I can't stand the phrase "MY PLEASURE!" anyone else feel the same way?

[Tom Servo]

I love Chick-fil-a.
The food is awsome
The restaurants are always clean
The employees are nice.

Hey I would eat there everyday if they were open on Sundays.

But there is one thing that really really really bothers me.
If you thank the employees for anything their standard response is a very awkward sounding "My Pleasure"
It seems like a lot of places are trying to force everyone to say this, but I know for sure that they have to say it at Chick-fil-a.

This sounds very out of place to me.

Me: Hi can I have some napkins please.
Employee: Sure, here you go.
Me: Thanks
Employee: Its my pleasure....

It always sounds awkward and as if they are brainwashed to have to say that phrase.

All I can think is "what are they going to fire you if you say you'r welcome?"


Arrggg I can't stand it, it sounds like the wrong response to me. Sort of like
Me: "Hi how are you"
Someone: "absolutely"

Unless if you are saying its a pleasure to meet you or meeting you was my pleasure I cant stand this phrase it really just Irks me to hear it.

Does anyone else think the same way or am I just unrespectful.

[Moose]

Some of the more pedantic etiquette types have suggested that anything other than "you're welcome" is rude, but they never seemed to get around to explaining why that is.

To answer your question, no, it doesn't bother me. Not even a little. The sentiment is welcome and appreciated, no matter the specific words used to express it. I've never seen much reason to ritualize respect and courtesy. I'd rather live it than ape it.

[AndreasJ]

But surely having every employee say "my pleasure" is precisely aping and ritualizing it?


I have no experience of the chain in question, but I tend to get annoyed at mechanically delivered policy greetings et sim., so I instinctively sympathize with Tom's annoyance.

[Moose]

But surely having every employee say "my pleasure" is precisely aping and ritualizing it?

Yes, very much so.

I sympathize slightly, however, in that chains like Chick-fil-a (or McDonalds, or Taco Bell, or Subway, etc, etc, etc) are about standardizing the experience. The intent is that getting a Whopper in Cincinnati should be exactly (and I mean _exactly_) like getting one in Lisbon, language needs aside. When we perfect cloning or androids, fast food and family restaurants will be the very first civilian customers. It's entirely plausible to me that Skynet and the fall of civilization will be caused by Starbucks.

I suspect that ritualizing a (normally warmer and more casual) "my pleasure" rather than "you're welcome" only serves to call attention to the fact that it's been ritualized, which I suspect is a significant part of Tom's annoyance. It would me if I'd experienced it.

But I was more responding to the title of the thread than the OP itself. I have no problem with "my pleasure" as an expression of courtesy, so long as it's genuine.

[TheOncomingStorm]

Yes, very much so.

I sympathize slightly, however, in that chains like Chick-fil-a (or McDonalds, or Taco Bell, or Subway, etc, etc, etc) are about standardizing the experience. The intent is that getting a Whopper in Cincinnati should be exactly (and I mean _exactly_) like getting one in Lisbon, language needs aside. When we perfect cloning or androids, fast food and family restaurants will be the very first civilian customers. It's entirely plausible to me that Skynet and the fall of civilization will be caused by Starbucks.

I suspect that ritualizing a (normally warmer and more casual) "my pleasure" rather than "you're welcome" only serves to call attention to the fact that it's been ritualized, which I suspect is a significant part of Tom's annoyance. It would me if I'd experienced it.

But I was more responding to the title of the thread than the OP itself. I have no problem with "my pleasure" as an expression of courtesy, so long as it's genuine.

One thing that really bothered me about working at a call center was that you had to treat every call the same even if it was like the third call from the same person that night and just wanted to book the room. You had to start from the top all over again.

Moose, call centers will be right after fast food places for clones.

[uncommonsense]

Multi-million dollar companies should not leave courtesy and customer service standards at the discretion of each individual minimum waged employee. That's part of the reason they have become multi-million dollar companies.

[mike alexander]

"My pleasure" is on the creepy side. It implies an internalization of feelings I strongly suspect most of those saying it are not actually experiencing. "You're welcome" is our acknowledgement reply and seems perfectly adequate.

[Argos]

Sometimes that phrase may be reflecting a sincere feeling. I canīt see why I should be bothered.

[Jeff Root]

Moose,

Fabulous analysis!

David,

Treat your supervisors the same way you treated callers....

-- Jeff, in Minneapolis

[PetersCreek]

I once worked for a realty firm as their office manager. The owner...a thoroughly unpleasant troll...insisted that staff answer the phone with "Thank you for calling Xxxxxxx Properties"...nothing less, nothing more. Well, the way I delivered it along with the quality of my voice led folks to think it was the intro to an automated phone menu. After I gave the standard greeting, there was frequently a long pause while the caller waited to be told which button to push.

[TJMac]

I suspect some marketing genius, or someone decided it would make them "stand out" from the competition, if the employees all used that particular phrase. Or perhaps somehow it would make it seem that you had a finer dining experience because your simply being there to be served, had made the servers happy.

[grant hutchison]

I suspect there's a cultural thing going on, too. I find "you're welcome" jarringly odd. I'm "welcome" when I arrive on the premises, presumably. When I say thank-you for a napkin, I don't expect that to be reiterated; it seems curiously non-responsive:
"Thanks for the napkin."
"We're glad to have you here."

Grant Hutchison

[Gillianren]

Moose, call centers will be right after fast food places for clones.

They'd replace 'em all with robots if it were possible. It's just that there are some things the automated system can't handle yet. (Clones, after all, would end with the same problems as clones had their own experiences.) My boyfriend has just left for a full day of being yelled at by people having problems with their cell phones that aren't his fault and are pretty likely to be their own.

I use "my pleasure" sometimes when it is, genuinely, my pleasure to do something. I will also say "no problem" occasionally, though mostly "you're welcome" or even "you're quite welcome." Of all the courtesies, or not, how people respond to "thank you" is not my biggest issue. At least they're responding at all; a lot of people don't.

[Gillianren]

I suspect there's a cultural thing going on, too. I find "you're welcome" jarringly odd. I'm "welcome" when I arrive on the premises, presumably. When I say thank-you for a napkin, I don't expect that to be reiterated; it seems curiously non-responsive:
"Thanks for the napkin."
"We're glad to have you here."

Add "to it" after the phrase in your mind. You're welcome to the napkin; you may have it.

[grant hutchison]

Add "to it" after the phrase in your mind. You're welcome to the napkin; you may have it.

Yes. It's just a cultural thing, as I said: in my part of the world, while one may be welcome to a place or to a situation, one is not usually welcome to small objects. "You're welcome to use this napkin" is fine; "You're welcome to this napkin" is not. It conjures up images of street celebrations while I tearfully accept the napkin after a long napkinless sojourn. (I'm not criticizing or mocking the usage itself, just reporting the oddly jarring effect it has on those who are unused to it.)

Grant Hutchison

[Buttercup]

I could understand "It's my pleasure" for a swanky sort of restaurant.

But fast food? Seems a bit pretentious. "You're welcome" should suffice, imo.

[Moose]

They'd replace 'em all with robots if it were possible. It's just that there are some things the automated system can't handle yet.

Microsoft's come closest, I think. When you change enough hardware on an XP machine, they start making you call in and use a voice recognition menu system. You have to read in a code they give you on the activation site, five or six groups of four digits at a time, and IIRC, at no point do you "press 1 to...". Only then will it hand you off to some guy named Jeevan... I mean... Michael, where you get to explain to them that yes, it's the original machine with upgrades (not that it's any of their business) and no, you're not grey-marketing it (like that's any of their business either).

After I talked to them three or four times (no, I'm not going to be nagged into buying XP again if I can help it, not that their crappy disks don't deteriorate on their own after a year or two), they've set my account so it'll do activations on the web again.

[danscope]

I should like each and every one of us to put ourselves into the shoes of the people who serve us each day, and often for a lot less money than we would like for ourselves...... and to have to babysit and attend way too many people who are totally into themselves( not that there's anything wrong with that) and have to open ticking bombs all day. Yes... ticking bombs. I don't care how bad your day is or whether your car got scratched or your phone just ran out of power. Give these people a break. MOST of them are just trying to be nice. You could smile and bid them "good day" . It doesn't hurt.
When I go to a restaurant, I tell the waitress " This is the best restaurant in town!" . You know something; they most often spend their time on me and prove that it is. Occasionally, I have a problem with the food. I do it as nice as I can. YOU GET BETTER RESULTS this way.
Think well and long about this. Take your ego and squeeze it down to a better size. It will fit better, and you will live better.
And that's ........ the truth.
No one has a license to be an egomaniac. Nuff said.

[Gillianren]

Well, yes; I've said that the best solution to almost any problem is to be polite. However, we are not here complaining to the people with whom we have the problem. We are venting, which is not a bad thing. I am friendly with several people who check out my groceries or work at a local fast food place, to the extent that I'll wait in longer lines to be in theirs. And having worked in fast food--I wouldn't say most of them are trying to be nice. Most of them are trying not to get fired.

[kleindoofy]

I agree with the OP about the displacement.

"My pleasure" would be appropriate in situations in which you could replace it with "the pleasure is all mine," without it sounding awkward.

When asking for and receiving a napkin, one cannot really say "oh, thank you, that was just wonderful, I really enjoyed that." In a situation in which that would be a reasonable response to the service, "the pleasure is all mine" or "my pleasure" would be a fitting answer.

"My pleasure" probably came to English from the French "mon plaisir" which is also present in German as "das Vergnügen ist ganz meinerseits."

As for ritualistic sayings which, as the OP wrote "really really really bother" me, "thanks for the memories" is at the top of my list.

[SeanF]

Some of the more pedantic etiquette types have suggested that anything other than "you're welcome" is rude, but they never seemed to get around to explaining why that is.

Not to self-identify as a pedantic etiquette type, but I'll take a shot at an explanation.

Pretty much all of the alternatives to "you're welcome" - "no problem," "don't mention it," "it's my pleasure," etc. - carry with them the implication of "you should not be thanking me."

"You're welcome" is, as Mike said, an acknowledgement. It accepts the other person's thanks. The alternatives implicitly dismiss them, and that's why it's rude. It trivializes the other person's feelings - you're basically saying, "You're wrong."

It's much the same as that the only non-rude reaction to a compliment is to simply say, "Thank you." For many people, modesty compels them to deflect the compliment by saying something like, "It was nothing," or even "you flatter me." Again, it trivializes the complimenter's feelings.

Now, I don't think that anybody actually thinks this way - no one intends offense by saying, "Don't mention it," and no one takes offense at receiving it. But it is somewhat implicit in the language.

[DrRocket]

.

"My pleasure" would be appropriate in situations ...

Yes, it depends on the context.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-bsf2x-aeE

[Spoons]

Maybe they can just say, "No sweat."

[Jeff Root]

Sean,

More really good analysis!

Thunk you!

-- Jeff, in Minneapolis

[Jens]

"My pleasure" is on the creepy side. It implies an internalization of feelings I strongly suspect most of those saying it are not actually experiencing.

How do you feel about French people meeting new people and saying "enchante"? On one level, it seems creepy beyond belief. Imagine saying that you're delighted to meet a person who may be a mass murderer for all you know.

To me, insincerity seems a fundamental part of those kinds of transactions. I mean in Hawaiian they use "aloha" which means "love." Surely they can't be so . . . And in Arabic people often use salaam which means "peace." I mean, these are just formulas and I don't think too much thought should be given to the literal meanings.

Actually, Japanese is kind of interesting in this regard. A lot of the formulas have pretty nonsensical meanings. The well-known "sayonara" literally means "if that is so." And "konnichiwa" means "this day." "Arigato" means "it is difficult to happen."

Actually, it sometimes irritates me when American cashiers say the obligatory "have a nice day" but it doesn't bother me when people say "good-day" or "bonjour," which mean the same thing. So I suppose we're allowed to have our non-rational annoyances.

[Tom Servo]

I should like each and every one of us to put ourselves into the shoes of the people who serve us each day, and often for a lot less money than we would like for ourselves...... and to have to babysit and attend way too many people who are totally into themselves( not that there's anything wrong with that) and have to open ticking bombs all day. Yes... ticking bombs. I don't care how bad your day is or whether your car got scratched or your phone just ran out of power. Give these people a break. MOST of them are just trying to be nice. You could smile and bid them "good day" . It doesn't hurt.
When I go to a restaurant, I tell the waitress " This is the best restaurant in town!" . You know something; they most often spend their time on me and prove that it is. Occasionally, I have a problem with the food. I do it as nice as I can. YOU GET BETTER RESULTS this way.
Think well and long about this. Take your ego and squeeze it down to a better size. It will fit better, and you will live better.
And that's ........ the truth.
No one has a license to be an egomaniac. Nuff said.

About three years ago I was the guy taking your orders, being your waiter, and sacking your groceries. Iv'e done just about all the minimum wage jobs that are out there.

I can't agree with you more about cutting these guys some slack.

My problem is with the phrase My pleasure. It seems way too unatural to say this after giving someone a napkin. It just brings back bad memories of a boss making you do something ridiculous because he beleives its what everyone in the world subconsciously wants.

To me this phrase is just sounds like the wrong response. It sounds weird and extremely forced and it seems to imply that deep down this person just received pleasure for handing a napkin to me instead of feeling a mutual apreciation for the thanks.

Originally Posted by Gillianren
They'd replace 'em all with robots if it were possible. It's just that there are some things the automated system can't handle yet

They have already replaced the local movie store with big red movie vending machines. At least in my area its already happened. I hope the stupid machines never tell me about the pleasure they just recieved. The day a machine tells me "its my pleasure" is the day I start arming myself because apparently the machines now have souls and can experiece emotions. Soon they will become self aware and rebel against us.

[AndreasJ]

Now, I don't think that anybody actually thinks this way - no one intends offense by saying, "Don't mention it," and no one takes offense at receiving it. But it is somewhat implicit in the language.

When I was younger I sometimes did. I'm better socialized now, but I may still seethe inwardly when people thank me for stuff I don't think they should be thanking me for.

[grant hutchison]

Pretty much all of the alternatives to "you're welcome" - "no problem," "don't mention it," "it's my pleasure," etc. - carry with them the implication of "you should not be thanking me."

"You're welcome" is, as Mike said, an acknowledgement. It accepts the other person's thanks. The alternatives implicitly dismiss them, and that's why it's rude. It trivializes the other person's feelings - you're basically saying, "You're wrong."

My dour Scottish upbringing taught me that the correct way to acknowledge thanks was simply to make eye contact, smile and nod. Likewise for a compliment, although of course that occasion rarely arose .
That probably contributes to the odd jarring sensation I get when someone says, "You're welcome": the phrase is just sitting in the wrong context, for me.

Grant Hutchison

[DrRocket]

My dour Scottish upbringing taught me that the correct way to acknowledge thanks was simply to make eye contact, smile and nod. Likewise for a compliment, although of course that occasion rarely arose .
That probably contributes to the odd jarring sensation I get when someone says, "You're welcome": the phrase is just sitting in the wrong context, for me.

Grant Hutchison

Generally with an act as trivial as being given a restaurant napkin, "than you", "my pleasure" and "you're welcome" are simply considered to be polite noises, and little attention is given to the words themselves.

Very few people carry a copy of the OED into McDonald's to analyze the etymology of the words from the staff.

[Fazor]

Generally with an act as trivial as being given a restaurant napkin, "than you", "my pleasure" and "you're welcome" are simply considered to be polite noises, and little attention is given to the words themselves.

I agree. To me, anyway, it's more how something's said. If they put the effort in to at least sound friendly, that's all. I mean, I've worked jobs like that. And I still work in a field that is mostly customer relations. I know that very few of these people are actually happy to serve you. Hell, most of them probably turn around and talk about you the second you leave. But as long as they put the effort in to seem friendly, that's what matters.

. . . the ones that are genuinely happy to help you (particularly servers or food service employees) always come off as creepy to me anyway. You're really happy to go get me that 13th refill on my drink? Really? Why?