Can I just interrupt to point out that the "wanted to close the Patent Office" thing is an urban legend? As it happens, the guy it's generally said about, whose name I don't remember, actually asked Congress for more employees, since the Patent Office was busier than ever.
"Now everyone was giving her that kind of look UFOlogists get when they suddenly say, 'Hey, if you shade your eyes you can see it is just a flock of geese after all.'"
"You can't erase icing."
"I can't believe it doesn't work! I found it on the internet, man!"