Don't you think that you're reading just a BIT too much into near-identical phrases ? Just for example,
Dictionary.com lists "with reference to" as one meaning of "relatively to".
But look, you're making things unnecessarily complicated.
We have :
- An Embankment and an Observer Edward in Inertial Frame of Reference R1
- A Train and an Observer Tom in Inertial Frame of Reference R2
- Lightening strikes at A and B.
Now Edward decides whether the strikes were simultaneous in his Inertial Frame of Reference (let's say he does), and Tom decides whether they were simultaneous in his.
Each can calculate by Relativity the answers for the other - ie. they can take the spacetime coordinates from their Inertial Frame of Reference, and translate them into the spacetime coordinates of the other's Inertial Frame of Reference. In doing so, they get the answers to what the other observed.
And that's it. Two Inertial Frames of Reference, and observers in each can calculate the other's observations.
So what's the bit that I've bolded?

You say Tom would also observe the strikes as simultaneous, but Edward would calculate that Tom wouldn't have?

So are you trying to say that the point of Relativity is that the Relativity calculations give wrong answers?
