Order of Kilopi
Not a flatulence story, but... Reminds me of a Christmas Carol service one year. I was sat next to my brother when the priest - who spoke good English but occasionally mumbled or slurred, announced the first carol: "We shall sing 'Awa[slur]in a Manger'."
My brother turned to me and said, "What's a whale doing in a manger?"
I had to restrain my laughter for the next hour and a bit.
Established Member
"Away is the ranger" is another popular variant.
Order of Kilopi
My dog found a garter snake in my back yard. She didn't really do anything to it: she just barked, but then tried very hard to find it when it slithered into some hostas.
My parents' last dog, Henry, didn't bark at them. He just grabbed them and shook his head violently. Interestingly, he never seems to have bitten them hard enough to draw blood.
Order of Kilopi
A funny pic from Bad Astronomy, on alien life:
It's almost Escher-esque.
STARGAZING: All I see are the lights of a billion places I'll never go. --Howard Tayler, Schlock Mercenary
Bad Post-Doc
The dog in the booth next to ours at faire sounds exactly like he is saying, "Ruff! Ruff!" We have privately dubbed him Gaspode, after the talking dog in the Discworld books.
This year, we're exactly across from one of the stages. Most of the shows are pretty good; we've seen Robin Hood and Maid Marian three times a day for four days now. (While they have two different shows, the two shows have most of the same jokes.) We still enjoy them. But three times a day, there's this folk duet who are not very good and have a really bad set list. (Much though I may like Leonard Cohen, "Suzanne" is not appropriate for a ren faire.) Robin was kind of hanging around yesterday before one of his sets; I think they have shows on either side of this group. And the guy said that if Robin wasn't ready, they could do one more song. Robin told them very quickly that, no, he was ready.
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Gillian
"Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"
"You can't erase icing."
"I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"
Order of Kilopi
There was a song -- I can't remember who sung it or the song's title -- which always sounded to me like "there's a bathroom on the right." I thought that was an odd thing to sing about, but this was in the 60s....
Order of Kilopi
Credence Clearwater Revival.Originally Posted by swampyankee
It's probably one of the most known mondegreens in popular music.
Order of Kilopi
Our KiloPi tradition apparently went viral. I just read an article about how the USA passed 100.000.000 times pi citizens on august 14th.
Established Member
Therefore, if we all stood in one big circle, our diameter would be 100,000,000 people wide, eh?
Order of Kilopi
Shhh. Don't give anybody any ideas. Next thing you know we'll get a whole fundraising effort and song to go with it.
Order of Kilopi
And don't forget a reference to the event in a Simpsons episode.
Order of Kilopi
No, the circle would be 5 times larger than the Equator, so standing like that is just plain not an option.)
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Reductionist and proud of it.
Being ignorant is not so much a shame, as being unwilling to learn. Benjamin Franklin
Chase after the truth like all hell and you'll free yourself, even though you never touch its coat tails. Clarence Darrow
A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read. Mark Twain
Established Member
Hey, it's a thought experiment! If Archimedes can say "Give me a place to stand, and I will move the Earth," then I can say "Give 314,159,265.4 of us a place to stand, and I will show you a 100 megaperson diameter line!"
Order of Kilopi
My sister, who wrote an e-mail (extremely rare for her, as she dislikes the internet; tends to be technophobic) praising "today's" technology ... and meanwhile she gets daily news from a newspaper.
:-]
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Let me know when you get a volunteer to be the .4.
Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by ignorance or stupidity.
Isaac Asimov
Moderation will be in purple.
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Order of Kilopi
I get a chuckle every time I see the placement of the "(change)" link on nbc's main page.
There's got to be some reason they didn't place it next to the location, and instead opted to put it next to the weather.
Bad Post-Doc
See, if I had one of those that worked, my life would be very different.
It amuses me that the "things that bug you" thread is three times longer than the "things that amuse you" thread.
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Gillian
"Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"
"You can't erase icing."
"I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"
Order of Kilopi
Well, computers are only one kind of technology... reading about the Curiosity landing in the newspaper could definitely inspire praise of today's technology, for instance.
Order of Kilopi
The average family has 2.4 children, so that shouldn't be a problem.
Order of Kilopi
My son and his friends saw a Google Map's truck last year and chased it down on bicycles. They are in images for blocks around our house.
Solfe
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'That was tops! Who's not good at math? I was all, "Four!"' - Finn, Adventure Time.
Order of Kilopi
The hotel we're in thoughtfully provided "volumizing" shampoo. Didn't work, I'm still bald.
Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.
Administrator
Yes, but you have a bigger volume of nothing now.
Established Member
The advert on the side of a garbage truck I saw downtown today:
Garbage Removal 432-YUCK
Order of Kilopi
A sign at the entrance to a nearby military installation said "No weapons of any kind are authorized on this installation." Standing beside the sign was a guard clearly armed with a 9mm automatic pistol, and a combat-ready infantry regiment is stationed there with their rifles. A better choice of words would have been something like "No unauthorized weapons of any kind are permitted on this installation."
Established Member
Supposedly, one of the players' dressing rooms at Brooklyn's Ebbetts Field used to have a sign that read VISITORS' CLUBHOUSE -- NO VISITORS ALLOWED.
Order of Kilopi
When I see fences with "No Trespassing" signs on them and the house in question clearly visible behind the fence, I like to imagine a dumb person calling the police to report "It says you're not allowed to trespass there, but somebody's gone and built a HOUSE!"
Established Member
I know he was with the Mets and the Yankees but was Yogi Berra even with the Dodgers, he's famous for things like that.
Established Member
Also, I remember an old university professor friend of mine. He was a big shot and has a reserved parking space. The sign there said "This parking space is RESERVED for Dr. ____ ____ ____. DO NOT PARK HERE!" [He had a title and three names on it, but of course.]
As this guy was fanatic about the English language, I pointed out to him that the sign should have read something like "... ONLY HE MAY PARK HERE!" but he claimed it wasn't his problem.
Forum Welcomer
editing specks on my screen... twice tonight I've tried to delete different bits of 'punctuation'...
Order of Kilopi
I have the same problem. It would probably be better if I didn't eat in front of the computer!
I also have a dead pixel on one of the computers. Even though I know it's there, I still get fooled and try to delete it now and then.
Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.
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