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  1. #1
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    I am losing interest in life

    I am losing interest in life. I find that every day that goes by is just another day that I care less about things. I'm not the "s" word, but...I just feel like there is no future for me personally. I have no children, no mate, find it hard to have fun, I'm mostly a loner. Things that I used to enjoy, I don't anymore...I used to love to read...not so much now...I feel empty. I feel like I wasted my life, didn't realize a potential. Just tired. I do sleep alot on the weekends and after work. I have been diagnosed with depression (as if I didn't know-long ago) Please do not write to me directly. I'm just venting a feeling.
    Last edited by banquo's_bumble_puppy; 2012-Feb-14 at 03:28 PM.

  2. #2
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    Two things about life I would say, the primary
    function of bringing children into the World
    and the primary gift, being alive on a fascinating,
    colourful World full of possibilities. If you feel
    you lost out on one take comfort in the other. And
    having to deal with illnesses makes the gift all
    the more apparent though pain may be too much at
    times.

  3. #3
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    I'm sorry to hear it. This tiredness is part of the aging process, and can only be appreciated by those who experience it.

    Your signature line seems in direct contrast to your post.

  4. #4
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    Where you reside likely also doesn't help (weather).

    Maybe you can take a holiday to a warm/sunny climate?

    Take a college course or two?

    Seems you're probably in a rut.

    Take a gourmet cooking class.

    It'd be good to be around others, even if not involved one-on-one.

    Your community likely could use volunteers in various programs. Donate a couple of hours' time per week.

    p.s.: I regularly follow the blog of a "foodie" who has an interesting family and social life. Her blog is very entertaining. Write me if you'd like the web address.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buttercup View Post
    Where you reside likely also doesn't help (weather).
    I read the other day (in "Thinking, Fast and Slow" by Daniel Kahneman) that, (with the exception of people who suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder in places with low light in winter), there is no evidence that differences in weather makes people systematically happier or less happy. What seems to happen instead is that people living in places with frequent poor weather enjoy the good weather when they have it, because it stands out; whereas people living in places which have frequent good weather quickly put it into their background expectation of life and soon cease to rejoice in it. People's conversion of experience to happiness is seriously non-linear.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivan Viehoff View Post
    I read the other day (in "Thinking, Fast and Slow" by Daniel Kahneman) that, (with the exception of people who suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder in places with low light in winter), there is no evidence that differences in weather makes people systematically happier or less happy. What seems to happen instead is that people living in places with frequent poor weather enjoy the good weather when they have it, because it stands out; whereas people living in places which have frequent good weather quickly put it into their background expectation of life and soon cease to rejoice in it. People's conversion of experience to happiness is seriously non-linear.
    Having been born/raised in the often cloudy, cold, stormy Midwest of the US and by contrast having lived the past 20 years in the sunny and warm Desert Southwest, I can say (with experience) it's much easier to deal with depression in sunshine and warmth. Another helpful factor is in nicer climes you're usually able to get "out and about" as you please (not cooped up in a house/apartment with snow and ice to contend with).

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buttercup View Post
    Having been born/raised in the often cloudy, cold, stormy Midwest of the US and by contrast having lived the past 20 years in the sunny and warm Desert Southwest, I can say (with experience) it's much easier to deal with depression in sunshine and warmth. Another helpful factor is in nicer climes you're usually able to get "out and about" as you please (not cooped up in a house/apartment with snow and ice to contend with).
    True 'dat.

  8. #8
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    I don't think therapy is the answer. Being disappointed that a life isn't turning out the way one expected or you've found yourself wanting more in life isn't depression. It's ambition.


    Quote Originally Posted by Buttercup View Post
    Having been born/raised in the often cloudy, cold, stormy Midwest of the US and by contrast having lived the past 20 years in the sunny and warm Desert Southwest, I can say (with experience) it's much easier to deal with depression in sunshine and warmth. Another helpful factor is in nicer climes you're usually able to get "out and about" as you please (not cooped up in a house/apartment with snow and ice to contend with).
    I live in sunny SoCal where it's always sunny and 75F 200 days out of the year; I can say that I do get tired of the sun and usually, by August, I'm getting a little depressed. The constant sun can wear on you; I've lived in Wisconsin and Bariloche. The weather at those places can be dreary, but I learn to make the most of my standard warm sunny-days.

  9. #9
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    You might consider counseling/therapy if you're not seeing someone already. It could help. A lot. Best wishes to you and good luck!

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    Quote Originally Posted by redshifter View Post
    You might consider counseling/therapy if you're not seeing someone already. It could help. A lot. Best wishes to you and good luck!
    I'd agree with that. Get therapy ASAP. You sound like you are severely depressed and should get help before you do become suicidal. I know how you feel. I've been there myself plenty of times. I'm rooting for you. Hang in there.

  11. #11
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    I think venting a feeling is both brave and desirable. Keep it up. Using a forum like this is like a diary that talks back and sometimes surprises. I don't know if it works for you but when I feel down I find something to mend or chop or throw away. If you like computers try learning to fly with a simulator! And last thought, with mirrors always force a smile. I hope you feel better soon.

  12. #12
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    As I've aged (I'm 74) instead of thinking of my life as a glass half empty or half full, I've found I need a smaller glass. The plain truth is that I'm not the person I was. My mental and physical potential has diminished somewhat but instead of being saddened by that, I have accepted it as something everyone must deal with. I try not to dwell on things I haven't done or can no longer do.

    If you have reasonable health and energy, don't sit at the computer all day. Get out and do things, even if it's just taking a long walk. I have powerwalked regularly for about 15 years and largely credit that regular aerobic exercise for the relatively good health and attitude I enjoy today. About ten years ago, I wrote an article about it. Good Luck.

    Mike
    "There are powers in this universe beyond anything you know. There is much you have to learn. Go to your homes. Go and give thought to the mysteries of the universe. I will leave you now, in peace." --Galaxy Being

  13. #13
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    I'll kick the bucket the instant before I die. I don't think it's possible to accomplish in reverse order.

  14. #14
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    I have to say Luckmeister, I never dreamed you were 74. If this is diminished, you must have kicked butt at 50.

    I absolutely agree about exercise. A nice walk or hitting the gym does a lot for me to get out of a funk. And, as others have said, doing something social like taking a course or volunteering does wonders too.

    If that doesn't do it BBP, I hope you talk to someone, like a medical professional, about it. Even just talking to them may help.
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

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  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Swift View Post
    I have to say Luckmeister, I never dreamed you were 74. If this is diminished, you must have kicked butt at 50.
    Hah, at 50 I never stopped to rest. I drove girlfriends nuts because they couldn't get me to just relax and "veg out."

    I started the powerwalking because my doctor told me if I wanted to avoid eventual surgery for a lifelong scoliosis condition in my back, I should do a lot of walking. As I got older, the condition was becoming more of an issue. The walking made a big difference. If I don't walk for a few days, my back lets me know I should have.

    I don't expect most people to get into powerwalking but for me it has been a very beneficial activity. Just a plain old stroll in the park on a regular basis is good for one's health, especially if one spends most of each day sitting in a chair. The online revolution has its drawbacks.
    "There are powers in this universe beyond anything you know. There is much you have to learn. Go to your homes. Go and give thought to the mysteries of the universe. I will leave you now, in peace." --Galaxy Being

  16. #16
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    Everyone has a different solution. I was in a bit of a rut a year ago, and so I started my gaming blog. 14 months later and it's keeping me pretty damn busy. Still in a rut, but between real work, life, and trying to make the website respectable, I don't really have time to think about said rut. :-P

    Physical activity is great for some, for others it either doesn't work or isn't an option. I fall in the middle - it's an option, and I enjoy excising and hiking when I can motivate myself, but doing those things doesn't drastically change my mood. Socializing helps for some, but I'm more anti-social (shocking, right?) and don't enjoy group activities like classes or clubs.

    Point is, there's no one answer. And if you're anything like me, it can be difficult to figure an answer out. But there are people that are willing to help. And persistence is no fun, but does pay off.

    G'luck.

  17. #17
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    I know the feeling. Sounds more like dysthymia than actual clinical depression if it's a long term thing. there may be medicines for that, as well as non-pharmacological ways, such as certain foods or activities. Staying up all night (or whatever you sleep-time is) is supposed to help break a depressive mood, and dark chocolate has chemicals that improve mood, as do other foods, as does physical exercise.
    Et tu BAUT? Quantum mutatus ab illo.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ara Pacis View Post
    I know the feeling. Sounds more like dysthymia than actual clinical depression if it's a long term thing. there may be medicines for that, as well as non-pharmacological ways, such as certain foods or activities. Staying up all night (or whatever you sleep-time is) is supposed to help break a depressive mood, and dark chocolate has chemicals that improve mood, as do other foods, as does physical exercise.
    You know, I was thinking the same thing. Dysthymia, by definition is a low grade, long term depression but it's not uncommon to slip into episodes of major depression. It sounds like banquo's_bumble_puppy has (not that I am diagnosing or anything). I echo anyone who has already said therapy, if you are not already in therapy. I went through one of those slumps about two years ago. As stupid as it sounds, it was a music CD that set me off. It kept making me sadder and sadder but I couldn't stop listening to it. Coming out of it could have been a natural part of the cycle but right around the same time, I read a really funny book (laughing out loud type of funny). I think it gave me enough of a temporary lift to get motivated again. I have simple humor so it may not be as funny to you but it's worth a shot. History if the Millenium by Dave Barry and after that I read I'll Mature When I'm Dead, also by Dave Barry. I know you said that you lost interest in reading but the first book I mentioned consists entirely of mini-mock-news stories. You can pick it up and put it down without feeling obligated to finish chapters. Either way, I have them both and if you were interested, I can ship them to you (my treat). If not, I hope you keep searching till you find something that works.

  19. #19
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    Travel the world. Once I did that my life was full of exciting adventure.

  20. #20
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    Whenever the sun's shining, face it with closed eyes and relax. Feel the heat. Enjoy.
    Repeat as needed.
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  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by banquo's_bumble_puppy View Post
    I just feel like there is no future for me personally. I have no children, no mate, find it hard to have fun, I'm mostly a loner. Things that I used to enjoy, I don't anymore...I used to love to read...not so much now...I feel empty. I feel like I wasted my life, didn't realize a potential.
    I know this feeling well. Others have suggested ways to try and feel better, but I find that depression really hurts because the causes are true.

    A few years ago, I also started to feel a profound emptiness from reading or consuming other media. It felt like wasted time--I felt a profound yearning to create rather than consume. But creating is hard.

    Still, the only true way to combat that empty feeling is to try and fill your life with some meaning. My solution has been to try and create/develop something of meaning. I have not yet succeeded, but at least I'm trying. I have failed numerous times so far, and each failure can be terribly dispiriting. But not as dispiriting as not even trying in the first place!

    If you are anyone else is looking for something meaningful to contribute, there is no shortage of people and causes looking for help. I'm one of them! I have several aerospace concepts which I'd like to promote and develop, but not a lot of free time.

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by IsaacKuo View Post
    I know this feeling well. Others have suggested ways to try and feel better, but I find that depression really hurts because the causes are true.

    A few years ago, I also started to feel a profound emptiness from reading or consuming other media. It felt like wasted time--I felt a profound yearning to create rather than consume. But creating is hard.

    Still, the only true way to combat that empty feeling is to try and fill your life with some meaning. My solution has been to try and create/develop something of meaning. I have not yet succeeded, but at least I'm trying. I have failed numerous times so far, and each failure can be terribly dispiriting. But not as dispiriting as not even trying in the first place!

    If you are anyone else is looking for something meaningful to contribute, there is no shortage of people and causes looking for help. I'm one of them! I have several aerospace concepts which I'd like to promote and develop, but not a lot of free time.


    I agree here ---to me it is knowing that I can leave something of myself behind. Most of us try to achieve things in life--that may not be the truth to happiness--it is knowing that one can transcend ones own propensities and make life a little sweeter for someone else or others, in general.

    Depression is not easy especially with so many quick fixes being advertised --and one does not know that true happiness is found through self-transformation--and not through being a "door mat"--IMO

  23. #23
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    Expanding on Buttercup's suggestion: perhaps you could move to a different part of the world, if at all practicable. Find a new life somewhere else.

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    I like that suggestion of volunteer work for some worthy cause.

    I'll admit that there have been times when I had nothing to keep me going except that a few other people depended upon me, and I had to be there for them. And in retrospect, I'm grateful for that.

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by DonM435 View Post
    I like that suggestion of volunteer work for some worthy cause.

    I'll admit that there have been times when I had nothing to keep me going except that a few other people depended upon me, and I had to be there for them. And in retrospect, I'm grateful for that.
    I do volunteer about 4 hours per week at a social program. My duties consist of taking donations from visitors to the program, tallying the income at program's end, and once a month I also help in the kitchen: Setting plates and silverware, dishing up food, cleaning up afterwards.

    It's win-win.

    Other volunteers have a good time, the recipients of this program enjoy it.

    I might add that my fellow volunteers (both genders) are of varying economic and educational backgrounds. But differences are totally set aside; we work as one.

    Community/social programs need volunteers, and they're happy and grateful to have your help.

  26. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buttercup View Post
    I do volunteer about 4 hours per week at a social program. My duties consist of taking donations from visitors to the program, tallying the income at program's end, and once a month I also help in the kitchen: Setting plates and silverware, dishing up food, cleaning up afterwards.

    It's win-win.

    Other volunteers have a good time, the recipients of this program enjoy it.

    I might add that my fellow volunteers (both genders) are of varying economic and educational backgrounds. But differences are totally set aside; we work as one.

    Community/social programs need volunteers, and they're happy and grateful to have your help.
    I love volunteering (I know I've said this before). I can honestly say that I met my wife through my volunteering and a high percentage of my friends (most of the rest have been through work). I doubt anyone will remember me for my scientific work; but I will be very happy if I am remembered for my volunteer service.
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

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  27. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Swift View Post
    I love volunteering (I know I've said this before). I can honestly say that I met my wife through my volunteering and a high percentage of my friends (most of the rest have been through work). I doubt anyone will remember me for my scientific work; but I will be very happy if I am remembered for my volunteer service.
    If it helps, I'll remember you as the guy with the frog picture.

  28. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Swift View Post
    I love volunteering (I know I've said this before). I can honestly say that I met my wife through my volunteering and a high percentage of my friends (most of the rest have been through work). I doubt anyone will remember me for my scientific work; but I will be very happy if I am remembered for my volunteer service.
    Lol, I may not be as ecstatic as you, but I volunteer, as well. Right now, for my party, at least until the general election.

  29. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by banquo's_bumble_puppy View Post
    I used to love to read...not so much now...
    What??? You must not be reading the right stuff. Prior to a recent road trip, I stopped by the library and haphazardly picked up a couple of audio books. One of them was The Host by Stephanie Meyer. I knew nothing about this author (and kinda wish I hadn't learned about her other exploits, but nevermind that). This book started out kinda slow. But then things started happening. It's a long book - over 600 pages or 20 cds. I really, really enjoyed this book. Sounds like you could do with a little enjoyment.
    Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not his own facts.

  30. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cougar View Post
    What??? You must not be reading the right stuff.
    Oh, I believe it.

    Reading low quality stuff depressed me because I thought, "I could write this. I should be writing that novel/paper/game/blog."

    Reading high quality stuff depressed me because I thought, "I could never write this. What's the point?"

    The only solution was to stop reading and start writing!

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