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Thread: We don't need no stinkin' Untrue Facts! (!!!)

  1. #2161
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    Quote Originally Posted by ABR. View Post
    Further comments along these veins will result in infarctions being handed out.

    Applause, everyone!

  2. #2162
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    The random shredding is the best feature of this email program.

  3. #2163
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    Virtual knights wear email.

  4. #2164
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    Email is the future energy armour, which protects against the strongest firearm and melee weapon.

  5. #2165
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    emale will soon make men redundant.

  6. #2166
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    Effective 1 April 2012, we have added rule -1 to the BAUT rules, which requires that the beatings continue until morale improves.
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

    All moderation in purple - The rules

  7. #2167
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    As of today, all shellfish is no longer trayf.
    Information about American English usage here and here. Floating point issues? Please read this before posting.

  8. #2168
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    Being naturally generous, the word 'shellfish' does not apply to me.

  9. #2169
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    Emperor Pickles announced today that he was stepping down as governor of West Dakota. The governor stated only he was stepping down for personal reasons so he could pursue other opportunities.

    And in business news, AG Pet Toy Industries announced that they had received a $600 million order for pet squeaky toys, the largest single order in the firm's history. Their stock rose from $20.57 at the opening to close at $73.63.
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

    All moderation in purple - The rules

  10. #2170
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    Emperor Pickles has a winter house in Atkins, Arkansas.
    So many bugs, so little time.

  11. #2171
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    The Third District Court in Boston has ruled that the species known previously as the Black Footed Ferret must now be called the Black Feeted Ferret.
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

    All moderation in purple - The rules

  12. #2172
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    Quote Originally Posted by Swift View Post
    The Third District Court in Boston has ruled that the species known previously as the Black Footed Ferret must now be called the Black Feeted Ferret.
    This is not to be confused with colloquial terms for ex-ferrets: the Black Fated Ferret, or, depending upon how recent the demise, the Black Fetid Ferret.
    So many bugs, so little time.

  13. #2173
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    And many former ferret homes in Dakota are
    being advertised. Tuneful words about going
    back to the black holes of that place are on
    the airwaves. Its the beautiful Buy One
    country that someone loves.

  14. #2174
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    The Libber Tea Company went out of business shortly after hiring Patrick Henry as slogan writer.

  15. #2175
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    There's a polar bear in our bathtub.

  16. #2176
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    The popular use of black lights for scorpion spotting has had a horrifying unintended consequence. Researchers have found that prolonged exposure to black lights has allowed scorpions to "charge" a hitherto unknown organ in the scorpion tail. This gland can then discharge, through the stinger, a pulsed coherent beam of UV radiation. In effect, the scorpion can now sting at a distance. Fortunately, this gland takes time to recharge and most scorpions still prefer to physically sting human toes as they always have.
    So many bugs, so little time.

  17. #2177
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    There is a nonpolar bear floating on the surface our bathtub. Adding some detergent may help solubilize him.

  18. #2178
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    The Polar Bear smoothies at the Nome (Alaska) Inn are worth the trip.
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

    All moderation in purple - The rules

  19. #2179
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    Polaroid bears develop much faster than true polar bears.
    So many bugs, so little time.

  20. #2180
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    Quote Originally Posted by ABR. View Post
    Polaroid bears develop much faster than true polar bears.
    Don't you need to shake the cubs for them to develop?

    I believe that was the origin of the musical line "shake, shake, shake; shake, shake, shake; shake your beary, shake your beary".
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

    All moderation in purple - The rules

  21. #2181
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    It has been believed by many in the past that comets cause gum disease, locusts, and bad referee calls during football matches.
    At night the stars put on a show for free (Carole King)

    All moderation in purple - The rules

  22. #2182
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    It was recently determined that locusts are the immature form of ferrets.
    Information about American English usage here and here. Floating point issues? Please read this before posting.

  23. #2183
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    Canada-Bye, bye, Penny. In order to cut down on syndication costs outside of the US, the producers of The Big Bang Theory have decided to digitally remove the character Penny from their hit show. The move will only affect the current and subsequent seasons. No word yet on how this will be handled in DVD releases.
    So many bugs, so little time.

  24. #2184
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    I invented the wheel.

  25. #2185
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    Well this thread looks like fun. Let me start with some low-hanging fruit.

    The registration emails go out quickly.

  26. #2186
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    Luxembourg is the tidiest country in the world thanks to having a ten letter name.

  27. #2187
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    I know next to nothing about Luxembourg, but I know that having a civil war would be nearly impossible there since the northerners and the southerners have so much in common. Since it would be confusing to figure out who was north and who was south the two sides have agreed never to have a war like that.

  28. #2188
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    FarmMarsNow knows too much about Luxembourg, noted for future reference in the event of civil war.

  29. #2189
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    The civil war that has recently broke out in Luxembourg appears to be between fans of Gilles Müller and Mandy Minella.
    Information about American English usage here and here. Floating point issues? Please read this before posting.

  30. #2190
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    The Easter Lux. civil war interestingly was not North vs South but East versus West (as the crow flies) and the trigger issue was what percentage of cocoa permits the description "Chocolate Bunny" for foil wrapped giftware in airports.

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