But as we're all adults and she's married, all I can do is hope for the best. She's trying to get her husband to see that their minister and denomination are controlling and abusive; all the earmarks of a cult. They reside in Ontario, far from me; so I can't give any real-life supportiveness.
She is saying their pastor will accuse her of "trying to lead him (husband) away" like Eve led Adam astray. Oh yes, there will be massive guilt induction directed especially towards the husband. Their pastor doesn't ask you to do something, he TELLS you. And you're expected to fall in line. Etc.
This reminds me of the church my husband was involved with when we were dating, and first married. I pointed out to him that its minister was abusive and taking advantage of him; those people made *trouble* for us, until husband did see the validity of my points and left.
My friend's situation is striking very close to home. The only difference is I wasn't involved in my husband's church(es).
Anyway, I'm concerned for her AND seeing red. The indication is the pastor is already onto her, trying to thwart and interfere/manipulate. I reinforced my friend's resolve and certainty: Husband and herself are adults, a minister isn't supposed to be dictator, husband's first priority is HER happiness -- not another man's! Especially when the pastor is truly only concerned about keeping continued control over 2 people (and their $$$) which he would otherwise lose.
Just blowing off some steam here. I hope she succeeds, because it's a bad situation. Friend tells me her husband is his own man; I hope so, and that he won't cave to pressure from the preacher and stay there.