We're all doomed. (Again.)

[Wolverine]

I'm surprised nobody's posted about this wacky press release that hit the wires yesterday.

Eric Julien, a former French military air traffic controller and senior airport manager, has completed a study of the comet 73P Schwassmann-Wachmann and declared that a fragment is highly likely to impact the Earth on or around May 25, 2006.

Julien claims that the comet's fragmentation isn't natural, but caused by extraterrestrials who are apparently displeased with our stockpiling of nuclear weapons, so they allegedly broke the comet apart to use it as a weapon with the intention of a fragment (or more) impacting the Earth as a "public warning." What's the source of this information, you ask? Why, a vision Julien had while meditating, based upon "information" contained in a crop circle that appeared in 1995 (see images at right, on this page). The Earth is conspicuously absent in that crop circle, which can only have one logical consequence: the extinction of life on Earth.

Using NASA simulations of the comet's path, Julien concludes that impact is likely around May 25 precisely when the comet crosses the Earth's ecliptic plane.

Heh. Translation, he looked at a Java applet roughly illustrating 73P-3B's ephemeris on JPL's NEO program page. Despite all observations indicating these cometary bits will pass though our planetary neighborhood at distances spanning 22-32 LD from Earth, Julien maintains that there are unseen fragments which surely pose a grave impact threat to civilization. And what evidence does Julien base this upon?

I received on April 7, 2006 a telepathic message from extraterrestrial friends. According to them, a méga-tsunami in the Atlantic Ocean I had experienced in a lucid dream three years ago, would occur around MAY 25, 2006.

Okay... so why is this just surfacing now, you ask? Easy: the aliens want to prevent us from launching a nuclear strike on Iran. And the government, of course, is covering everything up. Whee...

As Julien notes in the accompanying paper on his website:

The message here cannot be more clear!

I couldn't agree more, but the forum rules prevent me from spelling it out.

[Laguna]

Should we introduce him to Nancy?
They seem to have a lot in common.

[Wolverine]

Perhaps they've already met via the aliens.

[Sigma_Orionis]

Let me guess, and on the 26th of May he will claim that the "aliens" took pity on us or that he managed to dissuade them......

[Laguna]

No, on 26th he will tell us, that all was a white lie...

[Sigma_Orionis]

Now, where have I heard THAT before?

[Anla'Shok]

So let me get this straight... Aliens who are upset with us stockpiling nukes that we might use to annihilate ourselves are going to use a piece of a comet to annihilate us? Mean bunch of SOBs. We are obviously dealing with an advanced race here. They are spending a great deal of energy to break apart and guide a comet to use as a weapon instead of just coming down and getting their hands (paws, claws, tentacles ... whatever) dirty and wipe us out. A little cowardly also.

[Wolverine]

So let me get this straight... Aliens who are upset with us stockpiling nukes that we might use to annihilate ourselves are going to use a piece of a comet to annihilate us?

Well, according to Julien, they "supervise us like neurotic children." Apparently they're advanced enough to hold some sort of interplanetary carte blanche allowing for such activities.

If the aliens really had a beef with our weapons proliferation and are already visiting here, why not just drop by the UN? Seems a better way to get the point across than to mow a nebulous pattern in a field or telepathically contact one person (let alone the cometary chicanery).

[Tensor]

If the aliens really had a beef with our weapons proliferation and are already visiting here, why not just drop by the UN? Seems a better way to get the point across than to mow a nebulous pattern in a field or telepathically contact one person (let alone the cometary chicanery).

Well, obviously, if they did that, then we would know we were being watched.

[Hamlet]

Well, according to Julien, they "supervise us like neurotic children." Apparently they're advanced enough to hold some sort of interplanetary carte blanche allowing for such activities.

If the aliens really had a beef with our weapons proliferation and are already visiting here, why not just drop by the UN? Seems a better way to get the point across than to mow a nebulous pattern in a field or telepathically contact one person (let alone the cometary chicanery).

Yes, or land on the mall in Washington, D.C. We should at least get a stern warning from Klaatu and Gort before they obliterate us.

[Wolverine]

I, for one, welcome our new comet-slinging overlords.

(It had to be said.)

[Maksutov]

Gort! 73P Schwassmann-Wachmann barada nikto!

OK, that takes care of May 25th. Next?

BTW, I'm definitely glad this person is a former French military air traffic controller and senior airport manager.

[Cl1mh4224rd]

. . .they allegedly broke the comet apart to use it as a weapon with the intention of a fragment (or more) impacting the Earth as a "public warning." . . .The Earth is conspicuously absent in that crop circle, which can only have one logical consequence: the extinction of life on Earth.

Geez! Total extinction seems rather excessive as a warning...

Okay... so why is this just surfacing now, you ask? Easy: the aliens want to prevent us from launching a nuclear strike on Iran. And the government, of course, is covering everything up. Whee...

Well, of course! As the government of a country whose majority practices some form of Christianity, you wouldn't want it to be revealed that, not only is there a highly advanced civilization out there (who have chosen to end life on Earth through means that would appear to be perfectly natural), but that they also have a soft spot for followers of Allah... would you?

[Gillianren]

Well, according to Julien, they "supervise us like neurotic children." Apparently they're advanced enough to hold some sort of interplanetary carte blanche allowing for such activities.

Boy, am I glad my mother didn't handle her neurotic child that way. If she did, I wouldn't be here to talk to you!

[Swift]

Geez! Total extinction seems rather excessive as a warning...

Wow, imagine what they'll do if we don't listen to their warning.

I carefully examined the cropcircle and noticed a whole bunch of things were not shown. For example, there were no bunnies or parrots shown, I suspect they will be among the species destroyed by the comet.

I also notice that the planets that are shown are about the same size as the sun, so I suspect that the aliens are also going to shrink the sun, probably by washing it in hot water.

Really, it all is very clear to me now.

[BertL]

Let's get back to this in a month from now and laugh at that French guy.

[Donnie B.]

I think I may beat the rush and start laughing at him now.

[Donnie B.]

From the site linked from the Newswire article,
http://www.exopoliticsinstitute.org/EricJulien-En.htm

While a military air traffic controller at Reims Air Base, France, he tracked a UFO travelling at 15,000 knots/hr.

Okay, that right there tells us something about the scientific literacy of the Exopolitics Institute.

[Van Rijn]

If the aliens really had a beef with our weapons proliferation and are already visiting here, why not just drop by the UN? Seems a better way to get the point across than to mow a nebulous pattern in a field or telepathically contact one person (let alone the cometary chicanery).

Well, sure, that sounds reasonable, but you can't expect aliens to think like us! In their culture, probably all communication is done through either telepathy, crop circles, or hitting people on the head with comets.

[Superluminal]

I wonder what he would say if, just by coincidence, a large meteorite were to impact in Iran? They are the ones who need a warning from above.

[Wolverine]

Well, sure, that sounds reasonable, but you can't expect aliens to think like us! In their culture, probably all communication is done through either telepathy, crop circles, or hitting people on the head with comets.

Well dang. There's my anthropocentric bias again.

BTW, I missed this little gem on my initial perusal:

Consequently, vis-a-vis the nuclear armada created by humanity, vis-a-vis the laser program of directed energy weapons, certain ‘star visitors’ have taken "convincing" measures and decided on the use of a first public warning for MAY 25, 2006, a few weeks before the launching of the nuclear offensive against Iran, involving an escalating potential for planetary atomic war which, I point out it, would destroy whole or part of the planes of existence, invisible in our eyes, where the ‘star visitors’ live.

That sure clears things up. I just can't help it... I've been giggling at this all day.

[ZappBrannigan]

I don't know... I think TPTB are taking this more seriously than we realize:

Has anyone seen Bruce Willis lately? No? Hmmm...

[Van Rijn]

You could have a point, Zapp. As I mentioned here:

http://www.bautforum.com/showpost.ph...3&postcount=13

California has been struck by the second ice chunk from the air within just a few days! A sign of things to come?

[ktesibios]

You could have a point, Zapp. As I mentioned here:

http://www.bautforum.com/showpost.ph...3&postcount=13

California has been struck by the second ice chunk from the air within just a few days! A sign of things to come?

As long as it isn't more @#$% rain...

[Blob]

hum,
i calculate that most of the boulders will only get as close as 12 lunar distances away.

However this does not rule out the scenario that out gassings or fragmented boulder impacts will nudge a few rocks towards the earth to burn up in our atmosphere.

This time round it is unlikely to be any spectacular bolides from this comet.
In future returns they may.

http://www.bautforum.com/another thread.html

[Glom]

Julien claims that the comet's fragmentation isn't natural, but caused by extraterrestrials who are apparently displeased with our stockpiling of nuclear weapons, so they allegedly broke the comet apart to use it as a weapon with the intention of a fragment (or more) impacting the Earth as a "public warning."

A liberal doomsayer? That's a twist.

Can the tsunamis happen in the Atlantic? It is a constructive plate boundary.

[OptimusShr]

Perhaps they've already met via the aliens.

Like an intergalactic dating sevice?

Sorry, I had to say it

[vonmazur]

Does he explain cattle mutilations and the mothman too???

Dale

[Sigma_Orionis]

I also notice that the planets that are shown are about the same size as the sun, so I suspect that the aliens are also going to shrink the sun, probably by washing it in hot water.

Really, it all is very clear to me now.

You mean the sun is NOT made of pre-shrunk fabric? I wanna talk to Slartibartfast, the warranty was supposed to last 9500 million years BEFORE it shrank! These Magrathea people are becoming more irresponsible everytime!, THEY ARE GONNA HEAR FROM MY LAWYER! I WANNA TALK TO THE MANAGER!



Editted for spelling

[Count Zero]

Well, sure, that soundsIn their culture, probably all communication is done through . . . hitting people on the head with comets.

Great. Now in my dreams I see a cosmic version of Monty Python's "fish-slapping dance"...