You know, jumping from a high board, curling ones body into a ball then entering the water with a huge(kerplunk) splash. Large persons would have the advantage, as the largest splash would get the gold.
PO'T
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You know, jumping from a high board, curling ones body into a ball then entering the water with a huge(kerplunk) splash. Large persons would have the advantage, as the largest splash would get the gold.
PO'T
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If they do, what other horseplay and pool fun will they allow?
The two-handed splash in the face.
The towel snap.
The manual pool float inflation.
The 100-meter doggie paddle.
Marco Polo.
STARGAZING: All I see are the lights of a billion places I'll never go. --Howard Tayler, Schlock Mercenary
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They used to have 'fast walking' races. It was rather humorous to see 'racers' walking as fast as they could without breaking into a trot.Originally Posted by Noclevername
100 meter doggie paddle wouldn't be bad.
Inner tube racing.
Diving into water, then coming inside an inner tube (trying not to scratch ones belly on the tube's valve)
Mud ball fights (I mean mudball competition)
Oh well, small rural town upbringing in the far north - during the fifties.
PO'T
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And of course what talk of diving could be complete without the belly flop. Reddest belly wins.
STARGAZING: All I see are the lights of a billion places I'll never go. --Howard Tayler, Schlock Mercenary
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I was watching synchronized swimming yesterday. They'd launch a swimmer into the air and she'd come down in a belly flop -- repeatedly. Seems to be on purpose in that event!
Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.
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I'd like to see thetreebuckettrebuchet fling dive.
STARGAZING: All I see are the lights of a billion places I'll never go. --Howard Tayler, Schlock Mercenary
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The longest "dead body" float. There would have to be a rule that this cannot be awarded posthumously because otherwise people would be tempted to cheat.
A race to recover locker keys that became detached from swimming costumes and sank to the bottom of the pool.
Impersonating a ballcock.
Impersonating Norman Wisdom. (Apparently they did this at the 1996 Olympics. Norman Wisdom himself took part; he won the Silver.)
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Maybe! The IOC would require there to be an official governing body, obviously this already exists for aquatic events (FINA). Then it needs to be practiced in enough countries so there can be enough competitors in the olympics. I don't know about other countries, but here in the Netherlands there already is a National Championship (winner is he whose splash reaches highest).
Oh... well, nevermind then.
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Perhaps a 150,000 km walking race? That way, they can start off at one Olympic event and possibly finish at the next one. It might even make the event worth watching for two minutes, though I doubt it.
(I'm assuming 100 km per day for 1461 days, roughly)
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I really like this idea.
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you must have missed the headline the other day- one of the favorites in the race walking (or fast walking, speed walking- whatever they call it, they just walk fast) competition got caught with a banned substance in his system... it was an actual huge controversy in his home country of Italy...
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The biggest splashes I have seen were not from cannonballs but were from can openers. That is a feet-first entry with one leg straight down and the other bent double with the knee forward and arms wrapped around it. I have seen the splash go as high as 15 feet from someone going off a low springboard that way.
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They still do, and they do look rather silly. On the other hand, it's a race. The Olympics doesn't need any more events where winners aren't determined by stopwatch, scale, tape measure, or counting goals. After rhythmic gymnastics and synchronized swimming, what's next? Ballet?
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The Greco-Roman Slap Fight
The 100-meter Mosey
The Pie Toss
Freestyle Mud Wrestling
Slam Dancing
Horse Shoeing
The Quinseptupathalon
Speed Quilting Bee
STARGAZING: All I see are the lights of a billion places I'll never go. --Howard Tayler, Schlock Mercenary
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Not to be confused with Horse Shooing. Wow, did we lose some medals that day!
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Underwater Basket Weaving
Hair Styling
Cannonball (out of a real cannon)
Unmixing Mixed Nuts
STARGAZING: All I see are the lights of a billion places I'll never go. --Howard Tayler, Schlock Mercenary
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Don't be ridiculous! Synchronized Hair Styling, OK
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Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.
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Or horse shooting, for that matter - although the 1900 Olympics did include a live pigeon shoot competition. At least, the pigeons were "live" at the start of the competition.
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They shoot horses, don't they?
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The loose shorts diving competition, losers have to stay in the pool until the event is over and everybody leaves.
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Done in the Closing Ceremony. Well, almost.
____________
"Dumb all over, a little ugly on the side." -- Frank Zappa
"Your right to hold an opinion is not being contested. Your expectation that it be taken seriously is." -- Jason Thompson
"This is really very simple, but unfortunately it's very complicated." -- publius
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Firing Eric Idle out of a Cannon?
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I totally agree. I wish they'd get rid of all the football and basketball type sports, and the figure skating and what not. Just have sports where you can set world records. If they're going to do ice skating, it should be just who can do the most turns in a jump or who can spin for the longest time, or something like that.
Three-legged race.
Egg-in-spoon swimming race
As above, so below
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But how do you get the barrel to jump?
STARGAZING: All I see are the lights of a billion places I'll never go. --Howard Tayler, Schlock Mercenary
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Is that what they're calling it these days.
STARGAZING: All I see are the lights of a billion places I'll never go. --Howard Tayler, Schlock Mercenary
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If we're going to have cannonball diving, why not do it literally? Put a bunch of cannonballs in the bottom of a deep pool, and whoever gets one out wins.
STARGAZING: All I see are the lights of a billion places I'll never go. --Howard Tayler, Schlock Mercenary
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Diving into a pool of cannonballs,
Would cause one to ache.
For the one that do the falls,
His neck would surely break.
Last edited by potoole; 2012-Aug-13 at 02:39 AM.
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