This was linked on airliners.net.
They may be myths, but they are lovely stories. The one about the South African women is particularly nice and the one about the gay F/A is really funny.
Insert awesome title here
This was linked on airliners.net.
They may be myths, but they are lovely stories. The one about the South African women is particularly nice and the one about the gay F/A is really funny.
Banned
It's got to be United. It's just got to be United.Originally Posted by Glom
Vulcan Administrator
Many years ago I was in Chicago and had a flight (American, Candy, not United) repeatedly delayed and then cancelled on me due to equipment problems. We all got in line to arrange for a transfer to a United flight, and the guy immediately in front of me announced that he ABSOLUTELY HAD TO get to Baltimore for a VERY IMPORTANT MEETING with Senator Lloyd Bentsen at (time that would have required flying an SR-71 to make). The agent somehow managed to mollify him. Then we had to hike from the American gate to the United gate, which I think were the two farthest separated points in O'Hare airport. Then we got in line there. The same guy was right in front of me again, demanding a first-class seat.
Everything I need to know I learned through Googling.
Banned
When I first started at United, I did Reservations.
I have a ton of stories.
One that sticks out is one of the many perverts that call into Reservations, this particular one we call Peter Pan the Panty Man.
Well, he's starts in with his usual verbiage. I stopped him, and said, "Sir, you do know that you are talking to a man?" He said, "That's okay."
EWWWWWWWWWWW!
I released the call.
EWWWWWWWWWWW!
Now, I have the ability to track pervert callers and block them from calling United.
Order of Kilopi
Well, after all it's called "United"
Banned
After you book a reservation or purchase a ticket, you get a reservation number. We call them PNR's.
I gave this gentleman his PNR. It was something like VD1234. So he repeats it back to me....
"Ok, let me get this straight, I have V-D-"
I stopped him in mid-sentence, and said, "that's sounds like a personal problem, sir."
It took him a second, but he then started laughing.
Oh, the trouble I used to get into. Oh wait, I still do!
Banned
If I really liked the caller, I would send them a personal postcard from me. It got kind of expensive after a while, so my co-workers would donate postcards to me.Well, after all it's called "United"
I kind of miss those days of really making a difference with the customer. I wish I could teach good customer service to employees. It really does go a long way. 8)
Bad Post-Doc
having worked in phone service before, I can tell you that the company I worked for didn't care about good customer service. I took credit card applications by phone, and just before I was fired (long story), we got this huge list of things we weren't allowed to say to customers anymore. the whole point is to get the call over as fast as possible and get the sale.
that said, while I was there, I had quite a few people who really liked me after they called in--like the very nice lady to whom I gave a basic economics lesson, and the lady from the Tennessee DMV w/whom I was on the phone for an hour one fine Labor Day.
_____________________________________________
Gillian
"Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"
"You can't erase icing."
"I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"
Order of Kilopi
Rats. I thought these were going to be scary airplane stories. You know, brushes with death, barrel rols, and the like.
Oh well.
Order of Kilopi
I still get a kick out of the story about an older British Airways pilot back in the 70's who was getting grief from the tower controllers in Frankfurt, Germany. When they sarcastically asked him if he'd ever flown into Frankfurt before because he didn't immediately know where his gate was, he calmly replied that he'd flown in many times back in the 40's as an RAF pilot, but never stopped to land.
Order of Kilopi
I love the following story (which appeared in an airplane book in the eighties):
In military pilot school, the trainees used to fly in a twin seater propelor craft. Teacher and student couldn't really see what they were doing. The engine noise made communication rather difficult.
One day, when returning from a training flight, the trainee heard the pilot saying during the final leg: "I'll take it from here, just to put it safely down". So the trainee relaxed and let go of all controls. The plane nicely flared out and made a soft landing. "OK taxi and engine shutdown sequence" the teacher said. So the trainee taxied off and shut down the plane. When they got out of the plane, the pilot congratulated the trainee on such a nice landing.
The trainee had misunderstood the teacher, and nobody was touching any controls during landing. The plane happened to have the right attitude when the trainee let go of the controls. As the plane was a stable and forgiving model (I forgot the type, but I could look it up) all went just fine. The trainee never dared to tell the teacher.
Established Member
Ok...here's one from a past experience on SouthWest airlines flying between who knows where and Dallas Love.
There was a line of thunderstorms between our origination and Dallas and the captain picked the route of least resistance - unfortunately, it was still bad. As the airplane did a lovely few thousand feet down in a couple of seconds the cabin became very quiet - most were gripping the armrests for dear life.
Out of no where comes "WEEEEEEEEEEEE" with each drop in altitude - obviously, one of the younger passengers was having the time of his life.
Insert awesome title here
My favourite is:
"TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees."
"Centre, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"
"Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"
Banned
Colo. Man Charged With Rampage on Flight
A man denied alcohol during a United Airlines flight went on a rampage, breaking tray tables and other equipment, the FBI said Wednesday.
Established Member
I love watching "Airplane" on the A&E Channel, it's an offshoot of a similar series from Britian, but here it focuses on Southwest. Often it shows people who are (1) quite unhappy and (2) absolutely clueless as totheir rights, since they never have read the conditions of carriage fineprint (I have, I suggest you all do at least once in your lives to see how very few rights you have as a passenger).
Actually, I've come to admire the airline personnel who have to put up with the boorish behavior..
Which reminds me of one Southwest flight where some guy about 10 rows in front of me (probably drunk) roughly grabbed a stewardess. When I exited the plane at my destination, the guy was sitting handcuffed and flanked by two cops and looking very sorry for himself.
Never ever mess with a Stewardess or Pilot--they have radios and the cops will be waiting at the gate.
Order of Kilopi
And certainly since 9/11, there may be a rather direct reaction from the other passengers...
Banned
Famous last words, "Let's Roll!"And certainly since 9/11, there may be a rather direct reaction from the other passengers...
Established Member
I also have great sympathy for the flight attendants who take the long haul to Australia - for anyone who hasn't done it, it is a horrendously long flight from virtually anywhere in the world except New Zealand. In my role with Customs I quite often I deal with the flight crews (we process them through quickly in a separate section) and having had much experience with drunk/ clueless/ tired/ brainless passengers myself, I can only congratulate the attendants on not strangling half of their passengers before touchdown!
Order of Kilopi
It ain't no more horrible than most any other job. If it is so terrible, get a different job. I do not have any more or less sympathy for the airline industry or the people in it than I do for anyone else. Everybody has their sob story; wah, wah, wah.
And the wrath the industry incurs is well founded. The fine print mentioned proves my point. If you do read the fine print (I became extremely familiar with it at one point as the result of getting totally and completely ripped off by Northworst Airlines), you basically have no rights or recourse whatsoever no matter how thoroughly, how often, or how blatantly they screw up.
But we're supposed to be so grateful when they do throw us a bone to make up for one of their incredibly insipid blunders or outright lies.
Banned
Order of Kilopi
"LOVELY" airoplane stories 8-[
Banned
During the midnight shift, there was a French ATC Strike BREST Airspace. I called OPB (Operational Base), and asked him a few questions. He said our 1st flight was 1 minute late, our second flight was on-time, and our third flight was 1 hour late leaving San Franiciso to France. I asked him if he could tell me what the airspace was called again. :wink:
He said it was BREST Airspace. I said what? He said BREST Airspace. I said, I'm sorry, can you repeat that one more time. He finally caught onto my devilishness and started laughing.
Banned
Is my French ATC Strike story ok?
The French and several South American ATC's have 12-24 hour strikes all the time. When they do this, they only select certain flights. In the case of the latest one, they were targeting their own domestic flights.
Order of Kilopi
Is BREST airspace nicely shaped?Is my French ATC Strike story ok?
Nice story.
Established Member
ToSeeked!
Established Member
Doodlered?ToSeeked!
Banned
Hey cyswxman! Predict me some warm weather!Doodlered?ToSeeked!
I'm going to bed now. I have to get up in a ~few hours to go to work.
You be good now you here? :wink:
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