Leave a random silly sentence!

[LookingSkyward]

I’ve got to pop like a weasel,
To the sea,
pop like a weasel,
Cuz that monkey’s chasin’ me

[Salty]

Monkey see, monkey do.

[Salty]

In the event of an emergency, walk down the middle of the street shouting "E - mer- gen - see".

[Salty]

On a clear day, you can see forever.

[LookingSkyward]

fun with sporks! launch the caterpillars!

[Salty]

Owner not liable for injuries incurred on this property.

[Eric Vaxxine]

The Oxygen, Nitrogen and C02 gaseous equilibrium required for human and animal life
on this planet are carefully monitored and kept in balance by.......errrrm........!!!....errrrr

[Salty]

"Use your imagination" to me is like taking the brakes off in a speeding car.

[LookingSkyward]

Zombie goldfish ate my brain

[Salty]

When all else fails, read the instructions.

[FarmMarsNow]

Protons are diamonds, electrons are glue, insults bounce off of me and stick to you.

[LookingSkyward]

I've read the instructions, but the insults remain electrically bonded to me.

[Salty]

Where did I put those instructions?

[LookingSkyward]

Searching for the lost shaker of Salty, some people claim there's silliness to blame. but I know, that it's my own fault

[Noclevername]

I am currently experiencing technical difficulties.

[LookingSkyward]

I am the technical difficulties you are currently experiencing, with salt.

[Swift]

How many aardvarks must the aardvark master master, before he masters the aardvarks?

[LookingSkyward]

42. My uncle the penguin caused an apple event in the tace-spime continuum, leading to inconsequential drainage.

[Noclevername]

Get the cheese to sickbay!

[Swift]

Get the cheese to sickbay!
Dang it Jim, I'm a doctor not a Maitre Fromager

[Noclevername]

It was about as bad as going at infinite speed and turning into a salamander.

[Salty]

The cow jumped over the moon.

[Romanus]

The man looked awful, and smelled even better...

[Salty]

A kingdom for my horse!

[Noclevername]

The Kryptonian Vulcans from Gaza are hoarding solar panels.

[LookingSkyward]

After I turned them into penguins, I banished them to North Dakota

[Frog march]

the jack in the box craves justice.............

[Salty]

The justice in the box craves Jack Daniels.

[Noclevername]

I went to school with Jack Daniels. He always came in fifth in his class.

[Salty]

CERN is seeking a bosun to pipe Higgs aboard.

[Salty]

The Mass and Gravity teams are going to meet at Higgs Field.

[Salty]

Galactic barbarians need love, too.

[LookingSkyward]

It's all fun and games until the gravity wave hits

[Noclevername]

Blueberry muffins for everyone!

[Salty]

The huge planet Nirubu is pushing the gravity wave towards us.

[Salty]

An ork a gronk and a cave, it's all a rave.

[Noclevername]

Visiting hours are between midnight and 3AM.

[Salty]

Vampires bring your own blood.

[Salty]

No werewolves allowed.

[Sarawak]

Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by this sun of York;
And all the clouds that lour'd upon our house
In the deep bosom of the ocean buried.

[Noclevername]

Hee hee, he said bosom.

[Salty]

Roscoe Burgenbacher, a 19th evolutionist, proposed naming all the different homonids existing about 15,000BC Homo sapiens halitosis, but was voted down by Darwinists.

[Noclevername]

All my glasses have broken frames. True story!

[Frog march]

then fix it dear Liza

[Frog march]

Jason drove his earwax balloon into the side of the giant candy bear from Texas....there was much weaping, and pickling of grapes.

[Frog march]

Jane announced her loathing of apostrophes by throwing a champagne bottle through the TV.......the party of Mad Max fans were suddenly silent, and reached for their tranquilliser gum.

[LookingSkyward]

Upon learning that lemurs secretly controlled the illuminati, I shut off my lights

[Noclevername]

But who controls the lemurs? Ferrets!

[Swift]

Joe is the controller of lemurs.

[Salty]

Fenwich ferrets are the best ferrets.

[Noclevername]

BYOV (Bring Your Own Vinegar)

[LookingSkyward]

Leeeeemuuuuuurrs!! they have their little paws in everything. Except the penquins. No agency has ever gained traction among the Peng!

[Salty]

The old lemming doesn't go over the cliff.

[LookingSkyward]

you can't teach an old lemming new cliffs

[Noclevername]

I haven't gone Lemming in so long, I've forgotten how to Lem.

[LookingSkyward]

When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty

[Noclevername]

Tarzan is at his best when the chimps are down.

[LookingSkyward]

Manatee! Oh, the Hu!

[Noclevername]

Well, glue some gears on me and call me steampunk!

[LookingSkyward]

Tarzan likes a chimpunk

[Swift]

Now, I am become Anorectic, the destroyer of worlds.

[Salty]

Let me take my foot out of my mouth.

[Noclevername]

I am become Anoxia, destroyer of lungs.

[Salty]

I am become intimidated, from all these destroyers.

[LookingSkyward]

I am become destroyed, brought to you by destroyers that beign with the letter "A"

[Frog march]

monkey see, monkey do.

[Swift]

Monkey sea, monkey dew

[Frog march]

sure as x is x. (the origin of the saying according to Susie Dent)

[Swift]

On the 10.73th day of Christmass my tune lung gave to trees, 9 aardvarks singing, 6.4 maids a lunching, 5 golden grahams, 4 cauliflowers, 3 ducks a ducking, 7 sponges sponging, and a park ridge in a Terry!

[Frog march]

and kids these days, they won't believe you.

[Frog march]

How many fish fingers am I holding up?

Four.

And if the Party says there are not four, but five, then how many?

Five.

No.

That’s no use. You’re lying.

How many fish fingers, please?

Four. What else could I say?

Five, or anything you like. Will you please stop it?

Stop the pain.

How can I help it?

How can I help what I see in front of my eyes?

Two and two makes four.

Sometimes, Winston.

Sometimes they are five, sometimes they are three.

[Swift]

Oh the weather outside is bicycle, and the friar is so recyclable, but if Hugh have no place to stow, let it mow, let it mow, let it mow.

[Eric Vaxxine]

It is actually a silly moment.
Last year I cellotaped my 7 month old son up
in wrapping paper and put him under our Christmas tree.

The best present ever.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0khqoQUCag

[Swift]

They did it, gosh golly the Angel of Christmas Past, and the Angel of Christmas a Week from Next Thursday, and the Angle of Right, and the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy, and Uncle Bob managed to complete my 17 years of psychotherapy and the complete modification of 73% of the space-time continuum all in one night and part of a rainy afternoon, though I see they didn't clean up the mess they left in the upstairs sitting room.

[Eric Vaxxine]

How happy are YOU !

[Frog march]

BENTON!
o

[Eric Vaxxine]

Strangers in the night.......!

No idea what the last post is about

[Sarawak]

That sensation of a void within which never left us, that irrational longing to hark back to the past or else to speed up the march of time, and those keen shafts of memory that stung like fire.

[Noclevername]

The constructal law accounts for the universal phenomenon of generation and evolution of design (configuration, shape, structure,
pattern, rhythm).

[Salty]

I really wouldn't know what to do
If all my wishes really came true.

[Noclevername]

Get a dog, little longy!

[LookingSkyward]

the cowboy wants a dachshund

[Swift]

My sinuses are full of sheep

[LookingSkyward]

heh - mine, too :>

Your axe swings mightily, busdriver

[Sarawak]

love dares you to care for the people on the edge of the night

[Noclevername]

...Better stay away from the edge or you'll fall into daytime.

[Sarawak]

You know the day destroys the night. Night divides the day.

[Salty]

Nine more days of Christmas to go!

[Eric Vaxxine]

Actual subtitles from a BBC documentary about antarctica I watched last night.

The man said:
....'not very thick, ice a mere fraction of what it was....'

The subtitles read:
....'not very thick, I smeer a fraction of what it was....'

Made me laugh......

[Salty]

Penguins and research scientists live in Antarctica.

[Eric Vaxxine]

The members of the band 'Snow Patrol' are all from antarctica.

[Noclevername]

Penguins and research scientists live in Antarctica.

Do they live in Antarctica or on Antarctica?

[Eric Vaxxine]

Wow...interesting idea....
Do Africans live in Africa or just on the African continent?

[Swift]

Penguins and research scientists live in Antarctica.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.

[Sarawak]

This is a community.

[Frog march]

you know we are all just in a matrix and our bodies are on an interstellar space ship, don't you; don't you?


edit to add: "edit to add:edit to add"

[Sarawak]

If we're all just in a square matrix, then I'm an off-diagonal element.

[LookingSkyward]

Penguins and sea monkeys live in a petri dish

[Sarawak]

I wonder if I might crave your momentary indulgence in order to discharge a by no means disagreeable obligation which has, over the years, become more or less established practice in government service as we approach the terminal period of the year — calendar, of course, not financial — in fact, not to put too fine a point on it, Week Fifty-One — and submit to you, with all appropriate deference, for your consideration at a convenient juncture, a sincere and sanguine expectation — indeed confidence — indeed one might go so far as to say hope — that the aforementioned period may be, at the end of the day, when all relevant factors have been taken into consideration, susceptible to being deemed to be such as to merit a final verdict of having been by no means unsatisfactory in its overall outcome and, in the final analysis, to give grounds for being judged, on mature reflection, to have been conducive to generating a degree of gratification which will be seen in retrospect to have been significantly higher than the general average.

[LookingSkyward]

Well played, big fishy, well played.

[Sarawak]

Pi is the ratio of the circumference of a pie to its diameter.

[LookingSkyward]

Tau is a really big Cosco pumpkin pie

[Sarawak]

Tau is the ratio of the circumference of a pie to its radius. I think.

[LookingSkyward]

Tao is the way...

[Sarawak]

Lao is the singular of Laos.

[Salty]

Do they live in Antarctica or on Antarctica?

Don't confuse me with the facts ... is that a trick question?

[Swift]

Porcsupine is the plural of porcupine.

[Sarawak]

If you were born on February 30, you'd be about 299 years and ten months old now.

[LookingSkyward]

Please leave a message at the dial tone

[Sarawak]

What's a dial tone?

[LookingSkyward]

Crocodial tone

[Sarawak]

NTSC is better than PAL or SECAM.

[LookingSkyward]

My pal, Secam, works for the NTSC, and can't discuss her job

[Sarawak]

Oh, yes see cam.

[LookingSkyward]

O see cam you say!

[Sarawak]

O see cam you say!
'cause N-T-S-C sux!

[Noclevername]

Take that you stupid corn!

[Sarawak]

Corn is actually quite intelligent.

[Frog march]

bautforum.corn

[Sarawak]

bautfarm.corn

[Swift]

Baut face, forward march.

[Eric Vaxxine]

Customer: 'Hi. I just pumped a litre of petrol into my Jerry Can'.

Pump Attendant: OK sir, 1 litre costs £1.30.9 How would you like to pay?

Customer: Cash.

The random silly sentence being........

UK Petrol Stations advertise their gasoline prices in £'s, Pennies and a 0.1 Penny division.

? Their world? It isn't the one we live in.

[Sarawak]

Do the pumps ensure that the amount of petrol dispensed is N*10/1309 litres, where N is a non-negative integer?

[Salty]

Don't put that in your mouth!
(This is a silly sentence, because by the time you say that, the pet or child already has it in their mouth.)

[Frog march]

if you say that to a dog, they'd probably just think you were reciting Latin poetry.

[LookingSkyward]

Approaching the corn, I find the farmer in my Dell. Spinning the CPU fan.

[FarmMarsNow]

Pencils made life easier until the computers came and took our pencils away.

[Salty]

The eraser made correcting mistakes easy, until the computer came along with 'delete'.

[LookingSkyward]

copy pencils > dev.null

[Salty]

May all of you and yours enjoy a blessed, safe and healthy New Year.

[Noclevername]

Mayest thou verily enjoy an happy year 1220!

[Salty]

I should live so long.

[LookingSkyward]

wishing you all a very silly New Year!

[Noclevername]

Have a dyslexic 2102.

[LookingSkyward]

<like>

[Noclevername]

The internet is a series of tubers; No, wait, that's the potato farm.

[Sarawak]

On 29 February 2012, ask yourself, what day was it exactly 300 years ago (by the Gregorian calendar) in Sweden? The answer may surprise you.

[Swift]

From a recent piece of deleted spam

Even if I see much gray sky on a pill, but the dim lights in numerous among the wear in a variety of noise among the fleeting rise in the jungle-like cement between the eyes, but like a dead fish, discarded in the the bright lights of the garbage.

[Salty]

On 29 February 2012, ask yourself, what day was it exactly 300 years ago (by the Gregorian calendar) in Sweden? The answer may surprise you.

It took me two tries, 38 years apart, to learn Algebra 1, and you want me to compute a 300 year old calendar date ... and I don't even speak Swedish?

[Noclevername]

I am made entirely of carbon nanotubes.

[Frog march]

I like carbohydrate macrotubes in vegan cheese sauce, and what's good for the goose is good for the gandhi.

[Noclevername]

I travel too far and stay out too late, feeling the cold winds whip out of the north as I watch the sun setting. Then at night, the weasels come...

[Sarawak]

It took me two tries, 38 years apart, to learn Algebra 1, and you want me to compute a 300 year old calendar date ... and I don't even speak Swedish?

Very little algebra, or even arithmetic, is needed!

Here, let me get you started. On 29 February 2012, if you were to ask yourself, what day was it 300 years ago (by the Gregorian calendar) in Italy, the answer would be, 29 February 1712. So what day was that in Sweden?

[Frog march]

Saturday?

[LookingSkyward]

IIn Sweden, the weasles come out at sunset

[Sarawak]

Saturday?

Monday, actually. But more to the point, which Monday? What was the date?

[Sarawak]

Bugger. My silly sentence is malformed. The correct silly sentence should be, "On 11 March 2012, ask yourself, what day was it exactly 300 years ago (by the Gregorian calendar) in Sweden? The answer may surprise you."

In Venice, this day was 11 March 1712. In England, it was 29 February 1712. What day was it in Sweden?

[Frog march]

two pints of soya milk, and a packet of crisps please.

[LookingSkyward]

what's the past tense of wing? I vote wung.

[Sarawak]

what's the past tense of wing? I vote wung.

That would be the participle. The simple past is wang.

[Noclevername]

Who wung the beww?

[Gemini]

I am a banana!!!!

[Salty]

Very little algebra, or even arithmetic, is needed!

Here, let me get you started. On 29 February 2012, if you were to ask yourself, what day was it 300 years ago (by the Gregorian calendar) in Italy, the answer would be, 29 February 1712. So what day was that in Sweden?

Depends on whether or not Sweden had switched to the Gregorian calender or not, which I don't know.
Who really cares, anyway?

[Salty]

winged ... I vote for the past tense of wing as winged and future tense as will wing... not at all like:
wring wrang wrung
nor
ring rang rung

English is like that ... I remember.

[Frog march]

Depends on whether or not Sweden had switched to the Gregorian calender or not, which I don't know.
Who really cares, anyway?


but might they still have the same week day as the rest of Europe, regardless of what date it was to them? They might not have, I suppose, I don't know.

Bananas are best served as biofuel for ones tractor.

[Sarawak]

Depends on whether or not Sweden had switched to the Gregorian calender or not, which I don't know.

They weren't on the Gregorian calendar, but they weren't quite on the Julian calendar, either.


Who really cares, anyway?

Blasphemy!


but might they still have the same week day as the rest of Europe, regardless of what date it was to them?

Yes, it was not a day-of-the-week issue, but a date issue. As far as I know, the date designation in Sweden on that day was one that was unique in all of history.

[LookingSkyward]

It was Swedish weasel banana day!

[Noclevername]

I went to school with a guy named Julian Calendar. For some reason he was always late to class.

[Salty]

Was Sweden on the Furry Ferret Calendar, then?

[LookingSkyward]

Cuz the naked ferrets get to cold in Sweden...

[Sarawak]

It was Swedish weasel banana day!

Close!

[Salty]

Oh, the Swedes have weasels instead of ferrets?

[Frog march]

intra-linguistic nincompoops are here to transgress your reality pie.

[LookingSkyward]

My borogroves are at only 87% mimsy - I think I need some boro-restoro, with sparkling outgrabe action!

[Salty]

A waist is a terrible thing to mind.

[Swift]

Every time a doorknob sings a pencil gets a basketball turtle inside the left kidney dog bird.

[LookingSkyward]

kidney! dog bird has pencil kidney! Doorknob ankle cold!

[FarmMarsNow]

Why ho why did I oh I?

[Salty]

No, Nessie, woah, that's my fish on that line!

[Noclevername]

I was going to put a silly sentence here but accidentally posted it on the Untrue Facts thread; I'm not going to fix it.

[Eric Vaxxine]

I nearly did exactly the same thing.

[LookingSkyward]

36 hour concall - now that's silly!

[Sarawak]

Olympus formed itself after the gods defeated the titans in the Titan War, and soon the palace was inhabited by the gods.

[Noclevername]

Support our Titan War veterans!

[Sarawak]

Justice for the Titans!

[Salty]

Down with anti-Titan discrimination!

[Sarawak]

Henceforth, all employers will be required to show that they have programmes in place to recruit Titans actively when suitable positions arise.

[LookingSkyward]

Light a candle for Prometheus!

[Sarawak]

And when you are done, give the candle to Diogenes!

[Noclevername]

Tabloid Headline: "Diogenes Caught In A Lie!"

[Salty]

Socrates questions news reporters.

[Sarawak]

Socrates is pronounced, so-kraits.

[LookingSkyward]

So, Kraits, how bout this Digginess fellow?

[Salty]

It's all Greek to me.

[LookingSkyward]

When Quidna receives the coordinates, then the spleendish beams will wreak terrible vengance on the Kloon!

[Sarawak]

Error, this is not the untrue facts thread.

[LookingSkyward]

True! And silly none the less (or is that one word?)

[Sarawak]

One word is the same as another.

[Noclevername]

But two words are totally different.

[Sarawak]

Two words are the same, while still being different.

[LookingSkyward]

select * from word where same = different

[Sarawak]

Equality is a special case of inequality.

[LookingSkyward]

blabberjackles gnaw my tires, but fruitless fly the mangroves

[Sarawak]

mangroves are always looking for womangroves

[LookingSkyward]

Kidgroves have something to do with goats in trees

[Sarawak]

kidgroves (http://webecoist.momtastic.com/2008/08/19/the-incredible-tree-climbing-goats-of-morocco/)

[LookingSkyward]

Those were the ones I was thinking of :>

[Sarawak]

Following the success of the Octopus card in Hong Kong, and the Oyster card in London, Jakarta will introduce the Plankton card for use on its forthcoming transit system.

[LookingSkyward]

Jakarta's transist system will pump you through tubes of water - how long can you hold your breath?

[Sarawak]

The stations in Moscow's metro are so deep, because when they are closer to the centre of the earth, they are closer together, and the trains don't have to travel so far.

[LookingSkyward]

Once, when I was stranded in the Jurrasic because my time machine ran out of gas, I had to walk all the way home

[Sarawak]

Sheremetyevo is nicer than Domodedovo

[LookingSkyward]

Well, I was aiming for home but I would up in Moscow.

[Noclevername]

Would you wind up where you wound up if you had the wind up?

[Sarawak]

wind, wand, wund

[Noclevername]

Here we are inside your body,
and this noisy empty space
is your stomach getting angry
'cause there's no food in the place!

[Noclevername]

Why, here's orange juice and milk and fruit
just waiting to be taken,
and bless my soul, right here's a bowl
with one cold piece of steak in!

[Noclevername]

A hard boiled egg, a chicken leg,
or cheese or luncheon meat
or a peanut butter sandwich
any time of day's a treat.

[Noclevername]

So to keep your mon from grumbling,
and stop that stomach rumbling,
and keep your legs from stumbling while you play,
you've got to eat some kind of breakfast every day!

[Frog march]

the moth started to channel ancient haiku writers.......and still the fire needed more coal.

[Noclevername]

Look, a wagon wheel!

[Sarawak]

Look, a dragon wheel!

[Frog march]

Mr Maccaroni stared long and hard into the future, and was suddenly struck by a vision of utopia.....he quickly undid his tie and ordered a plane ticket on his laptop....there would be no more hiding away from reality any more.......then there came a knock at the door.

[Sarawak]

The knock at his door was a woodpecker.

[Noclevername]

Does no one remember poor Timer? He hankered for a hunka cheese!

[Sarawak]

A hunka cheese may be found at Chuck e Cheese.

[LookingSkyward]

Mr Macaroni's 1st name is Chuckie - Coincidence? I think not.

[Sarawak]

If you join BAUT and bleat incessantly about how rational you are, then all of your ignorant, unsupported proclamations suddenly become scientific!

[Noclevername]

Remember, wherever you go, there you need toilet paper.

[Sarawak]

Remember, wherever you go, there you need toilet paper.

That depends on which particular "go" you mean.

[Noclevername]

In America, you make landfall. In Soviet Russia, er, I mean Italy, land fall on you!

[Sarawak]

Happy Vindaloo Day!

[Frog march]

the code name for the mission, if you chose to accept it is: fairycakes

[LookingSkyward]

Fairycakes and cheese! the mission begins

[Noclevername]

Cheese couldn't make it, he didn't fit the mold.

[Sarawak]

Sound like there are holes in that story.

[Salty]

If 'if and buts'
were candy and nuts
what a merry merry
world it would be.

[Noclevername]

If nuts and bolts were cows and goats, we'd all have milk for the winter.

[Frog march]

YKIDW cows and goats live together.

[Noclevername]

They're always after me Lucky Charms!

[Sarawak]

Leave a random silly sentence.

[Frog march]

I graduated towards her, as she was the only person at the party who smelt like putty....

[Sarawak]

Fight electromagnetism!

[LookingSkyward]

I know the putty smelling lady! She's after me Lucky Charms!

[Noclevername]

Submarines is goooooood medicine!

[Salty]

Some of my best friends are nuclear submarines.

[LookingSkyward]

One of my best friends was SSBN 727. She changed her name to SSGN 727 since I last saw her, though.

[Sarawak]

All nuclear fleets are equally safe.

[Noclevername]

We all live in a yellow submarine.

[LookingSkyward]

my internet packets are yellow...

[Noclevername]

My mustard packets are yellow.

[LookingSkyward]

Colonel mustard has a yellow pack (possibly cheese related)

[Sarawak]

Hung be the heavens with black! (http://www.bautforum.com/member.php/26672-Coelacanth)

[LookingSkyward]

Like

[Sarawak]

Yield day to night!

[LookingSkyward]

fieldday tonight! to clean up the mustard splatters...

[Sarawak]

Comets, importing change of times and states,
Brandish your crystal tresses in the sky,
And with them scourge the bad revolting stars
That have consented unto Salty's departure!

[Noclevername]

I'm not in a silly mood today. Come back tomorrow.

[Sarawak]

O for a Muse of fire, that would ascend
The brightest heaven of invention,
A kingdom for a stage, princes to act
And monarchs to behold the swelling scene!

[LookingSkyward]

In most of the world, the Earth is shaped like a football, but not in the USA.