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Thread: Can't..turn..brain..off!

  1. #1
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    Can't..turn..brain..off!

    Ever see a movie that was so outright absurd you couldn't just turn your brain off and enjoy it? Most of the time, I can just sit back and enjoy a good action flick. But sometimes, I feel like my brain is slowly being destroyed. Among my short list:
    Armageddon
    The Core
    Independence Day
    U-571

    Any others?

  2. #2
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    There really wasn't anything to enjoy in The Core...

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    The Mummy
    League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

    Armageddon would fit too, though I've never actually sat through the whole thing, so I can't be positive.

  4. #4
    I actually quite enjoyed all of those, save for the Core, which I found boring.

    I tend not to worry about judging movies on the merits of their content; they are entertainment, not education, and if anyone tries to learn anything from a movie, then they have a problem to begin with. But I enjoy sitting back and watching a good romp. My only complaints come when the acting is horrid, or the effects (if any) suck the wind. And for THAT, I tend to avoid any film that shows up on the Sci Fi Network and which has been made by the UFO Production Company.

    Probably the *worst* one that I've seen there recently is a lovely little piece of hack called "Raptor Island". Not only was the acting substandard, but the initial effect (a remarkably simple sequence of a plane flying through a thunderstorm) was so horribly done that you not only knew, of course, that you were watching a plastic model getting hit my misted water, but you *believed* that you were, while still in the context of the film. I kept expecting the camera to pull away and reveal that it WAS someone's model, perhaps a plane in a bottle or something.

    Otherwise, I've always enjoyed watching bad movies... or rather,movies that other people label as bad. I liked Armageddon because it was a good science fiction romp, not because I was interested in learning about orbital mechanics or asteroidal and comet impact hazards. I liked ID4 because it was a good romp, not because I was keen to figure out how I could use a single program to connect two totally different (nay, alien!) computer systems.

    Sure, it's fun to nit pick these movies. But to condemn them as total wastes of celluloid? Come on, my energy for that is better saved for things like political correctness, my old home town being turned into a new Aspen, and the administration of my university!

    ...John...

  5. #5
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    For me (obviously):
    Twister
    The Day after Tomorrow
    The Atomic Tornado! :x

  6. #6
    Actually, I do have to amend that little rant of mine.

    I think one's attitude towards movies may also dpeend on one's interests. I am an avid amateur paleontologist, and I have to say that, while I didn't mind the action and effects of the Jurassic Park movies, I still find myself mercilessly nitpicking all three films to the point where my wife refuses to watch them with me.

    ...John...

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by cyswxman
    For me (obviously):
    Twister
    The Day after Tomorrow
    The Atomic Tornado! :x
    Atmoic... tornado? Oh my...

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by John M. Dollan
    Quote Originally Posted by cyswxman
    For me (obviously):
    Twister
    The Day after Tomorrow
    The Atomic Tornado! :x
    Atmoic... tornado? Oh my...
    Have to second cyswxman on that one. They spent a whole movie agonizing over this tornado that might hit a nuclear power plant. Then it misses the plant. And the point was...........?

  9. #9
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    Then there's Atomic Train, only seen the first half and nitpicked the train stuff to death.

    Atomic Twister has sorely tempted me a time or two to see just how bad they portray how the plant operates but then sanity regains control.

    Oh great; thanks guy, now my curiosity has been piqued again. must… resist… temptation… #-o

  10. #10
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    Re: Can't..turn..brain..off!

    Quote Originally Posted by Daryl71
    Ever see a movie that was so outright absurd you couldn't just turn your brain off and enjoy it? Most of the time, I can just sit back and enjoy a good action flick. But sometimes, I feel like my brain is slowly being destroyed. Among my short list:
    Armageddon
    The Core
    Independence Day
    U-571

    Any others?
    The Time Machine -- both versions.

    What was so bad about U-571? Certainly not realistic, but hardly on the level of Armageddon.

    BTW, I oddly enjoy Starship Troopers, a.k.a. Worst Military Tactics Ever. I find it so bad, it is good.

  11. #11
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    What was so bad about U-571? Certainly not realistic, but hardly on the level of Armageddon.
    The entire story was a mobious strip of implausibilites. Just like Armageddon. Not to mention, it used cliches from just about every sub movie ever made.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daryl71
    What was so bad about U-571? Certainly not realistic, but hardly on the level of Armageddon.
    The entire story was a mobious strip of implausibilites. Just like Armageddon.
    I see your point, but Armageddon was a mobius strip of impossibilities -- which is worse. Although I am contradicting my own tag line here...

    Not to mention, it used cliches from just about every sub movie ever made.
    Since I never watched any sub movies before, I was blissfully unaware of the fact.

  13. #13
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    I see your point, but Armageddon was a mobius strip of impossibilities
    In that case then, U-571 was a mobious strip of impossibilities.

    Since I never watched any sub movies before, I was blissfully unaware of the fact.
    Well then, you're missing out on an entire world of non-tripe. There's The Hunt for Red October, Das Boot, The Enemy Below, and Crimson Tide, just to begin with. All way better.

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    K19 was fairly decent.

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    Armageddon for me. But for different reasons. I was raised as an oil-field brat so the whole Petrochem aspect of it was way over the top for me.

    The Day After Tomorrow - OMG what a terrible movie. I managed to make it all the way through but damn...it was just terrrible.

    Independance Day - I really enjoyed this film <shrug>

    Starship Troopers - I liked this one too.

    The Core - Can I have an hour and a half of my life back please?

    Question: Why won't hollywood make (good) movies like out of stories like Ben Bovas' Mars (or moonwar books) or David Brin's Earth?

  16. #16
    Quote Originally Posted by skrap1r0n
    Question: Why won't hollywood make (good) movies like out of stories like Ben Bovas' Mars (or moonwar books) or David Brin's Earth?
    The real question is, do you *want* them to? I'm not so worried about Hollywood screwing up some of the science in order to make the movie appeal to the masses more (remember, movies are about making money for the movie makers and nothing else), but I would be worried about them completely ruining the Grand Tour books. I could see them trying to roll the Moonwars, Mars, and even a couple of others into one big, jumbled flick.

    ...John...

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    Mission to Mars. Buttload of talent utterly wasted on a meaningless plot.

    I knew what to expect from The Day After Tomorrow, so I went in and enjoyed the f/x.

    Armageddon... at least I got to see it at home.

  18. #18
    Quote Originally Posted by Doodler
    Mission to Mars. Buttload of talent utterly wasted on a meaningless plot.
    Was that the one with the rabid robo-cat, or the one where everyone sang Kumbaya at the end?

    Course I watched and bought them both (discount bin, $5 for the DVD's) being the Mars-phile that I am. Heck, I even own the Ghosts of Mars DVD (although that one, I admit, I didn't want until someone *gave* it to me)!

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by John M. Dollan
    Quote Originally Posted by skrap1r0n
    Question: Why won't hollywood make (good) movies like out of stories like Ben Bovas' Mars (or moonwar books) or David Brin's Earth?
    The real question is, do you *want* them to? I'm not so worried about Hollywood screwing up some of the science in order to make the movie appeal to the masses more (remember, movies are about making money for the movie makers and nothing else), but I would be worried about them completely ruining the Grand Tour books. I could see them trying to roll the Moonwars, Mars, and even a couple of others into one big, jumbled flick.

    ...John...
    As far as Bova's series, I probably wouldn't want them to make it. I would much rather see it put together as a series on TV so none of the story would have to be comprimised.

    I would LOVE to see Brin's Earth made into a movie though.

  20. #20
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    My list of movies of "moovies too stupid to enjoy" contains the obvious ones already listed. I'll focus on the ones other people usually like.

    My list, sure to shock:

    - E.T.: Yes, the beloved little alien has a deep, dark place reserved in my Pit-O-SF-Badness just for him. I won't list specifics because I despised just about everything in it.

    - The Day The Earth Stood Still: The archetype of holier-than-thou alien coming to Earth and telling us how to do things all proper like. :-P I'll focus on the scene where the soldier shoots the communication device gift. It's so forced. So go get another one out of the truck and don't blame the species for the actions of a lone man, alienboy. A ring of hundreds of nervous soldiers facing an unprecedented event, you spring your little pop-up device on them, and you get only ONE non-fatal shot? That's pretty good restraint, actually. You *deserved* to be ripped to little shreds by a storm of hot lead. Hey, Klaatu, we survived the Cold War all on our lonesome via courage and human will, and we'll survive the current battle against the current set of exo-toxic memes.

    - Blade Runner: Recently voted as the best SF film by (alleged) scientists. The book threw out everything that made the book interesting. The inclusion of the Voigt-Kampff test was ruind by lack of context. And no sane person needs the sight of Rutger Hauer in his underwear running around hooting.

    Worst recent book adaption: The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen. The Alan Moore graphic novel is a construction of extreme cleverness. How do you screw up a graphic novel adaption? The book *IS* your storyboard. It also illustrates the sexism still in Hollywood. In the book, Mina Harker is the leader of the League, and Quartermain has to be dragged out of an opium den in some dark pit in the Middle East. Oh, but we can't have a woman in charge, especially one with Victorian sensibilities who won't be dressing to tittilate the male teens. :roll:

    What's worse is that the poor film eliminates doing the second book as a sequel where the League battles H.G. Wells' Martians (after the "Martians" are chased off Mars by John Carter, Gulliver and others from classic literature, such as C.S. Lewis' Sorns). The mind weeps at the lost cinematic possibilities.

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by John M. Dollan
    Quote Originally Posted by Doodler
    Mission to Mars. Buttload of talent utterly wasted on a meaningless plot.
    Was that the one with the rabid robo-cat, or the one where everyone sang Kumbaya at the end?

    Course I watched and bought them both (discount bin, $5 for the DVD's) being the Mars-phile that I am. Heck, I even own the Ghosts of Mars DVD (although that one, I admit, I didn't want until someone *gave* it to me)!
    That would be the Gary Sinese Khumbaya version.

  22. #22
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    Well then, you're missing out on an entire world of non-tripe. There's The Hunt for Red October, Das Boot, The Enemy Below, and Crimson Tide, just to begin with. All way better.
    Yellow Submarine!

    There's also We Dive At Dawn, Crash Dive, Operation Pacific, Destination Tokyo, Run Silent Run Deep, The Enemy Below, Up Periscope, Operation Petticoat, Torpedo Run, Gray Lady Down and Torpedo Alley.

    Oh, and 20,000 Leagues Beneath The Sea, which wins the Coolest Sub award. Any sub with a pipe organ and a superstructure specifically designed to ram ships wins by default.


  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheGalaxyTrio
    Well then, you're missing out on an entire world of non-tripe. There's The Hunt for Red October, Das Boot, The Enemy Below, and Crimson Tide, just to begin with. All way better.
    Yellow Submarine! Best. Submarine. Ever. If only for the soundtrack.

    There's also We Dive At Dawn, Crash Dive, Operation Pacific, Destination Tokyo, Run Silent Run Deep, The Enemy Below, Up Periscope, Operation Petticoat, Torpedo Run, Gray Lady Down and Torpedo Alley.

    Oh, and 20,000 Leagues Beneath The Sea, which wins the Coolest Sub award. Any sub with a pipe organ and a superstructure specifically designed to ram ships wins by default.

    Sorry, Down Periscope rules them all. Kelsey Grammar was hysterical.

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by skrap1r0n
    Quote Originally Posted by John M. Dollan
    Quote Originally Posted by skrap1r0n
    Question: Why won't hollywood make (good) movies like out of stories like Ben Bovas' Mars (or moonwar books) or David Brin's Earth?
    The real question is, do you *want* them to? I'm not so worried about Hollywood screwing up some of the science in order to make the movie appeal to the masses more (remember, movies are about making money for the movie makers and nothing else), but I would be worried about them completely ruining the Grand Tour books. I could see them trying to roll the Moonwars, Mars, and even a couple of others into one big, jumbled flick.

    ...John...
    As far as Bova's series, I probably wouldn't want them to make it. I would much rather see it put together as a series on TV so none of the story would have to be comprimised.

    I would LOVE to see Brin's Earth made into a movie though.
    They'd have to cut a lot of the incidental eco-stuff out to stop it being too long, and that might ruin the atmosphere if they aren't careful. I'd prefer to see a spin-off movie all about the Helvetian War, which doesn't risk ruining the book if it goes wrong.

    John M. Dollan, your bit about Raptor Island reminded me of when I saw Dr Strangelove recently. It is decades old, and the bombers are very clearly models - they even wobble about occaisonally! Yet they were still more realistic than the surfing sequence in Die Another Day. Now that was a poor film.

    As for Mission to Mars, at least it was better than Red Planet. I spent the whole of Red Planet shouting at the astronauts that all their problems would have been solved if they hadn't dumped that extra bit of their lander. And why the heck do Russian space probes have a video screen ... with cute teddy bear graphics AND loudspeakers!

    I liked U571 and ID4 though 8-[ .

  25. #25
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    Daryl71 wrote:
    Ever see a movie that was so outright absurd you couldn't just turn your brain off and enjoy it? Most of the time, I can just sit back and enjoy a good action flick. But sometimes, I feel like my brain is slowly being destroyed. Among my short list:
    Armageddon
    The Core
    Independence Day
    U-571

    Any others?
    Those certainly rank up there as the worst but I'd add Space Cowboys
    and if "non-sciense releated" counts, then the Titanic, definately one of the worst ever.
    As for stupid movies that are actually very entertaining:
    Deep Rising(although marine biologist would probably disagree)and Ravenous(as well as Van Helsing and Underworld).
    Scifi related: Event Horizon(which I think is terribly underrated), Pitch Black.
    As for submarine movies: Below and Das Boot

  26. #26
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    Re: Can't..turn..brain..off!

    Quote Originally Posted by Daryl71
    Ever see a movie that was so outright absurd you couldn't just turn your brain off and enjoy it?
    Yeah - it drives my wife nuts when I do that. ops:

    I can't help but poke holes in these disaster movies. I've come to the conclusion there is only one disaster movie script - and the writers just insert new lingo for that natural phenomenon.

    Pretty much every one of these disaster movies has:

    ~The young, good looking scientist that has a radical idea.

    ~The good looking member of the opposite sex that knows nothing about the scientists work but is needed for love interest.

    ~The stuck in his ways senior scientist that discredits the younger's radical idea via authority.

    ~The elected official that refuses to listen to the scientist with the radical idea because of monetary or political implications.

    and finally: the family members of the scientist or his new love that somehow get caught up in the zone of maximal destruction of the natural disaster that must be rescued by the ingenuity of the radical scientist. Preferably the rescue of said family members occurs at the same time the scientist pulls of some gizmo procedure that stops the natural disaster cold (or hot ... or wet ... or dry ... or whatever).

  27. #27
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    As somebody stated earlier (maybe it was a different thread...) movie producers make movies for money. That's a tried and true formula. Stuff that doesn't follow one of what has to be all of 5 script ideas is too 'risky' and will rarely be found in the mainstream. You'll have to dig around in the indies for unique stuff.

    Sorry my scarstic slip was showing.

  28. #28
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    There are a lot of movies that are too stupid for me to enjoy, but honestly, evaluation is so subjective I don't really expect others should agree with me. It is just that very often I'll hear how "great" some movie is - and find it painfully stupid. Sometimes stupid is fun though. I did like ID4, even as I counted the idiocies. I managed to get into the show.

    The newest version of "Time Machine" is the worst on the recent list of movies I have seen, both for mangling the science and the story it was based on. Not far after that is "Battlefield Earth" for terrible science and even worse acting. I haven't managed to make it through "Armageddon."

    "Star Trek IV" is one that a lot of folks will disagree with me on - but it was just far too stupid to enjoy. "Star Trek V" was also stupid, but far more will agree on that one.

    Quote Originally Posted by TheGalaxyTrio
    - E.T.: Yes, the beloved little alien has a deep, dark place reserved in my Pit-O-SF-Badness just for him. I won't list specifics because I despised just about everything in it.
    I agree, I didn't like that movie at all. Like ST IV, this was a movie I might have been able to stand - a little - if it hadn't been hyped up as being such a fantastic movie.


    Worst recent book adaption: The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen. The Alan Moore graphic novel is a construction of extreme cleverness. How do you screw up a graphic novel adaption? The book *IS* your storyboard. It also illustrates the sexism still in Hollywood. In the book, Mina Harker is the leader of the League, and Quartermain has to be dragged out of an opium den in some dark pit in the Middle East. Oh, but we can't have a woman in charge, especially one with Victorian sensibilities who won't be dressing to tittilate the male teens.
    I think that had more to do with getting Sean Connery (the only one with name recognition) on board. I'm sure it helped that I hadn't read the graphic novels (I did later, and I don't bother with graphic novels often - I hate to pay that much for something I finish so quickly) but I was surprised to find that I really enjoyed that movie. I give allowances for "comic book physics" universe stories and I just enjoyed what they put together. I liked it more than most of the other recent comic book movies.

    However, "Spiderman II" pushed the bounderies a bit beyond what I could accept. In one scene Spidey is holding back a TRAIN just by holding his webs in his ARMS. Sorry, this guy doesn't have an Adamantium laced skeleton. He should have been ripped apart. I could have handled one scene like that, but they just seemed to delight in that sort of thing.

  29. #29
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    Fahrenheit 9/11. :P

    Speaking of agitprop, probably the stupidest movie I couldn't enjoy was Red Dawn. It's an '80's movie about a communist takeover of the US (aided by mexican immigrants of course!) that seems as if it was written by the NRA (samplish dialogue have some of the invading Cubans cackling with glee that the government registered guns, now their task of hunting down and eliminating gun-owners is so much easier).

    About the science thing, shouldn't we be happy about the positive (if unrealistic) protrayal of scientists. Science is under attack in a lot of areas of culture, maybe identifying scientists with heroes in the popular mind can help?

    Quote Originally Posted by Van Rijn
    Sorry, this guy doesn't have an Adamantium laced skeleton.
    Maybe he does? After all movie-Spidey is different from comic book-Spidey in other ways.

  30. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Makgraf
    About the science thing, shouldn't we be happy about the positive (if unrealistic) protrayal of scientists. Science is under attack in a lot of areas of culture, maybe identifying scientists with heroes in the popular mind can help?
    Many times the heroic scientist is "against the mainstream", and has to endure the hostility of the scientific establishment ("The stuck in his ways senior scientist that discredits the younger's radical idea via authority.")

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