'No evidence' for extraterrestrials, says White House

[Nicolas]

The White House building is an alien? Is it cooperating with the lamps, then?

Actually the lamps are White Houses in disguise. The White House is their default form, but they are shapeshifters.

[LookingSkyward]

Madness! The real power is with the LAMP!!

[Fazor]

Ah, see? The petition was poorly worded. They said there's no "evidence", because evidence would be clues *pointing toward* the existence of aliens. They don't have "evidence", because the *know* aliens exist. Therefore, it's not "evidence" it's "proof."

Or something. Did I earn my foilhat merit badge yet?

[nosbig5]

No, no, no. No self-respecting alien would agree to spend his time here on earth disguised as a low-level dweeb. It's the secret service that we have to watch out for. They are always armed, dress alike and wear dark glasses to conceal their glowing eyes. And part of their role is to stay close to the important people, so they are always within mind control distance.

[Gomar]

And what if the government has been in contact with aliens? so what? What if the Ruskies are in possession of an alien space ship
that crashed in Tunguska in 1908? What if Adam&Eve were alien colonists? what if Jesus was an alien doctor? What if the messiah
that everyone is waiting for is in fact an alien visitor? What if we receive an alien radio message tomorrow?

Again, so what? How's that going to help anyone on Earth?

[Strange]

It depends what the message from the aliens is.

Aliens: "We bring you great knowledge"
Humans: "yes..."
A: "How to avoid war, poverty, hunger and strife"
H: "Yes. Yes. Tell us more!"
A: "Be nice to one another"
H: "...."
H: "Is that it?"

At this point, the humans started throwing various improvised missiles at the aliens, who rapidly withdrew

[mfumbesi]

.....I'm running out of exclamation points!!!!

You can use my quota, I have 6 exclamation that you can use! Sorry 5.

[Noclevername]

You can use my quota, I have 6 exclamation that you can use! Sorry 5.

Thanks!!!!!