belong to us!"

[freddo]

"All your base are belong to us!"

I can't for the life of me recall what this is from??? Educate the dunce please :wink:

C.

[Nightfall]

"All your base are belong to us!"

I can't for the life of me recall what this is from??? Educate the dunce please :wink:

C.

Are you sure you want to know? If you are, here is the link, but you have been warned. And you thought that the conspiracy behind the moon landings was large. :wink: :roll:

[Wingnut Ninja]

The fad to end all fads. It gets irritating after the first hundred or so references, to the point where many online forums have made its use a bannable offense.

Edit: beaten. Pooh.

Anyway, to take a page from Contact: "Take me to your Führer."

[freddo]

ahhh... Scary. Right. [slowly edges towards door]

[Glom]

"I have an appointment with Richard Hoagland and Stephen Spielberg. It's about the set we're being for them on... Cydonia. Can you tell them we've... arrived. Five minutes is all we need for this... encounter. We're in such a rush these days. All our time seems to be... abducted."

[dgruss23]

"Can you hear me now?"

[kucharek]

"Do you have some change?"
"Where is the restroom!? Where is the restroom!?"
"That's one small step for a Zeta, one giant leap for aliens."

[logicboy]

"WHAT!!!!! STAR TREK IS FAKE!!!"

[Soupdragon]

How about

"We have come to liberate you from repressive regimes, and return ownership of all Earth assets to their rightful owners - the masses.

"We will try to minimise any cholateral damage, but some loss of innocent life is to be expected.

"The United Galaxies is reviewing bids from all Galaxial corporations regarding the management of all earth resources for the benefit of its peoples."

Er, sound familiar!? :wink:

[SKY]

"Can you hear me now?"

[cable]

AND .............

"Yoda, Jar Jar Binks et al .... are not TRUE aliens .... "
"we travelled at superliminal speed .... "
"where is .... the Bad Astronomer ??? "
"what is the web address of ... badastronomy.com ?? "

8) 8)

[gethen]

"O.K. Everybody remember, we're parked in lot D."

[traztx]

"KLATU BARADA NIKTO"

"Arthur Dent? You're a jerk! A complete kneebiter."