Films of 2012

[SeanF]

Which included that the actresses are skinnier than turn of the century prostitutes were.

Oh, come now. In general, women today don't weigh much more or less than they did eleven years ago.

[HenrikOlsen]

So, Henrik... personal experience talking?

(tongue ---> cheek)

Does watching pictures from the period count as personal experience?

[Jim]

Y'know, it just occurred to me that "turn of the century" could mean 1995-2005.

[Gillianren]

Yes, I've been having that issue a lot lately. I've taken to using the expression "turn of the last century."

[SeanF]

Y'know, it just occurred to me that "turn of the century" could mean 1995-2005.

When you say it "just occurred" to you, you mean just after you read my post, right?

[jamesabrown]

What gets me is realizing that toddlers today have a decent chance to see the 22nd century.

[parallaxicality]

For the week of Friday, 3 February:


Chronicle: Four exceptionally unpleasant people get superpowers and the audience is sentenced to watch the results. At least the cheerleader in Heroes was nice. And isn’t it a bit late to cry “We can’t mess around with this! It’s not a game!” when you’ve spent the entire trailer doing just that?

US:

Assuming Groundhog Day doesn’t repeat, you Americans will be watching:

The Woman in Black: Judgement Day for Dan, who needs to see if he has a career post-Potter, and for Hammer², whom this will likely make or break. Looks like it checks all the right boxes, and, if Let Me In is anything to go by, if audiences ignore this too, it will be their own fault.

The Innkeepers: Whose idea was it to launch a ghost movie the same day as one of the most hyped ghost movies of the year? Trailer does everything wrong that the above trailer does right, so if audiences go for this instead, I am officially divorcing myself from the human race.

Big Miracle : Yet another “cute whale” movie (happily based on true events) that assuages our collective emotional ego and allows us briefly to forget that we are ravaging the oceans beyond hope of recovery.

Splinters: Surf documentaries are nothing new (Matt Groening’s dad made them back in the 60s!) but this has an interesting twist; it describes the surfing craze that hit Papua New Guinea after a lone pilot left a surfboard on a village beach. Cultural contamination of the best kind, as villagers decided to compete to see if they could unseat the white man from the world’s most photogenic sport.

The Union: I don’t care what you say; if you were a kid in the 80s, you liked Elton John. Sure, today the guy’s mainly famous for overspending on clothes, but this takes us all back to the time when he was an oddly ambisexual clown doing catchy tunes on his piano.

UK

Best Laid Plans: It seems the UK is only capable of making Edwardian bodice rippers or well’ard gangsta flicks. This ain’t the former.

Journey 2: The Mysterious Island: This movie is slowly slinking its way around the international schedules without actually being released in the country that made it. Which suggests one of two things: either it is so cerebral and sophisticated that distributors doubt Americans will understand its myriad complexities, or they think we gringos are so stupid that we’ll flock to any piece of US-made crap, as long as it’s in 3D, but Americans have been burnt too many times to fall for that. Guess which option I’m going for.

[HenrikOlsen]

The Woman in Black: Judgement Day for Dan, who needs to see if he has a career post-Potter, and for Hammer², whom this will likely make or break. Looks like it checks all the right boxes, and, if Let Me In is anything to go by, if audiences ignore this too, it will be their own fault.

He's already demonstrated that he does very well in roles other than Harry Potter, the interesting thing is going to be if he has the guts to permanently break out of that mold. Equus and this one is likely going to go a long way to ensure that it won't be that hard.

[Jim]

Chronicle: Four exceptionally unpleasant people get superpowers and the audience is sentenced to watch the results. At least the cheerleader in Heroes was nice. And isn’t it a bit late to cry “We can’t mess around with this! It’s not a game!” when you’ve spent the entire trailer doing just that?

I've seen the previews. I really don't want to see the movie. It looks like the story of four whiny teens who get super powers and take it out on, well, everyone.

Big Miracle: Yet another “cute whale” movie (happily based on true events) that assuages our collective emotional ego and allows us briefly to forget that we are ravaging the oceans beyond hope of recovery.

Stars Drew Barrymore. For me, that's a plus.

Journey 2: The Mysterious Island: This movie is slowly slinking its way around the international schedules without actually being released in the country that made it. Which suggests one of two things: either it is so cerebral and sophisticated that distributors doubt Americans will understand its myriad complexities, or they think we gringos are so stupid that we’ll flock to any piece of US-made crap, as long as it’s in 3D, but Americans have been burnt too many times to fall for that. Guess which option I’m going for.

Uh, I've been seeing commercials for this on the television machine for the past week or two. Opens in theaters Feb 10.

Oh, and "gringos" refers to Anglo-Americans. (It comes from an old song, "Green Grow the Lilacs.")

[Gillianren]

Chronicle: Four exceptionally unpleasant people get superpowers and the audience is sentenced to watch the results. At least the cheerleader in Heroes was nice. And isn’t it a bit late to cry “We can’t mess around with this! It’s not a game!” when you’ve spent the entire trailer doing just that?

For a while, they were playing the trailer obsessively when I was trying to watch The Daily Show online. And you had to click something in order to move on to your programming instead of just going back to the show as God intended. Just for that, I won't watch it, even if it hadn't looked terrible.

The Innkeepers: Whose idea was it to launch a ghost movie the same day as one of the most hyped ghost movies of the year? Trailer does everything wrong that the above trailer does right, so if audiences go for this instead, I am officially divorcing myself from the human race.

This time of year, I'm not watching much of anything in theatres except Oscar nominees, and this certainly isn't one to make me change that.

The Union: I don’t care what you say; if you were a kid in the 80s, you liked Elton John. Sure, today the guy’s mainly famous for overspending on clothes, but this takes us all back to the time when he was an oddly ambisexual clown doing catchy tunes on his piano.

Maybe you know--what on Earth did Sam the Eagle mean on the Elton John episode of The Muppet Show where he kept saying that Elton John dressed like a stolen car?

Best Laid Plans: It seems the UK is only capable of making Edwardian bodice rippers or well’ard gangsta flicks. This ain’t the former.

Is this the one starring That Poor Boy? You want to talk people getting a chance to show if they can act . . . .

Journey 2: The Mysterious Island: This movie is slowly slinking its way around the international schedules without actually being released in the country that made it. Which suggests one of two things: either it is so cerebral and sophisticated that distributors doubt Americans will understand its myriad complexities, or they think we gringos are so stupid that we’ll flock to any piece of US-made crap, as long as it’s in 3D, but Americans have been burnt too many times to fall for that. Guess which option I’m going for.

Graham, alas, actually kind of wants to see it. He's on his own. I saw the Fraser Journey, but I happen to like Brendan Fraser. I like Michael Caine, too, but not enough to suffer through this with him.

He's already demonstrated that he does very well in roles other than Harry Potter, the interesting thing is going to be if he has the guts to permanently break out of that mold. Equus and this one is likely going to go a long way to ensure that it won't be that hard.

Frankly, I think the boy deserved a Best Actor nomination this year. He showed a depth of performance they couldn't have known he would be capable of when they cast him--to be fair, one they couldn't have known he would have needed. He could take Brad Pitt's slot.

Oh, and "gringos" refers to Anglo-Americans. (It comes from an old song, "Green Grow the Lilacs.")

We're not sure; that's etymological guesswork at best. Unfortunately, it seems to be one of those terms which sprang out of nowhere and was suddenly everywhere. Like "Hoosier," and we don't even have a guess as to where that one came from. Or anyway I've heard a few, and they're even less probable than "Green Grow the Lilacs," so far as I'm concerned.

[parallaxicality]

Is this the one starring That Poor Boy?

Is that a Pirates 4 reference? Because he was in that...

Maybe you know--what on Earth did Sam the Eagle mean on the Elton John episode of The Muppet Show where he kept saying that Elton John dressed like a stolen car?

I assume he meant a car that had been... what's the phrase... pimped out.

[Gillianren]

Is that a Pirates 4 reference? Because he was in that...

No, What's-His-Name from Twilight. He's got a not-Twilight movie coming up.

I assume he meant a car that had been... what's the phrase... pimped out.

Hmm. Yes, that makes something approaching sense. More so than anything I've come up with.

[Doodler]

No, What's-His-Name from Twilight. He's got a not-Twilight movie coming up.

Taylor Lautner?

[Gillianren]

Taylor Lautner?

No, the other one. I have no hopes for Taylor Lautner ever since seeing him present at the Oscars a couple of years ago. It was one of the most wooden presentations I've ever seen. But That Poor Boy was Cedric Diggory and not bad at it, but Cedric Diggory wasn't a role which took much effort.

[parallaxicality]

No, it's not Robert Pattinson. He wouldn't be caught dead in a cheap Richie knockoff these days. His career has been inflated by the collective screams of a hundred million teenage girls.

[parallaxicality]

Some more movies out this year that I missed:

2 Days in New York: Julie Delpy directs the sequel to another movie she directed. And cast Chris Rock as her boyfriend. Lucky guy.

Argo: Ben Affleck may not be the best actor or marrier on the planet, but he has shown he can direct. The story is based on an article in Wired entitled "How the CIA Used a Fake Sci-Fi Flick to Rescue Americans from Tehran", which certainly bodes interesting.

Cosmopolis: If you're looking for Robert Pattinson, he's over here, working for David Cronenberg. Now that he has abandoned the body-twisting, head-tripping, stomach-churning art of years past, Cronenberg seems to have lost his muse somewhat. This adaptation of a not-spectacularly received Don DeLillo novel from 2003 does not suggest he will regain it anytime soon.

Dog Fight: Jay Roach who hasn't had a great career of late, but an election comedy starring Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis looks like it might at least be funny.

The Gangster Squad: The director of Zombieland does a crime drama set in 1940s LA. Based on a true story, it could almost be an Ellroy flick. Great cast includes Sean Penn, Josh Brolin, Ryan Gosling and Nick Nolte.

He Loves Me: The creators of Little Miss Sunshine, a film I actually quite liked even though it went out of its way to be disturbing, make their first followup 6 years later. Paul Dano plays a writer who magicks into existence his ideal girlfriend (played by Zoe Kazan, Dano's real life girlfriend, who also wrote the script, oddly enough).

Hyde Park On Hudson: Wow. Bill Murray really looks like FDR. It's from the director of Notting Hill and obviously is aiming for The King's Speech success, as it is about the King and Queen from that flick going to the US to get some help for the big old war going on.

Kill Bin Laden: Katheryn Bigelow's followup to The Hurt Locker had to be substantially retooled when real life kinda stole her plot and ran away with it. But it's still due out this year.

Lincoln: Hm. Didn't know Spielberg's biopic was out this year. I wonder if Daniel Day Lewis gave himself Marfan's syndrome to prep.

Magic Mike: Stephen Soderbergh is unstoppable. Now he's doing a male stripper move.

Nero Fiddled: and Woody Allen slopped his inane personal obsessions on the world again.

Only God Forgives: Nicolas Winding Refn's followup to Drive, set in Bangkok and again starring Ryan Gosling. Cool.

Savages: Say what you like about Oliver Stone, the guy can cut a reel like no one else. And a drug smuggling thriller could see a return to Scarface standard.

The Silver-Linings Playbook : Novel adaptation by David O. Russell (Three Kings, The Fighter) about a mental patient who returns home to his family.

Take This Waltz: A few years back, a little film called Away From Her showed that Sarah Polley was not only a fantastic actress, politically committed, and heart-stoppingly beautiful, she was also an alarmingly good director. Now she releases the second film in her directing career, which concerns infidelity, stars Michelle Williams, and is likely to be as understated and emotional as her first. Also, kudos to her for not putting herself in front of the camera.

Ted: I'll give Seth McFarlane one thing; the guy's a good voice actor. Other than that, I don't really care for his work, so his first live-action movie isn't really an event on my calendar.

The Wettest County: John Hillcoat is a great director, but he hasn't really had a hit to call his own. As usual, this one's a lighthearted, feelgood effervescent bubble of a move about bootleggers struggling through the worst of the Depression. Tom Hardy, fresh from The Dark Knight Rises and Mia Wasikowska, cruelly overlooked this award season, will star.

[Gillianren]

Argo: Ben Affleck may not be the best actor or marrier on the planet, but he has shown he can direct. The story is based on an article in Wired entitled "How the CIA Used a Fake Sci-Fi Flick to Rescue Americans from Tehran", which certainly bodes interesting.

I think he's made some terrible decisions in what movies to make, but I like him more than most people seem to. And those terrible decisions have not yet extended to what movies to direct.

Hyde Park On Hudson: Wow. Bill Murray really looks like FDR. It's from the director of Notting Hill and obviously is aiming for The King's Speech success, as it is about the King and Queen from that flick going to the US to get some help for the big old war going on.

That's some really impressive makeup. I've liked Bill Murray more and more as time has passed. Clearly, the changes are in both of us, but I still don't much care for his early work.

Kill Bin Laden: Katheryn Bigelow's followup to The Hurt Locker had to be substantially retooled when real life kinda stole her plot and ran away with it. But it's still due out this year.

I might catch it on DVD, but I have no real need to see this in the theatre.

Lincoln: Hm. Didn't know Spielberg's biopic was out this year. I wonder if Daniel Day Lewis gave himself Marfan's syndrome to prep.

There's a delightful picture of him online somewhere in full makeup and half-costume (he's wearing jeans), having a cup of coffee in a cafe.

Nero Fiddled: and Woody Allen slopped his inane personal obsessions on the world again.

As of last year, I have started letting myself skip Oscar-nominated movies if I know I'm not going to like them at all. This year's big movie to skip is Woody Allen's current one. Really, why do people keep encouraging him?

Only God Forgives: Nicolas Winding Refn's followup to Drive, set in Bangkok and again starring Ryan Gosling. Cool.

I was impressed with Drive, and I don't even really like Ryan Gosling very much.

Take This Waltz: A few years back, a little film called Away From Her showed that Sarah Polley was not only a fantastic actress, politically committed, and heart-stoppingly beautiful, she was also an alarmingly good director. Now she releases the second film in her directing career, which concerns infidelity, stars Michelle Williams, and is likely to be as understated and emotional as her first. Also, kudos to her for not putting herself in front of the camera.

Away From Her cannot exactly be called underrated, as everyone who saw it raved about it, but no one seems to have seen it! I really thought Gordon Pinsent, however, was underrated, because all the attention went to Julie Christie.

[Mr Gorsky]

So ... is Groundhog Day not getting a sequel the ultimate cinematic irony?

[parallaxicality]

Technically perhaps, though not as much as Highlander getting a sequel.

[parallaxicality]

Late this week, obviously, but there wasn’t much reason to rush

For the week of Friday, 10 February:

The Phantom Menace 3D: Yes. This movie exists.

The Vow: Girl gets amnesia, boy has to make her fall in love with him again. Story’s been told umpteen times, but usually as a comedy. To do it as a drama takes a certain kind of gall, perhaps only possible post-Twilight

Ek Main Aur Ekk Tu : Wow. A Bollywood movie about divorce? Who’da thought? And it’s a comedy? Double wow.

US:

Safe House: Denzel continues his run of smooth talking baddies in another gritty action flick. Vera Farmiga’s also in it, which is nice; Ryan Reynolds is too, which isn’t so much.

The Dish and the Spoon : Not much of a trailer but there is a nice little analysis of the hypocrisy of Thanksgiving.

Buzzkill: Road trip comedy about a self-important writer who decides to chase down a serial killer because he’s run off with his script. Seems to be aiming for a Flight of the Conchords vibe, but lacks a certain sophistication,

Exit Strategy: Self-involved jerk moves in with an unstable woman and now he wants out. Frankly, they deserve each other.

Happy: Documentary about being happy. That’s pretty much it. Not how to be happy, per se, just different ideas of happy.

I Am Bruce Lee: Documentary about a man who has become not so much a legend as an elemental spirit. As such it’s weird to see him actually talking like a normal person I can see Mickey Rourke being a fan but Ed O’Neill?

Kung Fu Joe: I’m not sure if this trailer fails or succeeds too well. It so perfectly captures the look and feel of the crappy 70s exploitation flicks it’s based on that it almost ceases to be parody.

Love: What looks like a Sinospheric answer to Love Actually. I wonder if romance is asdifficult in Taipei and Hong Kong as it is (supposedly) in Tokyo?

Private Romeo: Homosexual adaptation of Romeo and Juliet set in a military academy. Can’t say it works, as Shakespeare’s dialogue simply does not fit that setting.

Return : Movies about soldiers coming back from war are not uncommon these days, for obvious reasons, but Linda Cardellini makes an interesting case, as she finally gets to put all those years emoting on ER to good use. Michael Shannon and John Slattery are good value as well.

The Apple Pushers: Documentary about a plan for New York City to create a kind of mobile library for fruit, bringing healthy food options to those in the inner city who have no access. All power to them, but if Jamie Oliver’s crusade over here is anything to go by, they’ve got their work cut out.

The Turin Horse: beautifully shot (if somewhat heavy handed with the visual metaphors) examination of an old, lonely farmer facing death.

UK

American Evil: made four years ago but released now to capitalise on Bradley Cooper’s fame, this is essentially Rabbit Proof Fence as a ghost story, as ghosts of abused Native American children take their revenge on the white school they were forcibly relocated to. Not getting good reviews.

Girl Model : Given how repellent I find the modelling industry, I’m glad this is a documentary, as I don’t think a drama would do it justice. Actually, as far as exposes of that cesspit go, this was fairly tame, like watching the world’s sexiest cattle market, only with the added discomfort of knowing most of those girls are underage.

[Gillianren]

The Phantom Menace 3D: Yes. This movie exists.

No, there's no good reason for the 3D version to do so. Did you read that George Lucas is telling us all that we're delusional and Han never shot first?

The Vow: Girl gets amnesia, boy has to make her fall in love with him again. Story’s been told umpteen times, but usually as a comedy. To do it as a drama takes a certain kind of gall, perhaps only possible post-Twilight

Done right, there would be a certain amount of pathos to the story. However, the basic premise is so ridiculous that I doubt it could ever be done right.

Safe House: Denzel continues his run of smooth talking baddies in another gritty action flick. Vera Farmiga’s also in it, which is nice; Ryan Reynolds is too, which isn’t so much.

I'm so glad someone else dislikes him. Two of my friends keep saying, "But you have to admit he's really sexy." And no, no, I don't. He's kind of bland.

Happy: Documentary about being happy. That’s pretty much it. Not how to be happy, per se, just different ideas of happy.

This is pretty much the only release this week that I have even a little interest in.

I Am Bruce Lee: Documentary about a man who has become not so much a legend as an elemental spirit. As such it’s weird to see him actually talking like a normal person I can see Mickey Rourke being a fan but Ed O’Neill?

Personally, I have reached the point that I assume that literally all males are Bruce Lee fans until they establish otherwise. With the possible exception of a friend's son. He isn't even two months old yet, so I doubt he's seen any Bruce Lee movies.

Private Romeo: Homosexual adaptation of Romeo and Juliet set in a military academy. Can’t say it works, as Shakespeare’s dialogue simply does not fit that setting.

The dialogue isn't the problem. Are there Montague and Capulet equivalents in military academies? Or are they at, I suppose, rival military academies?

American Evil: made four years ago but released now to capitalise on Bradley Cooper’s fame, this is essentially Rabbit Proof Fence as a ghost story, as ghosts of abused Native American children take their revenge on the white school they were forcibly relocated to. Not getting good reviews.

It doesn't surprise me. The reason Rabbit Proof Fence was so effective was that it was real.

[ToSeek]

No, there's no good reason for the 3D version to do so. Did you read that George Lucas is telling us all that we're delusional and Han never shot first?

http://farleftside.com/2012/2-10-2012-star-wars-3D.html

[Gillianren]

I saw the special editions, because I had up until that point never seen the movies on the big screen. (I was born literally months before the first one came out, and the third one came out just months after my father died; Mom didn't take us, and in retrospect, I'm glad.) And I saw the prequels, though I disgraced myself laughing during the third prequel. But I see no need to watch the prequels ever again, and certainly not any need to waste the money to see them in 3D.

[Jim]

Did you read that George Lucas is telling us all that we're delusional and Han never shot first?

Yeah, well, someone's delusional.

... I assume that literally all males are Bruce Lee fans until they establish otherwise.

Allow me to establish otherwise.

I'm sure he was a fantastic actor, but I just never got it.

[Gillianren]

Yeah, well, someone's delusional.

I have a sneaking suspicion that he's going to get a sharp dose of reality on this one, because I don't think many people are going to bother going to see a movie few people actually seem to have liked very much in an almost universally reviled format--not 3D per se, but post-production 3D.

Allow me to establish otherwise.

I'm sure he was a fantastic actor, but I just never got it.

Fair enough. I've only seen one or two of his movies (for reasons having nothing to do with him personally), and he's not bad, but "fantastic" is definitely overselling it.

[Doodler]

Eh, to those poking sharp mental objects at The Vow, it's based on a true story. Saw an interview with the happy couple earlier this week. What that someone's signature around here says, "Fiction has to be plausible, reality has no such restrictions"?

[Doodler]

http://www.firstshowing.net/2012/wat...-hits-the-web/

Osama bin Laden as patient 0 zero in a zombie flick...

I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry at this one. Settled for laughter. We'll see how it goes.

[parallaxicality]

Starting late, so my comments will not be as well thought out as usual.

For the week of Friday, 17 February:

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance: I’m going to reveal just how sad I am: I happen to remember that at the end of Ghost Rider, Nic Cage renounced the Devil and swore that he would use his power to fight injustice in the world. So why is he saying “I don’t save people” in the trailer? And should he still have that chain, seeing as he’s no longer tied to the Devil? And if the Devil wants to be this little kid, why did he bother being Peter Fonda? Oh I dunno.

US:

This Means War: Two CIA killers fight each other over the same woman. And it’s a comedy. One of those premises out of which a good movie could only be crafted by a master. Not a word I would apply to whoever threw this together. Did I just see a plane full of people explode? LOL.

All Things Fall Apart: A relatively noble endeavour for 50 Cent; given that his video game involved him ordering his homies to beat his promoter to death for losing the concert takings. Originally called Things Fall Apart, until someone remembered that Chinua Achebe was still alive (that someone being Achebe).

The Secret World of Arietty: OK, I still don’t like that American actress playing Arietty, or the golly-gee-willikers-oh-what-fun-we’re-the-last-of-our-race-living-in-a-world-of-terrors US rework, but still I say, if you see only one animated film this year, make sure it’s this one.

Thin Ice : What is the appeal of film noir? I’ve never understood it. Basically it involves idiots doing inexcusable things, without the charm and panache needed for the audience to root for them. And then when inexcusable things have unintended consequences, as inexcusable things are prone to do, they can’t even outrun their own stupidity, producing a denouement consisting of forgone conclusion after forgone conclusion, ending with the aforesaid idiots destroying not only themselves, but usually several innocents as well. Exactly what is the audience supposed to get out of it?

On The Ice: Post-30 Days of Night, Barrow, Alaska appears to be becoming quite the hip cinematic locale. It’s something of a testament to modern technology that such a place can even exist. While it has a few noir-ish elements, unlike the similarly titled film above, this piece feels more tragic than stupid, as the characters appear to be acting for, if not good, then at least empathisable reasons.

Undefeated: Documentary about an inner city football team with a 14 year losing streak that’s turned around by an inspirational coach. Which makes the title somewhat ironic but then, who is a disabled sports-hating couch potato like myself to argue?

Bullhead: You may make some bad decisions in your life but I beg you, however bad things may look, never smuggle hormones out of Belgium.

Cirkus Columbia : Drama/comedy (I think) about a shady patriarch who returns to Bosnia right before the war. So that’s timing for you. His life falls apart as his country falls apart, though given that, by this time, several of his fellow countrymen were literally being taken apart, a guy with a Mercedes and a hot girlfriend isn’t doing too badly.

Doonby: A mysterious drifter with apparently superhuman qualities wanders into a small town of close ties and dark secrets. Tell me if you’ve heard this one before. But hey, John Schneider’s always fun.

Michael : Drama (thankfully) about a guy who traps a man in his basement for months. Probably inspired by recent events in the German-speaking world. Of course, maybe all that says about our Teutonic brethren is they’re more easily caught.

Project S.E.R.A : A first for this thread: not the trailer, but the entire movie. Of course, said movie is only 11 minutes long, and essentially consists of clips from CSI, 24, and Snyder’s Dawn of the Dead, but hey, it’s free.

More tomorrow.

[Gillianren]

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance: I’m going to reveal just how sad I am: I happen to remember that at the end of Ghost Rider, Nic Cage renounced the Devil and swore that he would use his power to fight injustice in the world. So why is he saying “I don’t save people” in the trailer? And should he still have that chain, seeing as he’s no longer tied to the Devil? And if the Devil wants to be this little kid, why did he bother being Peter Fonda? Oh I dunno.

Seriously, don't get me started. And Graham is actually kind of surprised at how terrible the reviews are.

This Means War: Two CIA killers fight each other over the same woman. And it’s a comedy. One of those premises out of which a good movie could only be crafted by a master. Not a word I would apply to whoever threw this together. Did I just see a plane full of people explode? LOL.

I've seen a lot of movies in the theatre in the last couple of weeks, and I've seen the trailer for this one before several of them. And it looks terrible. I also keep thinking about what a total waste of government resources the plot requires and how the punchline had better be that the two guys get fired at the end of the movie.

The Secret World of Arietty: OK, I still don’t like that American actress playing Arietty, or the golly-gee-willikers-oh-what-fun-we’re-the-last-of-our-race-living-in-a-world-of-terrors US rework, but still I say, if you see only one animated film this year, make sure it’s this one.

I want to go because I think watching it in the theatre will encourage them to release Ghibli movies in the US a little faster; remember that this came out months ago in Japan.

Thin Ice : What is the appeal of film noir? I’ve never understood it. Basically it involves idiots doing inexcusable things, without the charm and panache needed for the audience to root for them. And then when inexcusable things have unintended consequences, as inexcusable things are prone to do, they can’t even outrun their own stupidity, producing a denouement consisting of forgone conclusion after forgone conclusion, ending with the aforesaid idiots destroying not only themselves, but usually several innocents as well. Exactly what is the audience supposed to get out of it?

If it's done right, the main character does have at least some charm and panache. Especially when played by Humphrey Bogart. The problem, I think, is that it's one of those genres which is really, really easy to screw up. A good film noir hero isn't stupid. He's just a little bit behind everyone else and trying to play catch-up. Done right, the issue is that the hero is missing certain bits of information which everyone else assumes he has. Those bits will almost invariably be the most important things in the situation, of course, because isn't that always the case? And ideally, the audience will either think, "Yes, I've been in situations where I've felt like that" or else just want to see the worst of the characters suffer their downfall. When you are watching The Maltese Falcon, you know that it isn't going to have a happy ending. That it simply can't. But the ending can be happier than the situation implies, and you're hanging on to see Sidney Greenstreet and Peter Lorre get their comeuppance.

Bullhead: You may make some bad decisions in your life but I beg you, however bad things may look, never smuggle hormones out of Belgium.

Noted.

[parallaxicality]

A good film noir hero isn't stupid. He's just a little bit behind everyone else and trying to play catch-up. Done right, the issue is that the hero is missing certain bits of information which everyone else assumes he has. Those bits will almost invariably be the most important things in the situation, of course, because isn't that always the case?

Then why do people love Coen noirs? In those, the noir heroes are nearly always stupid.

I want to go because I think watching it in the theatre will encourage them to release Ghibli movies in the US a little faster; remember that this came out months ago in Japan.

19 months ago.