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Sarawak
2012-May-21, 12:28 PM
backblast from the jetpack welded the scissors open

Jetpacks are awesome. (Not a silly sentence, but I had to say it.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgdIE2t8QkM

LookingSkyward
2012-May-21, 12:33 PM
need hi-temp scissors...videos is awesome!

Sarawak
2012-May-21, 02:53 PM
Never hit a guy with glasses. Always use your fists.

LookingSkyward
2012-May-21, 02:56 PM
or rocks. rocks are good. or scissors

Sarawak
2012-May-21, 02:58 PM
Especially on velociraptors. Which when differentiated are acelleraptors.

LookingSkyward
2012-May-22, 08:11 AM
or displaceoraptors - they're tricky, but not to be confused with apatosaurus

Sarawak
2012-May-22, 11:39 PM
I only sing in the shower. I would join a choir, but I donít think my bathtub can hold that many people.


LookingSkyward
2012-May-23, 12:25 PM
Help me Coely-wan Kenobi! You're our only hope!

Sarawak
2012-May-23, 12:32 PM
Hang him Obi-wan Kenobi! You've got our only rope!

LookingSkyward
2012-May-23, 12:59 PM
Wring 'em dry, Obi-wan Kenobi! He's been rinsed of soap!

Sarawak
2012-May-24, 12:39 PM
Obi-wan, obi-two, obi-three, obi-four, can I have a little more?

LookingSkyward
2012-May-24, 12:56 PM
the staplerians now have officially declared docu-war on the paper-clipriots. The post-it notarians are remaining neutral.

Sarawak
2012-May-26, 11:31 PM
The resulting paper cuts are too horrible to behold.

LookingSkyward
2012-May-29, 01:24 PM
We can only hope that there is no strategic escalation to scissors or (gasp) the SHREDDER!

Sarawak
2012-May-29, 02:26 PM
Better dead than shred!

LookingSkyward
2012-May-29, 02:29 PM
Staple removers on the rampage - see the photos on the 'Guess what this' is thread!

Sarawak
2012-May-29, 05:20 PM
Guess what this kid shred!

LookingSkyward
2012-May-30, 07:56 AM
Once the foxes caught all the dream-mice under my bed, they snuck out into the living room to eat the fish and torment the turtle

Sarawak
2012-May-31, 12:01 AM
Rain, rain, go away, come again, the very same day.

LookingSkyward
2012-May-31, 08:03 AM
periodicity between raindrops, or drop-cluster-events?

Sarawak
2012-Jun-01, 03:46 PM
A silly sentence can be both true and silly.

Zentisan
2012-Jun-01, 05:14 PM
Snipers are really bad at football.

Sarawak
2012-Jun-01, 05:23 PM
They're quite good at backgammon though.

LookingSkyward
2012-Jun-04, 08:37 AM
frontgammon, however, requires rugby players

Sarawak
2012-Jun-04, 03:16 PM
I beez in the trap!

LookingSkyward
2012-Jun-05, 07:42 AM
trap successful, start melting the butter

Zentisan
2012-Jun-06, 08:59 AM
Butter side up, Butter side down, any which way, I am ok with my toast.

LookingSkyward
2012-Jun-07, 09:52 AM
corn dogs, corn dogs, yummy yummy yummy!

peureux
2012-Aug-07, 11:25 PM
the bean hopping sautee learned to race my uncle when i saw the dry leg leaning towards the umbrella on a half day

Noclevername
2012-Aug-07, 11:33 PM
Mars needs wombats!

peureux
2012-Aug-07, 11:38 PM
when washing your toes don't forget the oyster crumbs

LookingSkyward
2012-Aug-08, 07:33 AM
The oyester crumbs are not in my toes...

peureux
2012-Aug-08, 11:56 AM
singing flipflops always walk around the bay slowly

LookingSkyward
2012-Aug-08, 02:31 PM
Many toads make for slurpy soup

Swift
2012-Aug-08, 02:46 PM
OH MY GOD, Curiosity has DANCE FEVER! Someone get me a mix tape!

LookingSkyward
2012-Aug-09, 08:11 AM
Disco like Johnny 5!

Swift
2012-Aug-09, 06:37 PM
Plinga, plinga, plinga.

Swift
2012-Aug-10, 02:04 AM
In space, no one can hear you make little chirping sounds

LookingSkyward
2012-Aug-10, 07:32 AM
I point and laugh at oyester crumbs that make little chirping sounds

peureux
2012-Aug-10, 08:18 PM
This guy walked backwards and sang I Just Wanna Be Your Everything in monotone? I think we need to take him off of the waiting list.

Noclevername
2012-Aug-10, 10:13 PM
Twas Brill Creme, and the minnow's toes did mire and whimper at the waves,

All flimsy were the borrowed hose, except my grandmother, who rides a little red tricycle.

LookingSkyward
2012-Aug-13, 07:15 AM
I loved that red trike! Now I know who has it...

Noclevername
2012-Aug-14, 09:51 PM
The Squirrel Mafia is coming for YOU!

FarmMarsNow
2012-Aug-14, 11:41 PM
What is not commonly known is the Squirrel Mafia is part of Sandy Squirrel's past, but she doesn't chatter about that now.

Noclevername
2012-Aug-15, 12:05 AM
That's nuts, I can't make heads or tails of it.

LookingSkyward
2012-Aug-15, 08:34 AM
My cashews! Where have they gone???

Noclevername
2012-Aug-15, 10:10 AM
Cashew later, almond my way out.

Zentisan
2012-Aug-15, 03:02 PM
Moths and Butterflies have a lot in common. I know.

Noclevername
2012-Aug-15, 03:32 PM
Will the Mome Raths please pick up their tricycles in parking lot D.

LookingSkyward
2012-Aug-16, 08:14 AM
I thought NCN's gramma had my trike...???

Swift
2012-Aug-16, 03:33 PM
Joe, give your sister her left index finger back RIGHT NOW or so help me, I was turn this Spanish Galleon RIGHT AROUND. Just wait till Flemblorg, the Minor God for Sibling Transgressions hears about this!

LookingSkyward
2012-Aug-17, 09:26 AM
If that cat gets into the bag one more time, I'll feed it to the zombie ferrets

Sarawak
2012-Nov-17, 02:58 PM
Help, the ferrets are back!

LookingSkyward
2013-Apr-17, 02:01 PM
Herbivorous dinosaurs died out because they did not have cheese sauce, and no one will eat cycad without cheese sauce

Swift
2013-Apr-17, 03:18 PM
I have seen zombie threads burning on the shores of the Sea of Que.

Noclevername
2013-Apr-17, 04:57 PM
Don't crush that dwarf, hand me the pliers.

Swift
2013-Apr-17, 06:48 PM
Puff the Magic Draggon, lived by the Si
And polyp in the auto Myst
In a land called Wounded Knee

Noclevername
2013-Apr-20, 07:46 PM
I thought NCN's gramma had my trike...???

There's more than one tricycle in the world, LS, It's not all about you.

LookingSkyward
2013-Apr-22, 08:50 AM
No i'm gonna pout

Noclevername
2013-Apr-22, 08:56 AM
Pout, pout, let it all out, these are the things that we post about.

Swift
2013-Apr-23, 02:28 AM
Mrs. Poodle, would you bring me my dog cabbage?

LookingSkyward
2013-Apr-23, 10:39 AM
Potatos! They will revolutionize punkin chunkin!

DukePaul
2013-May-02, 04:29 PM
USC astronomy student was expelled today for saying "shooting star" causing a lockdown of the campus till police could check all stellar masses for firearms.

LookingSkyward
2013-May-03, 11:56 AM
Grandma, the hamsters are sliding through the apple butter!

Swift
2013-May-03, 12:59 PM
Grandma, the hamsters are sliding through the apple butter!
That's fine. Now, you dip them in the flour, put them on a baking sheet, and bake for 35 minutes in a 350 degree oven.

LookingSkyward
2013-May-03, 01:09 PM
Grandma, the hamster fritters are exploding in the oven!

Buttercup
2013-May-03, 01:14 PM
Grandma, the hamster fritters are exploding in the oven!

Lol!!! :)

Deep-ocean clouds are prettiest at 1:13 a.m.

Swift
2013-May-03, 01:50 PM
I have, for some time now, pondered the vast absorbance of the dichromic Doppler shift, and realized, in that small furry place that we call Montana, that the vast sum of creation is best expressed, as best as we humans can express it, by the classified ads of the Village Voice, particularly the ads for giant, saber-toothed hamsters.

DukePaul
2013-May-03, 04:36 PM
A daily increase of vitamin c promotes infinite mass and renewed velocity.

Swift
2013-May-03, 05:30 PM
Does a poem,
have to rhyme.
Or even make sense.
As the carrots of the sky,
lie quivering beneath the newly fallen pretzels.

Noclevername
2013-May-03, 10:22 PM
And it always pretzels when I forgot my umbrella.

Noclevername
2013-May-03, 10:41 PM
How Long? is a book, and Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear.

DukePaul
2013-May-05, 01:25 PM
"smack, Heil!...smack, Heil!.....smack, Heil!" I hate it when Nazis chew gum.

LookingSkyward
2013-May-06, 09:32 AM
Real ones, from my family this weekend:
"Was that your nose, my ear, or the cat?" - following a little squeaky noise, with all of us having sinus problems.

At the beach, the discussion regards whether to sit on a log or the small round pebbles making up the beach...
"Well, the rocks are softer than the wood, and also closer to the ground..."

starcanuck64
2013-May-06, 06:20 PM
In no way is my left nostril responsible for the recent seismic activity in Sumatra.

Noclevername
2013-May-06, 08:45 PM
We all asked Dan to do the marshmallow voice.

LookingSkyward
2013-May-07, 08:47 AM
The penguin reacted badly to the brandy, proptly launcing into lark-like song

DukePaul
2013-May-07, 07:48 PM
I don't care if your cat is sixteen we are not buying him a car.

Swift
2013-May-07, 07:52 PM
I have become Bob, eater of muffins!

LookingSkyward
2013-May-08, 08:23 AM
The Kales (yes, even the Brussels sprouts) are vastly intellectually superior to soy. No Kale has ever been Tofued.

Swift
2013-May-08, 12:56 PM
A tofu and his money are soon partied.

LookingSkyward
2013-May-08, 01:09 PM
Toe Fu as practiced by the Chow Mein monks is the reason they wear no socks

Swift
2013-May-08, 06:11 PM
"No socks!" cried Mrs. Badger, as she completed the on-line survey for a chance to win a date with the Third Epoch of the Tungsten Dynasty.

LookingSkyward
2013-May-09, 12:52 PM
"No Socks!" Cried Swift. "You are permanently banned!"

Swift
2013-May-09, 02:58 PM
Ladies and gentlemen, friends and relatives, and all you freshmen mothers and fathers, and their parents... its the only band banned in Providence; its the Brown Band, in Providence.

LookingSkyward
2013-May-10, 09:47 AM
The krill! The krill in my jello are revolting!

Noclevername
2013-May-16, 01:01 AM
I doff my derby to the dedicated detectives of Denver for discovering the dangerous dancing dandelions from Delaware.

Swift
2013-May-16, 02:36 AM
Finally, a faintly fluorescent phrasing of fun form, formalized in the fixation on a frivolous framing of phonetics.

LookingSkyward
2013-May-16, 08:38 AM
pastel windows shining on the small frog

Swift
2013-May-16, 01:15 PM
The spammers are still the best at this. I just killed this gem:


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Noclevername
2013-May-16, 01:19 PM
All your base thumping statistics are belong to us.

LookingSkyward
2013-May-17, 08:42 AM
back in my day, a fellow had to dag his own darned nabbits! Kids today :[

Swift
2013-May-17, 01:15 PM
I was darning a nabbit and almost ran out of yarn, but luckily Big Don came along and he has lots of yarns, so now I've made some very nice nabbits, which I were going to give to Buttercup, since she likes nabbits, but Joshua made her wall come a tumbling down.

LookingSkyward
2013-May-17, 01:23 PM
I was darning a nabbit and almost ran out of yarn, but luckily Big Don came along and he has lots of yarns, so now I've made some very nice nabbits, which I were going to give to Buttercup, since she likes nabbits, but Joshua made her wall come a tumbling down. absolutely fantastic, Swift!

Noclevername
2013-May-17, 11:01 PM
I went to school with Dag Nabbit, swore like a sailor but otherwise a heck of a guy.

Swift
2013-May-18, 02:14 AM
My uncle Mike could sail like a swordsmen.

Noclevername
2013-May-18, 02:15 AM
My uncle Mike could sail like a swordsmen.

The Dread Pirate Mike?

Swift
2013-May-18, 02:05 PM
"Bob", I said to Bob, "Bob, have you ever sailed on an ocean so deeply blue that the canvas of your asparagus was completely put forth upon a proposition that the third retaining bolt of airplane glue was left stranded on my wife's 1963 Buick LeSabre".

Noclevername
2013-May-18, 10:54 PM
Unicycline negates Hot Tamale indicted mailman braid freeness.

Noclevername
2013-May-20, 09:06 AM
The toll is one goat per goat.

Inclusa
2013-May-21, 07:13 AM
The empirical empire only uses experimental umpires.

Swift
2013-May-21, 11:58 AM
And Allentown scores a basket with only 3.5729 minutes left on the clock in the 11th quarter of play; Bob Flem, their Left Forward Goalstop is really on his game today and the wicket is really flying off his elbows.

FarmMarsNow
2013-May-21, 11:32 PM
It was a very scientific drawer full of scientific things in a scientific room inside of a scientific house that moved about on the legs of a chicken and controlled by a girl who lived in a world scientifically not too different from our own.

LookingSkyward
2013-May-22, 09:07 AM
and then the zombie goldfish came and ate my brain

Noclevername
2013-May-22, 10:59 AM
And then along cam lonely, lanky Jones.

LookingSkyward
2013-May-23, 08:26 AM
The sheepdogs like the rum a bit, but yesterday I found a paddock full of hamsters, and no sign of sheep.

Noclevername
2013-May-23, 01:02 PM
How will Santa visit if the chimney is sprawled across the yard in pieces?

LookingSkyward
2013-May-23, 01:05 PM
Turns out there was a type on the order form and we got 6 cases of termite grenades

FarmMarsNow
2013-May-23, 07:52 PM
a strong shampoo with daring freed
this stately pleasure dome's debris:
to rinse while sacred rivers ran
'tween caverns measureless to man

Noclevername
2013-May-25, 08:45 AM
Why, in my day, all we had was wood-burning cats.

LookingSkyward
2013-May-29, 12:40 PM
When strawmen cry, their heads get soggy.

Noclevername
2013-May-30, 08:29 PM
Just how many termites can you fit in a grenade, anyway?

LookingSkyward
2013-May-31, 08:15 AM
Just how many termites can you fit in a grenade, anyway? Dunno, they're packaged by weight...

LookingSkyward
2013-May-31, 12:33 PM
Black-headed Grossbeak,
With tiny white tips on its wings
Weaves poetry through the sky

Noclevername
2013-May-31, 04:19 PM
And then, well you know the rest.

Luckmeister
2013-May-31, 05:17 PM
I had one grunch but the eggplant over there.

Noclevername
2013-Jun-01, 12:20 PM
I'm just saying I am not a fan of seeing Proxy going all goo-goo.

Noclevername
2013-Jun-01, 03:28 PM
Hey, you're not Rockin' Ricky fans!

Swift
2013-Jun-03, 12:55 PM
Peep brotel limp krom.

FarmMarsNow
2013-Jun-03, 04:09 PM
The Standard Model has changed, this time to accomodate the discovery of the pouting field effect, which was discovered by drs pouting and moaning.

LookingSkyward
2013-Jun-04, 11:38 AM
Actual repost from my wife's facebook page after moving cukes out of the greenhouse: "I just love watching the young cucumbers frolicking around in their new paddock".

Also: "you should have seen me with my new baby crowberry that followed me home from the native plant work day. It put it's head on my shoulder and purred when I petted it...."

LookingSkyward
2013-Jun-06, 10:14 AM
And then the Master of the Dead sent me a message in an oreo, and that didn't make sense even IN my dream

Swift
2013-Jun-06, 01:15 PM
I state your name

LookingSkyward
2013-Jun-06, 01:20 PM
Massachusetts!

Noclevername
2013-Jun-07, 01:13 AM
The biotech is organic machinery mutated by the prana field, which also grows roads and buildings in a twisty maze and double-decker bridges when we're lucky.

LookingSkyward
2013-Jun-07, 11:55 AM
When we're really lucky it also grows space elevators

Noclevername
2013-Jun-11, 07:03 PM
Okay but what are the twitter haps then

LookingSkyward
2013-Jun-12, 11:18 AM
But the monitoring systems auto-filter this entire section of the interwebs

Noclevername
2013-Jun-12, 11:41 AM
Leaf a random celery sentence.

Swift
2013-Jun-13, 02:13 PM
Lief, a radon Celtic sentient.

Noclevername
2013-Jun-13, 04:22 PM
If ye don't eat yer meat, ye can't have any pudding!

Swift
2013-Jun-13, 06:12 PM
Your majesty! Your majesty! The peasants are revolving!

LookingSkyward
2013-Jun-14, 10:24 AM
Radon? Who we gonna Radon, down here in this cave?

Noclevername
2013-Jun-14, 10:26 AM
Only Imperial Stormtroopers are this accurate! (now that's a silly sentence.)

Noclevername
2013-Jun-14, 10:28 AM
Posting to the wrong thread is JUST FINE.

LookingSkyward
2013-Jun-14, 10:32 AM
Please pay your thread fines on time.

Swift
2013-Jun-14, 01:13 PM
Mr. Thread Fines, Third master of the House of the Pickled Puss, you have been charged with Crimes against the Order of Infinity; you may now cry like a little baby!

Noclevername
2013-Jun-16, 02:49 AM
Very well, Senator, I will have more beans.

Noclevername
2013-Jun-16, 03:24 PM
That's hard peaches to you, Gumbo!

LookingSkyward
2013-Jun-17, 12:47 PM
Hard peaches are best for any peach related trebuchet ammo

Swift
2013-Jun-17, 03:32 PM
I'll take "Flamingos in Shakespeare" for 400 pesos, Alex.

LookingSkyward
2013-Jun-18, 08:25 AM
Wow - "Flamingos in Shakespeare" sounds like a large cooking poroject...

LookingSkyward
2013-Jun-21, 01:32 PM
I've seen catfish celbrate - they lack decorum.

Gigabyte
2013-Jun-23, 05:46 PM
Why Random? Why?

Swift
2013-Jun-23, 07:42 PM
Wye Random, Sheriff of Knarly Grove, Texas, was ambling down Main Street, leading his horse Biz Quick, down to Doc Marten's Old House of Beer and Loose Women on a warm and breezy Texas morning, when the school marm, Miz Posie Fairstocking walked by, gave a pleasant "good morning Mr. Random" and poured a bucket of turnip greens over his head, ruining his new pair of bunny slippers.

LookingSkyward
2013-Jun-24, 09:02 AM
Not my gumdrop buttons!

Swift
2013-Jun-24, 01:58 PM
Knot yore Gump draught buses.

Swift
2013-Aug-21, 01:47 AM
Giant ants with heads like Kim Kardashian are crawling up the green fuzzy walls.

LookingSkyward
2013-Aug-22, 03:18 PM
The engineer in the microwave fell asleep and over-cooked my turtle

Swift
2013-Sep-08, 09:39 PM
Let's consider aardvarks on rollerskates

LookingSkyward
2013-Sep-11, 10:49 AM
While I was considering aardvarks on rollerskates, my smart phone ate my pickles :(

Noclevername
2013-Sep-11, 01:40 PM
So there I was dressed to the nines, tens, and numbers beyond, with an onion on my belt, as was the style at the time.

LookingSkyward
2013-Sep-11, 01:47 PM
With chives up your sleeve?

LookingSkyward
2013-Sep-20, 08:44 AM
2000

Noclevername
2013-Sep-21, 10:26 AM
It was a clear and stormless day.

LookingSkyward
2013-Sep-23, 12:12 PM
but then, my venus flytrap is being exteremly lazy, too.

Noclevername
2013-Sep-24, 05:10 AM
And boy, are my wings tired.

mkline55
2013-Sep-24, 11:58 AM
All of physics and cosmology can be summed up completely in just three words. Wait, I only get one sentence?

Swift
2013-Sep-24, 01:42 PM
All of physics and cosmology can be summed up completely in just three words. Wait, I only get one sentence?
"Wait, I only get one sentence" is actually six words. And while a pretty summary of current opinion in cosmology, I don't think it does completely addresses some issues in QM.

mkline55
2013-Sep-24, 02:21 PM
Comma should not start a sentence, nor should,

Noclevername
2013-Sep-24, 02:25 PM
Therefore, time is pie.

Swift
2013-Sep-24, 06:59 PM
<singing>
I've looked at spoons from both sides now,
From bowl and end, but still somehow,
Its spoons' illusions I recall,
I really don't know spoons, at all.....

Swift
2013-Oct-03, 06:50 PM
All your posts are belong to us.

LookingSkyward
2013-Oct-04, 11:47 AM
than you can pay for my stampses!

Noclevername
2013-Oct-04, 02:39 PM
Yeah, we ought to sue that hurricane!

Swift
2013-Oct-04, 03:32 PM
Sue the Hurricane was walking down the lane one day with her best pal, Carl the Cyclone, when Thomas the Tank Engine came tooting by on the bumblie train line that crossed the narrow lane.

chrissy
2013-Oct-05, 04:59 PM
It seems as though I have walked into Wonderland, I see caterpillars on giant mushrooms blowing smoke from his pipe, "OO R U ?"

Noclevername
2013-Oct-05, 08:47 PM
Those are the greenest bananas I've ever seen!

Buttercup
2013-Oct-05, 09:12 PM
Those are the greenest bananas I've ever seen!

Lol!!! :D

Can imagine someone exclaiming that, in the produce section. :p

LookingSkyward
2013-Oct-07, 12:42 PM
The bats have no access to my daylight, and flee in confusion.

Noclevername
2013-Oct-07, 06:08 PM
Everywhere you look, it's puppies all the way down.

chrissy
2013-Oct-07, 08:01 PM
We have some new alien looking lights in the street. War of the worlds has come for a re-run. D:

publiusr
2013-Oct-13, 06:38 PM
In the same way the tiny urls actually get longer when you type them into themselves--I tried to mock Weird Al Yankovic and wound up with an opera....which was also panned.

Swift
2013-Oct-13, 06:43 PM
The plain plane was made plaid with a plane

profloater
2013-Oct-13, 07:12 PM
and plain english society objects to two objects, society's english plane and ...missing antecedants.

Swift
2013-Oct-14, 01:21 AM
Morris the Hedgehog (non-sonic) was tending his garden one bright and sunny afternoon when who should go strolling down Hop-Skippy Lane but Glorn the Magnificent, Master of the Zombie Army.

Noclevername
2013-Oct-14, 03:30 AM
Kipling? I've never Kipled in my life!

LookingSkyward
2013-Oct-29, 11:55 AM
During a pickling experiment gone horribly right
Cold fusion in a mason jar
Cukelear power




*concept swiped from Jasper Fforde

Noclevername
2013-Oct-29, 03:00 PM
I've never cabbaged in all my life!

Swift
2013-Oct-29, 03:33 PM
I've never cabbaged in all my life!
Good thing too; its illegal in 19 US states and 12 countries.

Noclevername
2013-Oct-29, 03:39 PM
During a pickling experiment gone horribly right
Cold fusion in a mason jar
Cukelear power

I hate it when people pronounce it "cuke-a-lar".

LookingSkyward
2013-Oct-29, 03:40 PM
or cuke-u-lar - that one irritates me../

Noclevername
2013-Oct-29, 05:29 PM
How can we really know if the Bird is the Word?

chrissy
2013-Oct-31, 01:02 PM
If smoking is bad for your health then why is it healthy to eat smoked mackerel?

Noclevername
2013-Oct-31, 09:49 PM
If smoking is bad for your health then why is it healthy to eat smoked mackerel?

The mackerel don't think it is.

publiusr
2013-Nov-02, 08:06 PM
Meet the newest anti-hero of the comic book world--an underworld demon/devil prince from AD&D gets zapped by the Large Hadron Collider

Enter MOLECH-ULAR!

Noclevername
2013-Nov-02, 08:34 PM
Blasto Meets Frankenstein is playing in 6-D at the Multiverseplex, it stars Johnny Depp as Weird Al.

Swift
2013-Nov-02, 09:11 PM
My cup runth under.

Noclevername
2013-Nov-02, 10:59 PM
Frankly, my dear, it's full of stars...

Noclevername
2013-Nov-05, 06:20 AM
The Fud Hatter asks, "Why is a waven wike a witing desk?"

Noclevername
2013-Nov-07, 11:46 PM
Stick me up the chimney and call me Smokey!

publiusr
2013-Nov-09, 08:36 PM
There were some scenes edited out of the disaster flick 2012. Or was that Sea Lab 2021... The icecaps melted, and a storm surge/ asteroid strike tsunami joined in the Indian Ocean.

While the heros were in the arks, there was one airline flying.

"We're at 25,000 feet, which means we're landing"

"And if you look out that window you see the Dalai Lama surfing and if you look out this window you see a coelacanth skiing."

"And here is Baywatchs The Hoff' giving mouth to mouth to Tenzing Norgay--you see Shangri-La is now a sea-side resort. Phooey--that's the second yeti to suffer shark-bite."

"George, George, George of the Tundra---look out for that overhanging snow cornice."

"That's okay--here we watch avalanches and tidal waves fight it out."

Noclevername
2013-Nov-10, 06:59 PM
Why, this toothpaste tube is full of nematodes!

Swift
2013-Nov-11, 02:25 AM
Nemo Toad lived in the hollow log, down by the mill, just across the pond from Dippy Doppy Woods.

Noclevername
2013-Nov-11, 05:33 AM
Dippy Doppy "DD" Woods claims to be the illegitimate daughter of Walt Disney.

chrissy
2013-Nov-16, 02:23 PM
Walt Disney was a super hero from the dark side of the moon, who hated the Warner brothers and Daffy duck was his greatest nemesis of all time!

Noclevername
2013-Nov-21, 02:04 AM
In Soviet Union, pizza delivers you!

publiusr
2013-Nov-22, 06:06 PM
I was on the Russian steppes, and I fell off (on the wolf)--where I contracted a case of Petit lycanthropy.

I'm a were-beagle, called Step-on-wolf.

Noclevername
2013-Nov-25, 08:55 AM
The cat sat on the rat in a hat who spat on the flat mat while Nat was at bat. Splat!

LookingSkyward
2014-Jan-09, 04:12 PM
it's tricky with a Cyclops - you can't really tell if he's winking or blinking

Noclevername
2014-Jan-10, 12:20 AM
You'll be happy to know that your gnome finally has trousers.

Swift
2014-Jan-10, 02:23 PM
Gnome, gnome on the range, where the pears and the cantelopes play....

Noclevername
2014-Jan-13, 09:09 AM
Rustic Chivalry isn't dead, it's just passed out drunk behind the barn.

Swift
2014-Jan-14, 02:10 PM
I am still hard pressed to beat the spammers for random nonsense - I just killed this one:

Lee Ming malaysia Keong, is a wonderful way to get burnt skin with sunbathing across the beach. Meanwhile, you are supposed to unite us. Full of fish life as well as fresh graduates.

Noclevername
2014-Jan-14, 02:17 PM
Full of fish life as well as fresh graduates.

The graduates get caught in the nets, you see.

Buttercup
2014-Feb-27, 09:58 PM
I'm still waiting for The Hurdy Gurdy Man to come singing songs of love.

*checks watch*

He's late.

slang
2014-Feb-27, 11:41 PM
Rant on, Wayne! .. Rant on, Garth!

Ranting Time! Excellent!

Buttercup
2014-Feb-28, 12:02 AM
No thank you, Morpheus; I'm allergic to blue and red dye. It'll have to be a GREEN pill.

publiusr
2014-Feb-28, 09:17 PM
In my best Ted Knight voice...Superfriends music in the background

The league of super-hero rejects!

The Incredible Bulk...Somewhat-stronger-than-average-man...and Brain-O! The worlds smartest moron...
"The square of the...hyponenusse...is equal to the sum of the other two...uh...George Washington"

Next week, I will be writing an article about filament lensing with respect to Asimov's sideburns, and the topology of Carl Sagan's turtleneck...

Noclevername
2014-Mar-04, 05:28 AM
Bigfoot has finally brought me back.

publiusr
2014-Mar-08, 06:38 PM
Remember the suit that affected Luca Parmitano?

Rumor has it that parts of the report were blacked out--heavily redacted: http://up-ship.com/blog/?p=23681

I think I have recovered some of the redacted comments:

George Abbey:--- Time for some suit problems in Houston
Linda Ham: --------Got it

slang
2014-Mar-08, 09:28 PM
hello there, wow.. what a fantastic world news. Mercury mappers is providing such a nice information. link is also considered in this forum which provides the greater information to us. I think this is a big success in the future. thanks

Swift
2014-Mar-11, 07:15 PM
Watt a peace of wok is man, hail noble in rhizome, how infinite in faculty, in foam is moving an express admiral, inactive like an angle.

profloater
2014-Mar-11, 07:16 PM
but no man is an Ireland, if you pick me do I not breed?

Noclevername
2014-Mar-11, 07:20 PM
A random silly sentence.

slang
2014-Mar-21, 11:34 AM
Hi,
I am newbie over here and your topic attract me to read all discussion here so that i can get some useful information about this problem.

Swift
2014-Mar-22, 08:32 PM
Like my Pa used to say, a blind squirrel in the ice cream is like finding a dime at the nickel factory.

starcanuck64
2014-Mar-22, 08:35 PM
My shoe just told me the most offensive joke about a sandal, a boot and a runner that walk into a pump bar.

Buttercup
2014-Mar-22, 08:38 PM
Speaking of flip-flops, my right flip-flop went flying the other day. Between-toe strap suddenly broke. I had to drag-walk with it probably 70 feet to my car! :p

Buttercup
2014-Mar-22, 08:42 PM
Aaaaaauuugggh!!!

:)

starcanuck64
2014-Mar-22, 09:59 PM
Speaking of flip-flops, my right flip-flop went flying the other day. Between-toe strap suddenly broke. I had to drag-walk with it probably 70 feet to my car! :p

Sorry, I changed the flip-flops in my above post to runners for religious reasons having to do with different types of soles.

Inclusa
2014-Mar-23, 02:47 AM
My arms are still paleolithic ones.

Noclevername
2014-Mar-23, 04:44 PM
You mean he go away with a chicken?

Inclusa
2014-Mar-28, 07:40 AM
Moorhen?! Look, it is a black duck!

publiusr
2014-Mar-29, 07:28 PM
Hi! I'm Billy...hi..I'm..Billy...hi..I'm Bil--

'WE KNOW YOU'RE BILLY!!"

...Wah!

Inclusa
2014-Apr-01, 08:41 AM
Hey, Day!

Swift
2014-Apr-01, 04:46 PM
Mommy, mommy, mommy, mom, mom, mom, ma, mom, mom, mommy, mommy, mom, mommy, mom, mom, mommy, Mommy, MA, mom...
WHAT?!?
Hi.

publiusr
2014-Apr-05, 05:45 PM
Meanwhile, back on the ranch...

Inclusa
2014-Apr-05, 08:45 PM
Hail! (when hailstones are falling.)

Noclevername
2014-Apr-06, 02:35 AM
Money is its own reward.

Swift
2014-Apr-06, 08:39 PM
If anyone is curious about a missing post, an inappropriate post from Inclusa has been removed as being too offensive in certain cultures. And no, I am not being silly

Inclusa
2014-Apr-09, 06:12 AM
Monique always gets the most money.

LookingSkyward
2014-Apr-09, 08:59 PM
I make red lines with blue ink

Noclevername
2014-Apr-09, 10:46 PM
More crunchy frogs, Senator?

starcanuck64
2014-Apr-09, 10:57 PM
Waiter, I'll have the Pahnhueflugen.

Swift
2014-Apr-15, 01:08 PM
On the Isle of Mord, out in the Great Sea, past the Land of Whispering Trees, was a great castle, the castle of King Gren'ta, who was known throughout the 50 Kingdoms for his calm vision, noble voice, and great insight, and who was very fond of tuna fish sandwiches on wheat toast, with just two slices of tomato.