Mine's Armageddon! :x
Mine's Armageddon! :x
"Wing Commander". The only movie I ever walked out of and demanded my money back.
"Armageddon" is not bad for laughs. Best way to watch it -- take a shot of vodka every time you see something impossible. You won't last the entire movie!
Definitely Wing Commander. What a stinker.Originally Posted by Ilya
Armageddon is a masterpeice compared to Stranded
Seriously. A friend of mine actually clawed his own eyes out because of this movie. I once saw a hazmat team go into a Best Buy to remove the movie from the shelves. People were passing out in the isles
Let me just give a quick synopsis of what I remember from Stranded. You have to understand though, that I saw it years ago and I've been through a lot of therapy since then.
I team of astronauts go to Mars. Something happens to the lander. The person in charge says, "well, let's try to fix it." There is a whinny, snotty little scientist on board who squeals something to the effect of, "YOU CAN'T FIX IT! YOU NEED TO ACCEPT THAT WE ARE STRANDED HERE AND WE'RE GOING TO DIE!!!!11oneone"
Then they get an air leak. The person in charge suggests, "let's try to fix it." The snotty scientist guy says, "YOU CAN'T FIX IT! WE'VE ALREADY LOST TOO MUCH AIR. WE'RE GOING TO DIE!"
So, they decide to leave the ship and use their remaining time to explore. The scientist guy and a female crew member stay aboard the lander to wait for the air to run out. The scientist guy looks over at the girl and says, "so, do you want to have sex?"
No seriously. That's the whole movie.
I've mentioned it before, but my pick is the recent movie called "The Time Machine." Terrible science, bad acting, but worse - far worse - they DARED call this thing a "remake" or "based on the work of H. G. Wells." It was about a time machine. That and a few terms were about the only things I could recognize from the story. NONE of the comments that Wells made about war (there wasn't any here) or the human condition made it to this movie.
On "Wing Commander": I'm sure I'd have a different opinion if I hadn't loved the games, but I liked this movie. Sure, the science was insane and Angel is supposed to be French, but I had fun with it. The science isn't exactly top notch in the games, either.
Wing Commander is 3/5. Disappointing maybe. But there is far far worse.
Mission to Mars
Escape from LA
You've got to categorize by budget too; I've got a couple of those 10-movie DVD bundles for $5 that have sci-fi movies so bad that I have to use a DVD lens cleaner after watching one. At least Armageddon was not shot on damaged film stock with the writer-direct-producer's girlfriend cast as the lead role.
The current version of Time Machine is indeed really bad. I've never read the book but I've heard it's fantastic.
In the movie, the protagonist ends up going 800 000 years into the future and talks with the leader, who somehow recalls what happened on earth 800000 years ago.
Ummm...we don't really know what happened 200 years ago...
Go look it up on Project Gutenberg - it's in the public domain, so you can read it online for free.Originally Posted by peter eldergill
In the book the protagonist (who is only called "the time traveller") has to guess what has happened over the last 800,000 years, and he admits his guess could be wrong (and that his earlier guesses definitely are wrong). No one in that distant future speaks English, of course. The Eloi wouldn't know their history anyway, and the Morlocks don't seem interested in communication.
The manure pile of stinky bad scifi movies is way too high for anyone to see which rest on top but I would toss most of the Star Trek movies as high as I could throw on that pile. Along with Cocoon, ET, and yea I think Solaris sucks too.
I don't know if the whole movie was bad, but the only movie I've walked out of was No Blade of Grass"!
I should have run out of Tank Girl. Now THERE'S 100 or so minutes I am still mourning over.
"In the nightgown of the sullen moon, How the windows lean into the room, In the nightgown of the sullen moon."
-They Might Be Giants
And let me get this off my chest too please. 99.98% of all the movies on the SciFi Channel suck so why o why do I still watch them? If you want to improve a movie one way is to listen to it in a different language. I had a chance to watch The Outlaw Josey Wales in Japanese one time and hearing Clint Eastwood expounding like a samarai was interesting.
Just how bad are we looking for, here? Does the Super Mario Bros. movie count as sci-fi?
I saw part of Johnny Mnemonic the other day. That was a real stinker.
Dark Star doesn't count, right? It was good, wasn't it?
"Sgt. Pinback calling bomb #19. Do you read me, bomb?"
It could have been tolerable, I suppose, but the rubber bobo dolls (what they call Kilrathi*) bring it down two points. Them "plowing" Grace Jones (or was that Pink?) off the ship to clear the flight deck is one thing, but not making any sort of attempt to launch a rescue craft to retrieve the pilot brings it down another two points.Originally Posted by Charly
I mean, come on! A zero-G environment where she obviously wasn't venting atmosphere? Just nudge it free from the ship, then get something close to it, and have zero-G crewers cut her out of the cockpit. This could have been done independantly of the urgent flight-ops she had to be sacrificed for (and they weren't so urgent, by my recollection, that taking ten minutes to cut her free on the flight deck would have been out of the question.
Even if a rescue wasn't possible and she had to be sacrificed, surely they could have retrieved her body for proper burial?
You're right about the "disappointing", though. I disagree about the "something far far worse". If there is such a thing, it's not on your list, and those are indeed pretty bad.
* They'd have been better off with the puppets from the games. Rrah!
Ooh! Which one was this?Originally Posted by Demigrog
Johny Mnemonic. Absolutely awful.
Wing Commander. Most boring movie I have ever seen.
Waterworld. Terrible science, terrible acting, etc.
The Abyss. That is the exact opposite of hard scifi.
Chicken Park - Like Jurassic park, only with chickens, and much much worse.
Independence Day - So incredibly stupid. The final straw is the President's independence day speech. This movie will lower your intelligence.
Armageddon - If I ever meet Michael Bay I'm gonna give him a good talking too. If he does get the directors job for the Transformers movie i will cry.
Species - Hello! Plot! Where are you?
Critters 2 - At least the first one was fun. Haven't dared tried the sequels.
Planet of the Apes Tim Burton remake - Awful, and from such a good director. They figured out what made the original so good and threw it all away.
Congo - Best is the "making of" documentary where they talk about how "realistic" the apes are.
Highlander 2 - Could have made a good movie if not part of the highlander series, and with a different director - hell, different crew altogether.
Robocop 3 - Almost pissed myself laughing. Ninja robots! Frank Miller should stick to comic books and not movie scripts.
Superman IV - Does this count as sci-fi? It was awful anyway.
Well, Robot Monster is AWFUL, but its so bad its almost redundant to even mention it, like Plan 9 From Outer Space.
There are PLENTY of good ones that I saw on MST3K.
Alien From L.A. or something like that was this AWFUL piece of.....well, it wasn't good. It was about a young girl played by Kathy Ireland who lived in L.A., who one day, somehow, discovers shes from Atlantis, which is deep under the Earth, and if I recall correctly, she discovers by falling through a hole that opens up on the beach or something.
I like most Godzilla movies, but some aren't too great, and most G-Fans tend to regard Revenge of Godzilla as the worst among them. The plot? A young japanese schoolboy is bullied by mean kids, so in his imagination he goes to monster island and visits Godzillas son, who is also being bullied, and his father is trying to get him to stand up fopr himself. I once told a friend of mine the plot, in a much shorter summary; A kid who is bullied goes ot see Godzilla who teaches him to stand up for himself. Yeah.....
Killer Klowns From Outer Space is delightfully bad.
Before I forget about Godzilla, I also count the American Godzilla film as one of the worst of that francise as well.
Ice Pirates is an obscure piece of 80s trash that was trying to be satirical, but often ends with audiences laughing at it, rather than with it. Though it does have some neet vehicles on the desert planet. ^_~
Armageddon WAS pretty awful, yes.
If a Doom, Quake, Duke Nukem, or any shooter is made into a film, it would have a lot of potential to be really really bad.
I LOVE MST3K!
no way! I am Roman. You are Human. I must, and yet I cannot. I cannot and yet I must! hehe, that's classic!Originally Posted by kittynboi
yeah! With Kathy Ireland. Crow sings that song, "oh cathy cathy, my irish lassy"Alien From L.A.
A late 1970's Christoper Lee movie, "The End Of The World" where they blow-up a paper mache' globe of the Earth. It was pretty low budget.
I'm watching a scene with Mr. Lee, and something is troubling me about it, eventually I realize what it is. In the background, in the middle of the screen, out in the open is one of those light reflectors that they use to redirect sunlight for the camera.
Anyone seen FRANKENFISH.???
Promise me one thing....DONT!!!
Pitch black is one of the most unscientific movies i have ever seen thats got a large buget, has the program copleatly ingores basic science.
The movie itself isn't that bad but the many scientific mistakes cancel it out.
A bit off-topic.Originally Posted by DukePaul
For people like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jean-Claude Van Damme and Steven Seagal, being dubbed is a blessing.
Proper voice-acting makes their performances more acceptable (and I emphasize "more", not "acceptable").