Revenge of the never ending woowoo game

[PraedSt]

with hotel ghosts

[Noclevername]

by night vision

[PraedSt]

which cats have

[Noclevername]

, which is why

[FarmMarsNow]

road reflectors are

[Paul Beardsley]

not quite as

[Noclevername]

shiny as cats

[Paul Beardsley]

but shinier than

[FarmMarsNow]

porcupines. Shepherd's Bush

[Paul Beardsley]

is a euphemism

[Noclevername]

for Cowboy's Shrub

[jfribrg]

, which itself is

[Noclevername]

in the desert

[PraedSt]

with a horse

[Noclevername]

with no name

[Paul Beardsley]

- no clever name -

[PraedSt]

, smart Mr Breadsley

[FarmMarsNow]

and limited rain

[Paul Beardsley]

and absolutely no

[Noclevername]

giant Arrakis sandworms

[PraedSt]

with crystalline teeth

[Noclevername]

flossed every day

[Paul Beardsley]

by enthusiastic Fremen

[Noclevername]

with minimal losses

[Frog march]

of infantry men

[Noclevername]

who climb into

[FarmMarsNow]

Shepherd's Bush's hedges

[Paul Beardsley]

(another euphemism for

[PraedSt]

the black hole)

[Paul Beardsley]

were being sheared

[PraedSt]

by calico cats

[FarmMarsNow]

(furry Fremen felines)

[Noclevername]

high on spice

[Frog march]

,avoiding the worms

[PhysicsJM32]

,the creatures who

[Paul Beardsley]

don't like water

[Noclevername]

but drink Guiness

[Frog march]

to toast the

[Noclevername]

bread golden brown

[Mellow]

texture like sun.

[Paul Beardsley]

Walking on the

[Frog march]

surface of a

[Noclevername]

small dwarf planet

[Frog march]

one gets the

[FarmMarsNow]

desire to catch

[Noclevername]

a bus to

[FarmMarsNow]

the sunny side

[Paul Beardsley]

up egg shop

[starcanuck64]

before twelve noon

[Paul Beardsley]

because some customers

[Frog march]

wear StarTrek costumes

[Paul Beardsley]

and VoyageToTheBottomOfTheSea swimsuits

[didyou seewhat Ididthere?]

[Frog march]

that reveal everything



(I have no idea what you did there)


eta: are you going berserk?

[Noclevername]

to airport security

[PraedSt]

who full-body scan

[Paul Beardsley]

anyone they fancy.

(If someone was going berserk, how could you tell on this thread?)

[Eric Vaxxine]

'Self-frisking' at airports

[Frog march]

can be fun

[Paul Beardsley]

for those who

[Frog march]

suffer from DID

[PraedSt]

because they associate

[Mellow]

the act with

[Frog march]

being enveloped by

[PraedSt]

a warm blanket

[starcanuck64]

of wet toiletpaper

[Paul Beardsley]

or something similar

[PraedSt]

that broke through

[Paul Beardsley]

when poked hard

[emmylou]

with a screwdriver

[Eric Vaxxine]

or monkey wrench.

[emmylou]

The next day

[Noclevername]

Speaking of monkeys,

[emmylou]

my nephew looks

[Eric Vaxxine]

behind the fridge

[emmylou]

and sees the

[Eric Vaxxine]

meaning of life......

[emmylou]

shocked he faints

[Eric Vaxxine]

briefly. Upon awaking

[emmylou]

he realises that

[Eric Vaxxine]

life's fun. Then

[emmylou]

the monkey appeared

[Eric Vaxxine]

again, the neighbours

[emmylou]

looked and laughed

[Eric Vaxxine]

as their monkey

[emmylou]

was running around

[Eric Vaxxine]

in circles and

[emmylou]

yelling "BITE ME"

[Eric Vaxxine]

while swinging on

[emmylou]

the apple tree

[Eric Vaxxine]

which then broke

[emmylou]

a bird flew

[Eric Vaxxine]

the heavens opened

[emmylou]

and out jumped

[Eric Vaxxine]

George Michael Jackson !

[emmylou]

Its a miracle

[Eric Vaxxine]

that anyone's interested

[emmylou]

in this thread

[Eric Vaxxine]

at all, because

[emmylou]

it is silly

[Eric Vaxxine]

but....I'm here.......!!!!

[emmylou]

This makes me

[Eric Vaxxine]

feel so feminine

[PraedSt]

I could cry

[Frog march]

"the hills are

[PraedSt]

alive with the

[Noclevername]

inbred mutant family

[Frog march]

of ninja turtles."

[Noclevername]

Opposed by pirates

[Frog march]

Captain Frank went

[PraedSt]

ashore to find

[Noclevername]

island cannibals eating

[Frog march]

croissants and marmalade

[FarmMarsNow]

with potato chips.

[Noclevername]

Cannibals usually eat

[PraedSt]

smelly feet for

[Noclevername]

they don't bathe,

[Paul Beardsley]

but these cannibals

[Noclevername]

were Fine Young

[Paul Beardsley]

Buzzcocks cover artists

[Noclevername]

who eat people.

[Paul Beardsley]

Surprisingly, people taste

[Noclevername]

nothing like chicken

[Paul Beardsley]

unless they're covered

[Noclevername]

in barbeque sauce

[Paul Beardsley]

with bits of

[Noclevername]

beaks and feathers

[Paul Beardsley]

mixed in. Conversely,

[PraedSt]

on moonlit nights

[Frog march]

, when all is

[PraedSt]

quiet, turkeys begin

[Noclevername]

sharpening their knives

[PraedSt]

on unobtainium blocks

[Noclevername]

floating above them

[Mellow]

all the while.

[Paul Beardsley]

Yesterday, Venus was

[PraedSt]

bedridden with a

[Paul Beardsley]

rather unsightly rash

[Frog march]

on its nose.

[Paul Beardsley]

Coincidentally, Uranus had

[Frog march]

an orbit so

[starcanuck64]

bizarre it left

[Paul Beardsley]

its wallet behind

[starcanuck64]

in it's rush

[PraedSt]

to catch the

[starcanuck64]

first bus to

[PraedSt]

Jamaica, where it

[Noclevername]

partied all night

[Paul Beardsley]

in an enormous

[Noclevername]

big yellow bus

[PraedSt]

which got clamped

[Frog march]

in aisle 3

[Noclevername]

(which was painful)

[Paul Beardsley]

but nobody minded.

[PraedSt]

Peter robbed Paul

[FarmMarsNow]

in broad daylight.

[Paul Beardsley]

Paul punched Peter

[Frog march]

where it hurt

[Paul Beardsley]

his cousin most

[PraedSt]

, right in the

[Frog march]

side of his

[Noclevername]

newly renovated drywall.

[Paul Beardsley]

"Let that be

[Eric Vaxxine]

an answer.' Suddenly

[Noclevername]

a gunman enters!

[Eric Vaxxine]

His Elvis outfit's

[Frog march]

two sizes too

[Paul Beardsley]

cute for words.

[Eric Vaxxine]

'...Less Conversation, more

[Paul Beardsley]

Banana Nebula pictures!'

[Eric Vaxxine]

The gunman......stares

[FarmMarsNow]

down his enemy

[jfribrg]

with kalaidascope eyes.

[PraedSt]

They threw pancakes

[Frog march]

all over the

[PraedSt]

laser control panel

[Paul Beardsley]

to no effect.

[Frog march]

The effect they

[Noclevername]

were trying to

[Mellow]

achieve was cardboard

[Noclevername]

bursting into flame

[FarmMarsNow]

like pine needles

[jfribrg]

soaked with tachyons.

[FarmMarsNow]

Superluminal pancake violation:

[Paul Beardsley]

please report to

[FarmMarsNow]

the principal's office

[Noclevername]

for appropriate discipline

[Frog march]

and maple syrup.

[jfribrg]

By the way,

[Paul Beardsley]

I've nearly finished

[PraedSt]

my cup of

[Frog march]

pangalactic gargleblaster and

[Eric Vaxxine]

baked babel fish,

[FarmMarsNow]

(drunken babel fish)

[Eric Vaxxine]

not forgetting the

[Paul Beardsley]

whatchamacallit, where was

[Noclevername]

I going again?

[Eric Vaxxine]

You're going to

[Paul Beardsley]

listen to Morrisey

[Eric Vaxxine]

and Bananarama whilst

[Frog march]

writing a letter

[Eric Vaxxine]

of thanks to

[FarmMarsNow]

suede headed Sam

[Eric Vaxxine]

and sidekick called

[PraedSt]

Veronica Vaccine, who

[Mellow]

vaccinates anything moving.

[Paul Beardsley]

For non-moving things,

[PraedSt]

apply Fleming's right-hand

[Paul Beardsley]

unless he objects

[FarmMarsNow]

with objects of

[emmylou]

mirrors that reflected

[PraedSt]

on the events

[Mellow]

that unfold before

[Noclevername]

the mirrors themselves

[jfribrg]

shattered their reflected

[PraedSt]

images across the

[FarmMarsNow]

valley immobilized by

[Paul Beardsley]

the wilderness's vigil

[PraedSt]

on drying paint

[FarmMarsNow]

containing microscopic spheres

[PraedSt]

designed to attack

[Mellow]

the nervous system.

[FarmMarsNow]

of tree frogs

[starcanuck64]

leaving them limp

[Paul Beardsley]

as a biscuit

[PraedSt]

that's been dunked

[Paul Beardsley]

by a farmer's

[FarmMarsNow]

biscuit dunking hand

[Paul Beardsley]

into a cup

[FarmMarsNow]

of frog limpium-ite

[PraedSt]

, an obscure beverage

[Paul Beardsley]

found in only

[FarmMarsNow]

chemically obsessed towns

[Paul Beardsley]

where farmers sell

[PraedSt]

snow to penguins

[Paul Beardsley]

at a profit

[PraedSt]

of galactic proportions

[starcanuck64]

Raising concerns of

[Eric Vaxxine]

many. Supposing a

[Paul Beardsley]

YouTube video proved

[Eric Vaxxine]

penguins buy snow,

[Paul Beardsley]

Charlie bit me,

[PraedSt]

just for fun

[Eric Vaxxine]

not for real

[Paul Beardsley]

but to deny

[Eric Vaxxine]

it's not funny

[PraedSt]

is a sin

[Paul Beardsley]

of the highest

[Frog march]

order, and you

[Paul Beardsley]

must repent at

[Frog march]

leisure, and try