Giant waterballoon theory of the universe!

[Ben Benoy]

I'm pretty sure that the universe was created as a form of twisted punishment for a naughty deity. I know this sounds a little wacky, but hear me out.

Since we're showing that the universe was created by design, we can ignore relativistic effects. /phpBB/images/smiles/icon_wink.gif So let us ponder...

There are about 10⁸⁰ atoms in the universe, and in one mole of water there are 3 moles of atoms, two hydrogen, one oxygen. So we get 1.8044 * 10²⁴ atoms in the mole of water, or 5.54 * 10⁵⁵ moles of water. The molecular weight water is 18, so each mole masses 18 grams, so it takes up 18 cubic centimeters of volume, or .018 L.

Multiplying, we get:

5.54 * 10⁵⁵ moles * 1.8 * 10^-2 L/mole * 1 * 10^-3 m³/L = 9.97 * 10⁵⁰ cubic meters of water.

If this were a sphere, and since we all know water is incompressible /phpBB/images/smiles/icon_wink.gif, we can work out it's radius:

4/3 * pi * r³ = 9.97 * 10⁵⁰

so r³ = 2.38 * 10⁵⁰

so r = 6.19 * 10¹²

This radius is almost exactly 41 astronomical units! Do you see the significance of this fact? Recently a Kuiper belt object (the first?) was discovered at precisely this distance from the sun. (Link: Kuiper belt object (http://earth.agu.org/revgeophys/muhlem01/node6.html)) We have all heard that Kuiper belt objects are icy bodies (http://www.nature.com/nsu/010524/010524-16.html). Clearly this cannot be a coincidence.


Here's what I'm pretty sure happened, some time before the universe as we know it was created, a younger, more mischevious deity was going to throw a water balloon at Its progenitor. This water balloon was quite large by our standards, 41 astronomical units. When the progenitor discovered this devious scheme, the progenitor transmogrified all of those atoms into the more familiar ones we now know, and spread them out around the universe (those wily deities!). The composition and distance of the Kuiper belt is obviously a subtle clue as to the origins of our universe. I'm only surprised that no one has noticed before me.

I suspect it's because of the inherently conservative and Marxist tendencies of the scientific intelligensia, who suppress unpopular ideas which may threaten their priviledged place in society. They are after all prejudiced against the little man. The little man like me. (Figuratively speaking of course. Lady BA readers are cordially invited to my place for cocktails. /phpBB/images/smiles/icon_wink.gif ) I think it is particularly telling that I have been as yet unsuccessful in getting my discovery published in any of the reputable scientific journals. But eventually the time will come when my findings are reluctantly accepted with the respect that they deserve.

Ben Benoy



<font size=-1>[Fixed Coding ]</font>


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Ben Benoy on 2002-04-01 23:03 ]</font>

[Silas]

I love it! I want to be just like you when I grow up!

Silas

[David Simmons]

On 2002-04-01 22:59, Ben Benoy wrote:
I'm pretty sure that the universe was created as a form of twisted punishment for a naughty deity. I know this sounds a little wacky, but hear me out.
...

If this were a sphere, and since we all know water is incompressible /phpBB/images/smiles/icon_wink.gif, we can work out it's radius:

...
so r = 6.19 * 10¹²

This radius is almost exactly 41 astronomical units! Do you see the significance of this fact? Recently a Kuiper belt object (the first?) was discovered at precisely this distance from the sun ... Clearly this cannot be a coincidence.

Here's what I'm pretty sure happened, some time before the universe as we know it was created, a younger, more mischevious deity was going to throw a water balloon at Its progenitor. This water balloon was quite large by our standards, 41 astronomical units. When the progenitor discovered this devious scheme, the progenitor transmogrified all of those atoms into the more familiar ones we now know, and spread them out around the universe (those wily deities!). The composition and distance of the Kuiper belt is obviously a subtle clue as to the origins of our universe. I'm only surprised that no one has noticed before me.

I suspect it's because of the inherently conservative and Marxist tendencies of the scientific intelligensia, who suppress unpopular ideas which may threaten their priviledged place in society. They are after all prejudiced against the little man. The little man like me. (Figuratively speaking of course. Lady BA readers are cordially invited to my place for cocktails. /phpBB/images/smiles/icon_wink.gif ) I think it is particularly telling that I have been as yet unsuccessful in getting my discovery published in any of the reputable scientific journals. But eventually the time will come when my findings are reluctantly accepted with the respect that they deserve.

Ben Benoy



Where's JW when we need him?

[Simon]

Let's see... It fits known facts, it makes predictions which can be tested... Beautiful!! We have a new Theory of Everything! /phpBB/images/smiles/icon_wink.gif I will have to discuss that with my Physics professor, pity my university doesn't have a cosmology department...

[Chip]

On 2002-04-02 13:41, Simon wrote:
"...pity my university doesn't have a cosmology department..."


With this theory, who needs cosmology? /phpBB/images/smiles/icon_wink.gif

[ToSeek]

On 2002-04-02 13:41, Simon wrote:
Let's see... It fits known facts, it makes predictions which can be tested... Beautiful!! We have a new Theory of Everything!

Yeah, it's got numbers and exponents and everything! How can it not be true?

[DStahl]

I agree. This is brilliant. To build upon this theory, as we all know string theorists hypothesize that 7 spatial dimensions exist as tiny, shrivelled-up balls. This is similar to the behavior of my nice wool sweater that went through a hot wash in our washing machine. Given the abundance of water in the universe, not to mention the primordial heat evidenced by the CBR, I suspect that the fabric of spacetime was deformed by some early cleaning mistake.

I suggest we search for a tag, sewn into the fabric of spacetime with a cosmic thread, which might read:

<CENTER>This universe is made of

100% virgin matter/energy

<U>Dry clean only</U></CENTER>

--Don Stahl

[Wiley]

I think it is particularly telling that I have been as yet unsuccessful in getting my discovery published in any of the reputable scientific journals. But eventually the time will come when my findings are reluctantly accepted with the respect that they deserve.

I go away for a few days and the mysteries of the universe unfold: the universe dressed in new clothes.

But I'm still sceptical. Ben, perhaps if you write a book and sell it for $79.99 plus shipping I and other near-sighted defenders of the scientific establishment may become believers. A video would be even better. /phpBB/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Wiley on 2002-04-03 13:24 ]</font>

[Ben Benoy]

I have actually written a book, but the powers that be broke into my apartment and stole it. So the going has been a little slow. However, I will shortly starting the rewrite process, and I'm planning on offering to let people proofread for a small nominal fee. I'll put you on my list? /phpBB/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif

Ben

[Art Vandelay]

It was my understanding that there would be no math...

[ToSeek]

On 2002-04-03 13:22, Wiley wrote:
But I'm still sceptical. Ben, perhaps if you write a book and sell it for $79.99 plus shipping I and other near-sighted defenders of the scientific establishment may become believers. A video would be even better. /phpBB/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif



And be sure to mention just how much money it cost you to produce the video, since that's an indication of how believable it should be.

[Ben Benoy]

I have recently discovered an error in my original calculation. However, I have chosen to ignore this fact and charge blithely ahead. For the record, though, I cannot divide. The actual radius of the primordial water balloon was on the order of 20 parsecs. I'm not yet sure what the significance of this new information is. I will surely let you know when I do.

Ben Benoy

As a side note, if the entire universe were a black hole, its Schwarzschild radius would be 1.55 * 10¹¹ lightyears. This is also a mysterious number. More later.

[David Hall]

You know, this finally explains it. I always thought the universe was all wet. Now we know why. /phpBB/images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

So, any idea what the cosmic pin that splattered this thing was?