Revenge of the never ending woowoo game

[Paul Beardsley]

not to do

[FarmMarsNow]

bopp ddoo wahh

[Frog march]

again; for it

[PraedSt]

seeks its rewenge

[FarmMarsNow]

until tomorrow and

[Mellow]

only then will

[starcanuck64]

you find enlightenment

[jfribrg]

that you seeketh

[FarmMarsNow]

diligently until tomorroweth

[Frog march]

. Why is it

[PraedSt]

looking at me

[Frog march]

said paranoid Jake

[PraedSt]

, adjusting his tin-foil

[jfribrg]

lined athletic cup

[Mellow]

to the left

[FarmMarsNow]

and why is

[Frog march]

my neighbour plotting

[PraedSt]

the best route

[Eric Vaxxine]

out of town?

[PraedSt]

"Townie" refers to

[Eric Vaxxine]

certain people who

[jfribrg]

won't leave town

[Eric Vaxxine]

ever. They're born

[FarmMarsNow]

not in hospitals

[Eric Vaxxine]

smelling of disinfectant

[PraedSt]

, but in sewers

[Frog march]

mutant rats try

[PraedSt]

to surf the

[Frog march]

internet, but have

[PraedSt]

no wi-fi down

[Paul Beardsley]

or other feathers.

[FarmMarsNow]

And speaking of

[peteshimmon]

what horses deposit

[PraedSt]

, what happened to

[jfribrg]

horse dung banks?

[Paul Beardsley]

I don't know.

[FarmMarsNow]

You seek Yoda

[Mellow]

, Yoda you seek.

[PraedSt]

Yoda's horse was

[Frog march]

feeling grumpy and

[jfribrg]

decided to deposit

[PraedSt]

a week's worth

[Frog march]

of his grumpiness

[PraedSt]

on Professor Snape's

[Paul Beardsley]

grave (oops, spoilers!)

[Frog march]

doubts about the

[FarmMarsNow]

value of i-pads

[PraedSt]

since the demise

[Noclevername]

of previous letters

[PraedSt]

to his lover

[Noclevername]

of fine wine

[PraedSt]

and edible fungi

[Paul Beardsley]

and fun gal

[Noclevername]

-axy watchers' society

[Eric Vaxxine]

failed. Everyone's talking

[PraedSt]

through their noses

[Frog march]

can sound a

[jfribrg]

trumpet-like warning

[PraedSt]

to herd members

[peteshimmon]

to Porrima quickly

[Eric Vaxxine]

enough to avoid

[PraedSt]

the smelly odours

[Eric Vaxxine]

of decaying old

[starcanuck64]

randomly strewn socks

[Paul Beardsley]

and other puppets

[Eric Vaxxine]

made of meat

[Paul Beardsley]

and two veg.

[PraedSt]

Cassius the Carrot

[Paul Beardsley]

, a fortnight dead,

[peteshimmon]

a secret ingredient

[Paul Beardsley]

to those who

[starcanuck64]

find tofu bland

[PraedSt]

(let's face it,

[Paul Beardsley]

tofu is really

[PraedSt]

really, really horrible)

[Paul Beardsley]

here's some advice:

[Noclevername]

don't eat tofu

[FarmMarsNow]

from NASA because

[PraedSt]

they add diapers

[Mellow]

to the mix

[Paul Beardsley]

(an improvement, actually)

[jfribrg]

, plus other assorted

[FarmMarsNow]

nutrients and fibers

[Noclevername]

frozen o-ring rubber

[starcanuck64]

as a laxative

[FarmMarsNow]

or starter fluid

[PraedSt]

for my lawnmower

[Noclevername]

or ultralight aircraft

[jfribrg]

, made from upsidasium,

[Noclevername]

from Frostbite Falls,

[Mellow]

bought online. Cabbages

[Frog march]

are here to

[Mellow]

become our masters

[peteshimmon]

beyond this event....

[starcanuck64]

we can speculate

[PraedSt]

the cauliflowers' reaction

[Paul Beardsley]

if we wish

[Noclevername]

upon a star

[Paul Beardsley]

but it makes

[emmylou]

believing really hard

[Paul Beardsley]

whoever you are

[Noclevername]

standing next to

[emmylou]

the polar bear

[PraedSt]

seal-clubbing factory

[Paul Beardsley]

aka The Hacienda

[PraedSt]

where Mancunians dance

[Eric Vaxxine]

very badly. Occasionally

[FarmMarsNow]

mathematical or chemical

[Eric Vaxxine]

professors sing kareoke

[Paul Beardsley]

while Ian Curtis

[Eric Vaxxine]

look-a-like's queue up

[Paul Beardsley]

to sing "Love

[Eric Vaxxine]

Shack". They also

[Paul Beardsley]

sing "Love Will

[Eric Vaxxine]

Keep Us Together"

[Paul Beardsley]

but in reverse.

[Eric Vaxxine]

Mr Curtis, however

[Noclevername]

refuses to sing

[Eric Vaxxine]

after Wednesday because

[Paul Beardsley]

Deborah keeps moaning

[Eric Vaxxine]

in her sleep

[starcanuck64]

about high taxes

[Eric Vaxxine]

and shopping Mall

[FarmMarsNow]

escalator warning signs

[Paul Beardsley]

and feeding Natalie

[Frog march]

Portman hypnotic drugs.

[Noclevername]

Making her see

[Frog march]

Hayden Christensen in

[Noclevername]

psychadelic color patterns

[Graham]

with kaleidoscope eyes

[FarmMarsNow]

(and Hugo Weaving)

[Noclevername]

...a nice sweater

[Frog march]

unravelling in rainbow

[Mellow]

made of cheese

[Noclevername]

, silk from milk,

[Frog march]

a Wotsit jumper

[Noclevername]

jumping the Wotsit,

[Frog march]

an obscure Olympic

[PraedSt]

sport, handed down

[Paul Beardsley]

with great reluctance

[Noclevername]

by Greek gods

[FarmMarsNow]

slightly forgetful unfortunately

[jfribrg]

, because their rule

[Noclevername]

ended long ago

[PraedSt]

when the Titans

[Noclevername]

met the Clash

[Mellow]

and rocked the

[Noclevername]

Casbah, on Olympus

[Eric Vaxxine]

Mons. Never forget

[PraedSt]

your wife's birthday,

[Eric Vaxxine]

and buy her

[Paul Beardsley]

back from kidnappers

[Eric Vaxxine]

for under $1000

[Paul Beardsley]

(plus a cake)

[FarmMarsNow]

on her birthday.

[Paul Beardsley]

Nobody reads books

[Frog march]

that have been

[Paul Beardsley]

published by Skua

[Frog march]

Droppings Publications inc

[Paul Beardsley]

despite critical acclaim

[Eric Vaxxine]

that went unnoticed

[PraedSt]

by other seabirds

[Frog march]

, obsessed with chips

[Eric Vaxxine]

and fish. Occasionally

[FarmMarsNow]

pyrethrins from chrysanthemums

[Sarawak]

would clear the

[FarmMarsNow]

field of mosquitoes

[Frog march]

thus enabling sunbathers

[Paul Beardsley]

to sunbathe comfortably,

[FarmMarsNow]

in the sunlight

[Eric Vaxxine]

every Thursday. Sometimes

[Noclevername]

when we touch,

[Frog march]

I can feel

[FarmMarsNow]

earth's tiny vibrations

[peteshimmon]

as neutrinos speed

[Noclevername]

on the highway

[Frog march]

to the love-shack

[Noclevername]

raided by police

[Frog march]

because a sasquatch

[Noclevername]

turned states' evidence

[peteshimmon]

with silly STUPID

[Noclevername]

shenanigans going on

[FarmMarsNow]

and everyone agrees

[Noclevername]

loving a shack

[Frog march]

is fairly typical

[Noclevername]

criminal behavior that

[Frog march]

results in awkward

[Noclevername]

to explain splinters

[Eric Vaxxine]

usually. My rash

[emmylou]

was spreading down

[Noclevername]

the old highway

[Eric Vaxxine]

infecting the locals.

[FarmMarsNow]

Use a Q-tip

[Eric Vaxxine]

or soft stick

[Noclevername]

to clean the

[Eric Vaxxine]

ears, but avoid

[Noclevername]

swelling or redness

[Sarawak]

which are signs

[Frog march]

of allergic reactions

[Sarawak]

which are resistant

[jfribrg]

to toxic waste

[Sarawak]

unless first treated

[Paul Beardsley]

to a cup

[Frog march]

of Horlicks which

[Sarawak]

are named after

[jfribrg]

horses that lick

[Sarawak]

Angelina Jolie

(if you want, Google it, but the more prudish might not like what they find)

[FarmMarsNow]

Auld Saint Nickolaus

[Frog march]

had one too

[FarmMarsNow]

many cookies so

[Eric Vaxxine]

frequently, he's grown

[swampyankee]

heirloom sweet corn

[jfribrg]

instead of whiskers

[Frog march]

, which made him

[Paul Beardsley]

the man he

[swampyankee]

wanted to be

[Frog march]

and a dog's

[peteshimmon]

Oh come on!

[Eric Vaxxine]

best friend. Despite

[swampyankee]

disliking squirrel sushi

[Paul Beardsley]

(which doesn't exist)

[Eric Vaxxine]

ends here. Nowadays

[Frog march]

banana milkshake from

[Eric Vaxxine]

a tin is

[FarmMarsNow]

a sundae dessert

[jfribrg]

eaten on Saturdaes

[Eric Vaxxine]

mostly. Woo-woo's don't

[Frog march]

woo a woo.

[Eric Vaxxine]

Wooing a woo-woo

[Noclevername]

, first call "woooooo!"

[Frog march]

.
It was a

[Sarawak]

long time before

[Noclevername]

you were born,

[Sarawak]

but old folks

[Frog march]

can still remember

[Mellow]

the first time

[FarmMarsNow]

and last time

[Frog march]

they had a

[Noclevername]

Great Woo Hunt

[Sarawak]

without a permit

[Eric Vaxxine]

to hunt. Despite

[emmylou]

being able to

[Eric Vaxxine]

make people laugh,

[emmylou]

with their tales

[Eric Vaxxine]

about space visitors

[emmylou]

with three heads

[Eric Vaxxine]

and one arm

[Sarawak]

to scratch the

[FarmMarsNow]

back of another

[Sarawak]

space visitor, who