G4 Twist the knife

[buffalodavid]

Once apon a time there was something called Tech TV. Okay, it had a puppet show, but even that had something to do with Technology.

Then they became G4. And the world was a sadder place.

They started showing reruns of "The Man Show"

After that knife in our backs, they've decided to twist it. They are going to feature "Triumph, the Insult Dog" starting later this month. Ironically, a puppet show.

[Dragon Star]

I like you already

[LurchGS]

yeah, man that I am, I'm still offended by The Man Show. Even "Unscrewed" was difficult to take. X-Play and G4 are about all that's tolerable any more. Occasionally Anime Unleashed..

[ToSeek]

Their "subtitled" version of Thunderbirds was awesome.

A number of cable channels aren't what they used to be - A&E seemed to go down the tubes almost overnight.

[farmerjumperdon]

The Man Show, "Unscrewed", X-Play, and G4. Never heard of these, but it sounds like an assortment of porn.

[Doodler]

Their "subtitled" version of Thunderbirds was awesome.

A number of cable channels aren't what they used to be - A&E seemed to go down the tubes almost overnight.

Yeah, the fallopian tubes... If they were any more blatant in their pandering to women, they'd change their name to Angst & Estrogen.

Of course, we paid them back with the transformation of the HeeHaw Network to the Ragin' Hormones Network.

[farmerjumperdon]

Those must be parody-names for real channels - either that or things have gotten worse than I expected.

My wife does watch one of those kinds of channels. She watches Lifetime, which I at times call the Women in Crisis Network. Who would have ever guessed there were enough movies about women being victimized, stalked, kidnapped, abused, etc. to give the genre it's own channel?

And the plots are so similar you can predict the movies to an amazing level of specificity. What I find most amazing is that there seems to be a small group of about a dozen actors and actresses that make all the movies that end up on this channel.

I can walk in the room and immediately tell who the good guys are and who the bad guys are; and whether the movie is still in the victim stage, the resolved-to-overcome-this-myself-because-the-local-sherriff-is-in-it-or-too-stupid-to-help stage, or approaching the happy ending (woman is now strong) stage.

[Vaelroth]

Most of the movies on Lifetime and Oxygen (the even more feminist version of Lifetime) are done by the same actors and actresses because they're usually produced by the network itself. Most of the movies are marketed as "Lifetime Originals".

The only reason I know this is because they're starting to show some of the Lifetime movies in High Schools throughout the U.S. as part of the Health curriculum. I just wish they'd show the movie Thirteen and be done with it 'cause that covers most of the things that health classes include.

[weatherc]

...She watches Lifetime, which I at times call the Women in Crisis Network...

I call it the Men are EVIL channel, myself, but I like Women in Crisis Network.

[Doodler]

Those must be parody-names for real channels - either that or things have gotten worse than I expected.

Heehaw Network = The Nashville Network
Ragin' Hormones Network = Spike TV

[farmerjumperdon]

I call it the Men are EVIL channel, myself, but I like Women in Crisis Network.

Same thing, right. I mean, men are the root cause of all womens' crisis.

I make that assumption because it seems I can immediately diffuse most any crisis by simply accepting blame.

[weatherc]

Same thing, right. I mean, men are the root cause of all womens' crisis.

I make that assumption because it seems I can immediately diffuse most any crisis by simply accepting blame.

It brings to mind the ancient question: "If a man speaks in a forest and no woman can hear him, is he still wrong?"

[Doodler]

Same thing, right. I mean, men are the root cause of all womens' crisis.

I make that assumption because it seems I can immediately diffuse most any crisis by simply accepting blame.

I'm sorry, sir, another infraction like that and I'll have to confiscate your man card...

[weatherc]

I'm sorry, sir, another infraction like that and I'll have to confiscate your man card...

I have to assume from this comment that you're single (but I could be wrong).

They confiscate your man card as soon as you sign the marriage license.

[Doodler]

I have to assume from this comment that you're single (but I could be wrong).

They confiscate your man card as soon as you sign the marriage license.

Yeah, still single.

[Swift]

Well, G4 does show ST:NG at night and some of the programs on gaming are pretty good. The woman who is the host for their program Cheat is pretty cute.

I don't think there exists a TV network or channel that I like all the shows - heck, most of them I dislike more than 50%.

[Tinaa]

I make that assumption because it seems I can immediately diffuse most any crisis by simply accepting blame.

Because it(what ever it is) was all YOUR fault! It has taken me years to get my husband trained.

It brings to mind the ancient question: "If a man speaks in a forest and no woman can hear him, is he still wrong?"

YES!

Gentlemen, I never watch those "woman" channels. I do watch quite a bit of SpikeTV.

Do I now have to give up my woman card, because you can have it!

[farmerjumperdon]

Takes more than watching Spike TV. If you read and concur with the following rules, then you get get an honorary man card:

The Rules . . . This time by Men!

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note ... they are all number 1 ON PURPOSE!

1 - Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us crabbing about you leaving it down.

1 - Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present, . . . again!

1 - Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1 - Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

1 - Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1 - Crying is blackmail.

1 - Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1 - We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

1 - Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

1 - "Yes" and "no" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1 - Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1 - A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1 - Check your oil! Please.

1 - Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1 - If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret models, don't expect us to be like Chippendale’s guys.

1 - If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.

1 - If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1 - Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

1 - You can either ask us how to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1 - Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1 - Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

1 - The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

1 - ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1 - If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1 - We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

1 - If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1 - If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1 - When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. . . .really.

1 - Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, power tools, 2 versus 4 wheel drive, etc.

1 - You have enough clothes.

1 - You have too many shoes.

1 - It is in neither your best interest nor ours to take a quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

1 - I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.

1 - Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that? It's like camping.

I have the most issues with numbers 1, 1, and 1.

[farmerjumperdon]

One more, just for fun, while we're on the topic:

Husband-Mart

The Husband Shopping Center has just opened. A woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is comprised of six floors, and the attributes of the men change as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building. So, a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1
These men have jobs.

The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes. The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2
These men have jobs and love kids.

The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes again. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3
These men have jobs, love kids,
and are extremely good looking.

“Hmmm, better" she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?" The fourth floor sign reads:

Floor 4
These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking,
and help with the housework.

"Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!" And again she heads up another flight. The fifth floor sign reads:

Floor 5
These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking,
help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak.

"Oh, mercy me! But just think... what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor she goes. The sixth floor sign reads:

Floor 6
You are visitor 2,138,470,292 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor.
This floor exists solely as proof that
women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at Husband-Mart. Have a nice day.

[Tinaa]

Too funny. I agree with most of the rules, especially #1. Though checking my own oil is asking a bit much. That is why there are still full service gas stations!

And crying is NOT blackmail...it IS a tool, like a crow bar.

[Swift]

I've seen the rules before, but they are always a laugh (because they are so true). I particularly like..

- Learn to work the toilet seat.
- Ask for what you want. Just say it!
- If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
- Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
- ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
- If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
- We are not mind readers and we never will be.

You would think, like a new government regulation, that once the rules have been posted for 90 days and the comment period is over, that they would become binding, unless overturned by Congress or a Federal Court.
( As if).

[ToSeek]

1 - Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us crabbing about you leaving it down.

I'm obliged to put the toilet cover down, but that's more to keep the cats from falling in than for her benefit. Interestingly, one of our female friends never fails to leave the toilet cover up when visiting.

1 - Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

I like short hair on women - in some cases, at least.

1 - Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

My sister-in-law was opening presents from my brother, and it was like, "Thank you for buying me this item that I specifically pointed out to you in the store." I guess it works for them.