If family tradition is correct, my several-greats uncle was Robert E. Lee. This means I'm something like sixth cousins with Robert Duvall, Lee Marvin, and a former manager of my apartment complex. For cousins I know with certainty are cousins, I'm Facebook friends with a few of my first cousins once removed (Simon's second cousins), though I've only seen one of them since they were all babies.
"Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"
"You can't erase icing."
"I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"