you might be a physics major if...

[dakini]

YOU MIGHT BE A PHYSICS MAJOR...

if you have no life - and you can PROVE it mathematically.

if you enjoy pain.

if you know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division.

if you chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal force."

if you've actually used every single function on your graphing calculator.

if when you look in a mirror, you see a physics major.

if it is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer.

if you frequently whistle the theme song to "MacGyver."

if you always do homework on Friday nights.

if you know how to integrate a chicken and can take the derivative of water.

if you think in "math."

if you've calculated that the World Series actually diverges.

if you hesitate to look at something because you don't want to break down
its wave function.

if you have a pet named after a scientist.

if you laugh at jokes about mathematicians.

if the Humane society has you arrested because you actually performed the
Schrodinger's cat experiment.

if you can translate English into Binary.

if you can't remember what's behind the door in the science building
which says "Exit."

if you have to bring a jacket with you, in the middle of summer, because
there's a wind-chill factor in the lab.

If you are completely addicted to caffeine.

if you avoid doing anything because you don't want to contribute to the
eventual heat-death of the universe.

if you consider ANY non-science course "easy."

if when your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have
accidentally determined its momentum so precisely, that according to
Heisenberg it could be anywhere in the universe.

if the "fun" center of your brain has deteriorated from lack of use.

if you'll assume that a "horse" is a "sphere" in order to make the math
easier.

if you understood more than five of these indicators.

if you make a hard copy of this list, and post it on your door.

If these indicators apply to you, there is good reason to suspect that
you might be classified as a physics major. I hope this clears up any
confusion.

[kleindoofy]

...

if you enjoy pain.

...

if it is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer

...

Both would also qualify you for a position in publishing :-) :wink:

Ask me. :roll:

[A Thousand Pardons]

if your softball team is named the Tachyons

if you know how a car engine works, but have never gotten grease under your nails

if you slip on ice, and think "extremely low coefficient of friction" instead of a swear word

if you understand relativity, but not your relatives

[Andromeda321]

if you consider ANY non-science course "easy."

I like this one because my school is so techie we take this designation even further. According to us anything starting with biochemistry and down is an "easy" major including buisness and management, biology, and all the humanities. We're weird like that. 8)

[Mars]

I fit many of those, though I'm going to be a Chemical Engineer Major.

[Normandy6644]

if you consider ANY non-science course "easy."

I like this one because my school is so techie we take this designation even further. According to us anything starting with biochemistry and down is an "easy" major including buisness and management, biology, and all the humanities. We're weird like that. 8)

Haha, I consider biochem "easy" too. 8-[

[kleindoofy]

... According to us anything ... including ... all the humanities ...

Yeah? Well try out Ancient Near Eastern languages in cuneiform. For example, due to the almost complete lack of any secondary literature on a student level, we had to start using scientific journals in the first *weeks* of our studies, just to prepare our introductory class lessons. And the ratio of 3:1 of students to professors in classes didn't allow any hiding in the back row meaning complete and exhaustive preparation for every lesson. At about 12 hours preparation for every double-hour of class and about 5 courses with one double-hour a week each = 60 hours per week just for preparing classes.

And I worked my way through university. (I'm still tired)

One of our assistant professors changed from math and physics to our subject because he thought they were too easy.

I guess we all think we're poor *******s who work too hard. :wink: (QED)

[CTM VT 2K]

Gee, I went into Engineering because I couldn't grasp Chem well enough, and I had a roommate who went into Chem because he couldn't grasp the Engineering well enough. I guess everybody has their nook.

[dakini]

Yeah? Well try out Ancient Near Eastern languages in cuneiform. For example, due to the almost complete lack of any secondary literature on a student level, we had to start using scientific journals in the first *weeks* of our studies, just to prepare our introductory class lessons. And the ratio of 3:1 of students to professors in classes didn't allow any hiding in the back row meaning complete and exhaustive preparation for every lesson. At about 12 hours preparation for every double-hour of class and about 5 courses with one double-hour a week each = 60 hours per week just for preparing classes.

i want to learn to read cuneiform. the oldest western novel is written in it... the epic of gilgamesh.

[kleindoofy]

i want to learn to read cuneiform. the oldest western novel is written in it... the epic of gilgamesh.

I wouldn't really say "western," but OK. Anyway, have fun. The original sources date to a period spread out over about 2500 years. There's no complete version. Nothing even close. It's all little bits of broken clay tablets in different languages (Sumerian, Akkadian) streching over different dialect epochs and various versions of the story. As far as I'm aware, there's not even a definitive edition of all the sources that have been found to date.

Any translation you can buy is a conglomerated reconstruction with most important passages kind of being guessed at as far as the "real" meaning is concerned. Cuneiform studies aren't like reading Homer or Virgil. The latter two are simple in comparison.

[Andromeda321]

I read Gilgamesh translated into English a few months ago and really liked it. Couldn't imagine learning the original language tho, that'd be a bit too much.

[kleindoofy]

I read Gilgamesh ... Couldn't imagine learning the original language tho, that'd be a bit too much.

I guess that's the point of the whole thread: would learning, or studying that, be more difficult or less difficult than majoring in physics? :wink: :wink:

Having done one of those, but never having majored in physics, that's a question I'm not prepared to answer.

I guess it's like playing musical instruments. If you want to play really, really well, make it sound good, and be able to interpret works without worrying about where the fingers go, all instruments are equally difficult to play, even the supposedly "easy" ones.

[dakini]

[I wouldn't really say "western," but OK. Anyway, have fun. The original sources date to a period spread out over about 2500 years. There's no complete version. Nothing even close. It's all little bits of broken clay tablets in different languages (Sumerian, Akkadian) streching over different dialect epochs and various versions of the story. As far as I'm aware, there's not even a definitive edition of all the sources that have been found to date.

Any translation you can buy is a conglomerated reconstruction with most important passages kind of being guessed at as far as the "real" meaning is concerned. Cuneiform studies aren't like reading Homer or Virgil. The latter two are simple in comparison.

really? well, that just sucked the fun out of the thought of that endeavour.

[Andromeda321]

I guess that's the point of the whole thread: would learning, or studying that, be more difficult or less difficult than majoring in physics?

I thought the point was to laugh a bit at a list of amusing things physics majors do. :wink: No really, I admire anyone who goes out in the college stage of the game because I truly can't do it. Conversely, however, everyone always thinks I'm an English major for some reason. When pressed as to why I'm not I tell them physics is a better challenge. So that's part of where my mentality comes from if anyone was at all interested.

[A Thousand Pardons]

if you go outside to watch, during a tornado warning

if you've ever converted your power bill into electron volts

if you know that you're going to be rich someday, in theory, and are satisfied with that

if word problems have never seemed that hard to you

if you've ever said "wave mechanics" when you've meant "car mechanics"

if you ever talk about pions at a party

if you have ever voted against a condidate because of their vote on the Super Conducting Super Collider

[kleindoofy]

if you notice the irony in making a note in your diary of the exact time and place you first heard of the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle

if you and your three friends call your favorite stools at the bar "L1" to "L4," but only two of you can really stay put and the other two keep falling off

[A Thousand Pardons]

if you and your three friends call your favorite stools at the bar "L1" to "L4," but only two of you can really stay put and the other two keep falling off

L1 to L5?

[kleindoofy]

L1 to L5?

Ok, ok: you see, I'm not a physics major. ops:

Make that: you, three friends and the one girl all of you drivel over but have never touched. :wink:

[Tensor]

if you have ever voted against a condidate because of their vote on the Super Conducting Super Collider

Or a candidate, if your from somewhere besides North Carolina. :wink:

[Enzp]

That is why I changed majors after two years of physics. Of course back then there was a lot less physics. Our cyclotron was tiny then and now it superconducts and wants billions of dollars.

We used to call the EE majors(electrical engineering) "pre-packaging" since that is where so many wound up.

[A Thousand Pardons]

if you have ever voted against a condidate because of their vote on the Super Conducting Super Collider

Or a candidate, if your from somewhere besides North Carolina. :wink:

In North Carolina we have Frams, but I'm not sure what your from is.

[Swift]

Test if you are a chemist (like you're not sure :wink: )

1. A MOLE is:
a) a small furry animal that digs up your lawn
b) a spicy Mexican sauce
c) a small lump on your skin
d) the unit of amount, equivalent to 6.02 x 10^23 units of what you are measuring

2. The word UNIONIZED is pronounced:
a) u-nio-nized
b) un-ion-ized

3. ELEMENT and ION make you think of:
a) Small cars from Honda and Saturn
b) Electron transfer

4. You wash your hands
a) before you go to the bathroom
b) after you go to the bathroom
c) both a) and b)

[gethen]

(Judging by my son's experience)

If your idea of a lazy Saturday morning is watching Spiderman cartoons while writing code.

[ZaphodBeeblebrox]

Test if you are a chemist (like you're not sure :wink: )

1. A MOLE is:
a) a small furry animal that digs up your lawn
b) a spicy Mexican sauce
c) a small lump on your skin
d) the unit of amount, equivalent to 6.02 x 10^23 units of what you are measuring

2. The word UNIONIZED is pronounced:
a) u-nio-nized
b) un-ion-ized

3. ELEMENT and ION make you think of:
a) Small cars from Honda and Saturn
b) Electron transfer

4. You wash your hands
a) before you go to the bathroom
b) after you go to the bathroom
c) both a) and b)

1. d

2. b

3. b

4. d (neither)

ops:

[Swift]

Test if you are a chemist (like you're not sure :wink: )

1. A MOLE is:
a) a small furry animal that digs up your lawn
b) a spicy Mexican sauce
c) a small lump on your skin
d) the unit of amount, equivalent to 6.02 x 10^23 units of what you are measuring

2. The word UNIONIZED is pronounced:
a) u-nio-nized
b) un-ion-ized

3. ELEMENT and ION make you think of:
a) Small cars from Honda and Saturn
b) Electron transfer

4. You wash your hands
a) before you go to the bathroom
b) after you go to the bathroom
c) both a) and b)

1. d

2. b

3. b

4. d (neither)

ops:

75% - Points taken off for OSHA violation in question 4

[ZaphodBeeblebrox]

Test if you are a chemist (like you're not sure :wink: )

1. A MOLE is:
a) a small furry animal that digs up your lawn
b) a spicy Mexican sauce
c) a small lump on your skin
d) the unit of amount, equivalent to 6.02 x 10^23 units of what you are measuring

2. The word UNIONIZED is pronounced:
a) u-nio-nized
b) un-ion-ized

3. ELEMENT and ION make you think of:
a) Small cars from Honda and Saturn
b) Electron transfer

4. You wash your hands
a) before you go to the bathroom
b) after you go to the bathroom
c) both a) and b)

1. d

2. b

3. b

4. d (neither)

ops:

75% - Points taken off for OSHA violation in question 4

What, it's NOT Like I Do it at Work ...

Heck, they Make us Wash Twice, afterwards!

[John Mendenhall]

-- you have to interrupt your studies every few days to eat a meal.

[crosscountry]

YOU MIGHT BE A PHYSICS MAJOR...
if you enjoy pain.

if you chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal force."

if you've actually used every single function on your graphing calculator.

if when you look in a mirror, you see a physics major.

if you laugh at jokes about mathematicians.

if you consider ANY non-science course "easy."

if you'll assume that a "horse" is a "sphere" in order to make the math
easier.

if you understood more than five of these indicators.

well, I got more than 5 going for me.

depends on your definition of pain.

[Peter Wilson]

-- if you think guantanamos are subatomic particles

-- if the time-stamp error on BAUT doesn't bother you because "its all relative"

-- you know what a LIGO is, but not a LEGGO

-- if you think the velocity of light = 1.0