Order of Kilopi
Have your child stalked by an evil clown.
Yeah.He is a birthday treat, hired by mum and dad, and the ‘attack' involves being splatted in the face with a cake.
I wonder how they determine whose kid it is. I see the potential for abuse.
Plus, with the list I have, it would get expensive.
I'm Not Evil.
An evil person would do the things that pop into my head.
Forum Welcomer
Yeck! Wierd stuff to do to your kid... although I used to squirt my kids with water when they tunnelled in to the tv to the point that they didn't notice me come in with a squirt gun...
Bad Post-Doc
Really? Really? I don't even know where to begin!"‘Bringing a little bit of life and laughter into kids' lives is what we are all about.'"
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Gillian
"Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"
"You can't erase icing."
"I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"
Order of Kilopi
I tell my wife "College or therapy, we can only afford one." That clown would make even my oldest and toughest cry.
Solfe
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'That was tops! Who's not good at math? I was all, "Four!"' - Finn, Adventure Time.
Established Member
Are there really parents out there who would do that? I can usually find humour in anything, but not here.
Established Member
They control guns tightly in Switzerland, right? Otherwise, someone would blow that creep away pretty swiftly, I'd guess.
Order of Kilopi
Yes, they make sure everyone has one.Originally Posted by DonM435
They're for repelling invaders, not for killing clowns.
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Reductionist and proud of it.
Being ignorant is not so much a shame, as being unwilling to learn. Benjamin Franklin
Chase after the truth like all hell and you'll free yourself, even though you never touch its coat tails. Clarence Darrow
A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read. Mark Twain
Established Member
In the US, the parents of the other kids at the party would sue the birthday kid's parents and the clown for traumatizing their kids, and the child welfare folks would charge the kid's parents for child abuse, and the whole mess would be stalked by evil lawyers.
Order of Kilopi
Ugh, that would have terrified me as a kid.
Order of Kilopi
Which is which? I can't tell.
Bad Post-Doc
Actually, I was just thinking about the legal issues. Because if you're getting threatening messages, shouldn't you report them to the cops? I mean, stalking is a crime--and should be. So then when you find out that your parents paid someone to stalk you, doesn't that just make things worse? Wouldn't it just make all kinds of trust issues blossom?In the US, the parents of the other kids at the party would sue the birthday kid's parents and the clown for traumatizing their kids, and the child welfare folks would charge the kid's parents for child abuse, and the whole mess would be stalked by evil lawyers.
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Gillian
"Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"
"You can't erase icing."
"I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"
Established Member
That would terrify me now.
Established Member
The Evil Clown thing reminds me of the stunts Howie Mandel pulled on his tv show Howie Do It, but I think it would be too mean, even for him.
Order of Kilopi
I think the only way it could really work is if the kid knows that it's not real; although I'm not sure how one would tell a kid that you have paid a clown to stalk them.......
Bad Post-Doc
"Well, it turns out I'm a lousy parent . . . ."
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Gillian
"Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"
"You can't erase icing."
"I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"
Order of Kilopi
"Mom, Dad, you may be wondering why I picked a retirement home for you where the staff believes daily enemas are crucial for healthy living. Well, remember the clown? ..."
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Reductionist and proud of it.
Being ignorant is not so much a shame, as being unwilling to learn. Benjamin Franklin
Chase after the truth like all hell and you'll free yourself, even though you never touch its coat tails. Clarence Darrow
A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read. Mark Twain
Established Member
Established Member
(The subject was "guns.")
Admirable restraint by the Swiss. But I'll bet no evil clown would pull this kind of stunt in, say, Austin, Texas.
Order of Kilopi
Austin might be the safest part of Texas for it, at that.
Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.
Order of Kilopi
Sick and stupid.
Order of Kilopi
That reminds me of The Road to Wellville:
William Lightbody: Oh, no, no, I can't eat fifteen gallons of yoghurt.
Dr. Kellogg: Oh, it's not going in that end, Mr. Lightbody.
Solfe
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'That was tops! Who's not good at math? I was all, "Four!"' - Finn, Adventure Time.
Established Member
I probably already told this story, but I like repeating it. At one of my daughter's recreational soccer league games several years ago, a parent of a player on the opposing team called his daughter to the sideline before she went back to the bench for halftime. He proceeded to (inappropriately IMHO) dress her down for not performing to his standards, jeopardizing future scholarships, etc. I turned to another parent who was standing next to me and said "Can you believe this guy?" His response was, "Don't worry, someday she'll get to choose his nursing home."
Established Member
Wouldn't the nation's jolly good clowns rise up against the evil ones?
We'd have these Clown Wars, with mallets and giant seltzer weapons and edible missiles.
Horrible, yet still hilarious.
Order of Kilopi
That is a wonderful mental image.
Order of Kilopi
Start by selecting a Spalding 4 iron*.
Target the area at the bulge of the quadriceps but make it seem you're going for a head-shot. This wil get his arms around his head and not defending his thigh. Swing from the shoulder using both hands and try to not close your eyes upon impact. (Though that's hard to do at first.)
This will prevent him from running away. Maybe even put him on the ground, unable to rise.
Either way you will be able to easily out-manuever him from then on and pulverize him at your leisure. Remember, the opening thigh attack is key to a successful blunt instrument assault!
No need to thank me, it's payback for all the great grammer lessons.
*Spalding steel shafted clubs have very little flex for a golf club, allowing for fantastic control at the expense of a little range.
Bad Post-Doc
"Grammar." But thanks for the tips!
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Gillian
"Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"
"You can't erase icing."
"I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"
Established Member
"The Evil Clowns got the entire village with their cannons! Why it must have taken all night to fire each Good Clown out of one! Oh, the humanity!"
Honk! Honk! Splat!
"Pie assault! Run!"
Order of Kilopi
Begun, the Clown War has.
Established Member
"Hold it there: we can fit a lot more commandos in that clown jeep! You don't believe it, eh ... ?"
Order of Kilopi
ICP must really be hurting for work these days--poor juggalos.
Then too, they might come from space.
"We all float UP here."
Tell that to this kid: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ecAkQumNQyE
Kennesaw GA too, where the crime rate of evil clowns dropped 89% Take that Pennywise.
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