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Thread: One upmanship!

  1. #31
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    We had no grain of sand and could only watch other people play with their grain of sand, in the dark.

  2. #32
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    You got to watch people? We were all blinded at birth. WORST OBSTETRICIAN EVER!
    STARGAZING: All I see are the lights of a billion places I'll never go. --Howard Tayler, Schlock Mercenary

  3. #33
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    You were born? why we had to to spend life in the womb, talk about overcrowding!

  4. #34
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    A nice cozy womb? I would have killed for that! My mother just left her eggs in cuckoo's nests.

    ...Excuse me, I have to go preen my feathers now.
    STARGAZING: All I see are the lights of a billion places I'll never go. --Howard Tayler, Schlock Mercenary

  5. #35
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    Eggs of an endangered species? Then you were loved and spoiled by graduate interns whilst some of us were surgically transplanted into the wombs of orcas. Thanks, Mom!

  6. #36
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    We most certainly were not! Most of us fell out of the nest and crashed to Earth, shattering our fragile bones. The rest were eaten by wild ferrets. (You knew we had to bring ferrets into the conversation at some point!)
    STARGAZING: All I see are the lights of a billion places I'll never go. --Howard Tayler, Schlock Mercenary

  7. #37
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    Ferrets have to eat like everybody else. A single ferret can consume a watermelon 20 times its own size and in the process produce several ounces of dark matter.

  8. #38
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    We had no ferrets. Had to make our own dark matter with matter compressors... realllly long handled matter compressors... with light extractors. We used the extracted light to make beer.

  9. #39
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    You had beer. I haven't had a beer in decades. I hang outside of bars' bathrooms so I can get a little sniff of the beer induced waste products.
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

    All moderation in purple - The rules

  10. #40
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    You had bathrooms? With a real bath? We just had to lick each other clean.

  11. #41
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    There was no point in getting clean, because we lived in water. Our skin was so wrinkly they would hire us for extras in raisin commercials.

  12. #42
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    We had some water, but it was all second hand, with most of the protons missing a quark or two.

  13. #43
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    You're lucky, our water was all fuzzy because the strings were starting to unravel.

  14. #44
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    Well at least your strings existed in a ten dimensions, not six like in our drab universe!

  15. #45
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    What are these dimensions you keep talking about? Our universe didn't even have a point.

  16. #46
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    A pointless universe? That would be great! Out here everything need to have a reason.

  17. #47
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    Reason? That would be awesome! We lived in a box with a cat - never did figure out the reason...

  18. #48
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    Cats are a reason unto themselves. You should try living in a box with a giant stinky slobbering dog.

  19. #49
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    Ha! people raised by skunks in a swamp scoff at cats and dogs.

  20. #50
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    At least you werent' attacked by otters!

  21. #51
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    That's true, the Great Whites tended to thin their numbers out.

  22. #52
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    W couldn't afford Great Whites, we had to take Mediocre Greys and whitewash them.
    STARGAZING: All I see are the lights of a billion places I'll never go. --Howard Tayler, Schlock Mercenary

  23. #53
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    Somebody kept whitewashing our mediocre greys, and I kept getting blamed for it.

  24. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noclevername View Post
    W couldn't afford Great Whites, we had to take Mediocre Greys and whitewash them.
    We couldn't even spell a two-letter pronoun!
    STARGAZING: All I see are the lights of a billion places I'll never go. --Howard Tayler, Schlock Mercenary

  25. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noclevername View Post
    We couldn't even spell a two-letter pronoun!
    I though you meant Dubya.

  26. #56
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    Whuh?

  27. #57
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    This guy:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_W._Bush

    not to get political at all...

  28. #58
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    I can't even tell pronouns from presidents!
    STARGAZING: All I see are the lights of a billion places I'll never go. --Howard Tayler, Schlock Mercenary

  29. #59
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    You are something of a pronoun mystery, true; but I could introduce you to a man that has banished all pronouns from his life.

  30. #60
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    I could introduce you to a horse with no name.

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