Bad Sequels game

[Staiduk]

'Lo all!

I was reading Dr. Plait's lambaste of Armageddon again and just for fun drifted over to the Imdb to see what was said in that film's Imdb message board.

You...can imagine.

Anywhich; I took the liberty of responding to someone who thought there should be a sequel to that piece of...film... and while doing so thought up a fun game we could play: Bad Sequels.

The idea: Ideally; a sequel should in some way enhance the original film. In the case of a Truly Bad Movie; the only way that could happen is for the sequel to be an even worse movie.

I'll start with Armageddon and invent a sequel for it. At the bottom, I'll post another Bad Movie for the next contestant to sequelize. And so on and so on and so on....

Armageddon 2: The Rock's Revenge
After flying harmlessly by Earth; the two sides of the asteroid get caught in the planet's magnetic field. It is an iron asteroid, after all.
Magnetism causes the two parts to curve around and come back to threaten Earth again. This time; the two halves will loop around the Earth in opposite directions and slam together on the flat sides (created by the explosion) in low Earth orbit.

Right over Los Angeles, of course.

Half the Earth's population dies of the Clap.


Next film: the Core

[Wolverine]

This time; the two halves will loop around the Earth in opposite directions and slam together on the flat sides (created by the explosion) in low Earth orbit.

Right over Los Angeles, of course.

Half the Earth's population dies of the Clap.


Next film: the Core

Sorry for breaking the rules right out of the gate, but I can't resist the opportunity to kill two birds with one stone.

Have the Armageddon 2 rock impact The Core 2 cast right as Hillary Swank & Aaron Eckhardt get rescued.

"Whew! We did it! We saved Earth! Yay!"
...
"Oh.... @#$%!"

SPLAT.

Then the resulting tsunami could still wipe out LA. Inexpensive production, flick's over in 2 minutes. Justice done.

Anyway, ignore my rulebreaking... so sorry...

[Carnifex]

And than Stan and Kyle come in.

(silently)
- You sure there was Kenny?
- Well, he had to be there...
(loudly)
- Oh my god, they killed Kenny!
- You, ********!!!

[Nicolas]

NOt going into it being a good or a bad movie, make a sequel to Apollo 13

[Fram]

After leaving the set, the astronauts go home, only to find that the "we went to the moon" conspiracy is all over the press. To shut them up, this time they will have to do it ... for real!

Next up: The Sound of Music

[Nicolas]

Take "the Osbournes real life", insert "supernanny" et voila!

Next:

Mars Attacks

[Matherly]

Venus Attacks

After being soundly defeated, the Martians regroup with new anti-yodleing (is that what you'd call that music???) technology and launch another attack on Earth. However, Earth AND Mars are set upon by the Venusians and Earthers and Martians must band together to face this diabloical threat.

Next up: Godlizlla (American version, Not Man-in-a-Suit versions)

[Lianachan]

Godzilla 2

The Loch Ness Monster has learned of the demise of her cousin Godzilla, and swims to California to seek revenge. San Francisco saved by an ex-pat Scot, and lousy father, who leads it out to sea following the sounds of his bagpiping while bonding with his previously estranged son.

Next up: Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King

[Fram]

Aragorn thinks that Gondor is finally safe and he and Arwen will start enjoying life, when a giant ape enters the country, climbs the two towers, and takes away all the fair maidens, including Eowyn.
This one is logically called The Return of the Kong...

Next up: Million Dollar Baby

[Nicolas]

It grows up, but then the stock market crashes. It ends up as the 50 cent man, who finally gets rich by being shot 9 times and becoming a rap star.

Next: The Truman Show

[Moose]

Million Dollar Cry Baby: Oprah's Parisian Shopping Adventure

It's a documentary.


Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey

[Edit: Dang! Beat me to it.]

2nd Try:

The Truman Show 2: The Glass Bowl

Jim Carrey is abducted and placed inside a large plexiglass aquarium. The hollywood producers make no pretense whatsoever of attempting to fool Carrey about his situation. The movie grosses only five million, but since they filmed it using a handicam on a tripod, the film is viewed as a box office success.

Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey