If you was an evil alien warlord...

[m1omg]

If you was an evil alien warlord, what kind of weapon would you use against a star system?I think that I would launch a few stealthy nanomissles and watch how the entire biospheres of their home planet and all their colonies in a star systems are being converted to a grey goo...MUHAHAHA:evil:

[Bellatrix7]

Why, my Death Star of course. :D

~Darth Sidious (also occasionally known as Emperor Palpatine)

[R.A.F.]

I'd use my Supernova Initiator.

[Demigrog]

Tribbles

[Bellatrix7]

Tribbles

:lol:

[Moose]

If you was an evil alien warlord

Oh, I'm feeling Gillian's pain right now. :doh:


what kind of weapon would you use against a star system?

What, just pop a solar system for no reason? How can this possibly be of benefit to me as an evil alien warlord?

(See: chaotic evil vs chaotic stupid.)

[korjik]

My uncountable millions of jackbooted stormtroopers.

After all, a destroyed system is a worthless system. :)

After consulting the reference in the next post, I have changed 'my uncountable millions of jackbooted stormtroopers' to,

My Legions of Terror!

[Neverfly]

And yet again... The greatest advice to aspiring overlords (http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html) everywhere...

[Matherly]

Forced Religeous Conversion

Hallowed be the Ori

[Fazor]

Why do I have to be an evil ALIEN warlord? Can't I just be a highly-advanced evil human warlord?

[Frog march]

I'd play endless loan company ads at the enemy all over the planet.

[Fazor]

I'm too diabolical; I'd send down a plague of polititians. That's the most painful, drawn-out, and sure-fire way to destroy any civilized planet.

[BigDon]

RAF, its called a Star Hammer. Temporaraly suspends the effects of gravity in the core of a star. Once normal gravity resumes the outward momentum can no longer be contained.

It was the only weapon that could defeat the Vang. Who were like the Flood only much worse. They were not impressed by combat cyborgs in the least.

Neverfly, that link sort of killed the thread but was the funniest thing I've seen in weeks.

[ggremlin]

A truly effective Evil Overlord uses the least effort for the most effect.

Start a rumor that the "Light of Zartha" was there and let "Serleena" handle it.

[Mister Earl]

Trigger a vacuum metastability event. Nothing is more evil than destroying everything that has ever existed.

[Swift]

I would create a vast computer network system that would allow for the rapid exchange of electronic mail, data, video, etc. I would create "locations" on this network where humans could spend hours typing out comments to each other, watching pointless videos, etc. These locations would be particularly attractive to the more technologically advanced and intelligent humans.

When all of these humans' spare time was spent interacting with this computer network, I would start to control their minds with such things as little advertising messages that would suddenly appear on their computer monitors. Soon, I would have an army of brain-washed zombies who will do anything I ask of them.

But, that's just my crazy idea, no relationship to anything real, sorry for intruding on this fascinating discussion.
:whistle:

[Chuck]

Someone wanting to conquer the earth could just sit back and wait a few decades until we're gone.

[mike alexander]

It would depend on the level of cultural advancement and the color of the beings in the system under question. If they were at, say, current earth levels of sophistication and were pink, I'd just start a rumor that brown aliens were coming soon.

In no time the place would be empty and I could pick up the real estate at bargain-basement rates.

[aurora]

Spam.

[Neverfly]

(snip)

Neverfly, that link sort of killed the thread but was the funniest thing I've seen in weeks.

I seem to be a thread killer lately.
I'll delete the post with the offending link.

My Apologies.:neutral:

[Swift]

Spam.
http://psuspamstop.pbwiki.com/f/spam.jpg

I bow to our pressed meat product overlords!

[korjik]

I seem to be a thread killer lately.
I'll delete the post with the offending link.

My Apologies.:neutral:

I dont think you were a thread killer, after all I was using the wrong terminology till you showed me my error :)

[Neverfly]

I dont think you were a thread killer, after all I was using the wrong terminology till you showed me my errer :)

Error* :p





* I couldn't resist:D

[phaishazamkhan]

Only a fool would attempt outright destruction of a world. Detonate some condensed antimatter at strategic locations to instill fear in the populace and force them to sue for peace. Even in an infinite universe good worlds are hard to come by and only a fool would waste resources whether it is slave labor or materials.

[Chuck]

They might want just the planet without life so they can bring in their own. Slaves that are expensive to keep alive in the new environment wouldn't be worth owning, although they might keep a few of us around in sealed containers for research purposes.

[Van Rijn]

For a present day Earth, I'd just redirect a couple of small KBOs. It wouldn't take that much energy, and in a few decades, there would be a nicely simplified ecosystem on the planet.

[Doodler]

I'm more of a psychological torture kinda guy.

I'd broadcast Lifetime movies on every possible frequency, then wait a week.

[RalofTyr]

If?

[TheOncomingStorm]

I'm more of a psychological torture kinda guy.

I'd broadcast Lifetime movies on every possible frequency, then wait a week.
Raise you 24 hrs of Oprah and Dr Phill.

[Neverfly]

Raise you 24 hrs of Oprah and Dr Phill.

I see you and raise teletubbies...

[TheOncomingStorm]

I see you and raise teletubbies...
I raise you 24 hour Bart Sibrel tv.

[Neverfly]

Fold.

[phaishazamkhan]

They might want just the planet without life so they can bring in their own. Slaves that are expensive to keep alive in the new environment wouldn't be worth owning, although they might keep a few of us around in sealed containers for research purposes.

Are you presuming these slaves would be treated humanely? How quaint. It's so much cheaper to treat them as disposable animals whose sole purpose and pleasure in life is rutting and making those hilarious faces when they complete the act.

[Celestial Mechanic]

A moment of levity amidst all this diabolical plotting. Time to give Bobby Darin a spin:


If I were an evil alien overlord,
And you were a lady,
Would you love me anyway,
Would you have my baby?

If a conqueror were my trade,
Would you still find me,
Amidst all the carnage I'd made,
Following right behind me?

;)

[m1omg]

I'm too diabolical; I'd send down a plague of polititians. That's the most painful, drawn-out, and sure-fire way to destroy any civilized planet.

:lol:

[eburacum45]

The most efficient way of subjugating the Earth's population could be by subtle cultural infiltration; or perhaps not-so-subtle cultural imperialism. Give the natives something incomparably better that they have already-
then they will be hooked, lined and sinkered.

as described in this Bob the Angry Flower cartoon...
http://www.angryflower.com/borg27.gif

[Doodler]

I raise you 24 hour Bart Sibrel tv.

No good, that would be mistaken for comedy.

[Neverfly]

No good, that would be mistaken for comedy.

I dunno, man.
I had a Royal Flush, but that wasn't worth the risk. Had to Fold.

[Frog march]

correcting fluid.

[Moose]

24 hours of The View, then.


There. Now that aughtta do it.

[Swift]

correcting fluid.
I'm sorry, that is not correct.

[TheOncomingStorm]

24 hours of The View, then.
Ok I fold just please don't do it please I am begging you.

[Swift]

24 hours of The View, then.
If you used that to murder people, would that be "A View to a Kill"?

:doh:

[The_Radiation_Specialist]

I would tell them about The Secret! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_secret)

[korjik]

I'm sorry, that is not correct.

Thats why it is correcting fluid instead of corrected fluid :)

[KaiYeves]

Endless Math homework.
Destruction of all Star Wars realeted material.
CTs.

[eugenek]

Build lots of shoe shops until the Shoe Event Horizon is reached?

[Swift]

Build lots of shoe shops until the Shoe Event Horizon is reached?
If the SEH could be reached by purchasing shoes and storing them in closests, my wife would have already done it. :lol:

[SkepticJ]

24 hours of The View, then.

I raise you John Edward: Cross Country.

[KaiYeves]

Release a pathogen into the atmosphere that gives all humans acne.

[Neverfly]

Release a pathogen into the atmosphere that gives all humans acne.

Already been done. 1974.

[Eleniar]

Greetings and Felicitations,

I would create an interactive fantasy role-playing game that requred people to cooperate to raise levels. I would then market it to the technologically sophisticated and get them addicted to it. This would require more and more of their time until they were incapable of interacting with the outside world unless the other person was a player.

In Peace,
Eleniar

[Doodler]

Greetings and Felicitations,

I would create an interactive fantasy role-playing game that requred people to cooperate to raise levels. I would then market it to the technologically sophisticated and get them addicted to it. This would require more and more of their time until they were incapable of interacting with the outside world unless the other person was a player.

In Peace,
Eleniar

That'll get you China, anyway. That kinda dovetails into my "How to Win World War III" scenario. Flying C-130s full of monthly game cards over Asia, dumping them like fliers, then waiting three days.

[SkepticJ]

I would create a wildy popular anime series aimed at children. The series would be populated by sickeningly cute creatures, which would of course be massively merchandized. The toys would be poorly made so they would quickly wear out. Eventually the trillions of worn out plush toys would clog rivers, and the toy animals constructed of bright fabrics would reflect enough sunlight to cause a positive feedback loop that would result in an iceage.

[Celestial Mechanic]

I would create a wildy popular anime series aimed at children. The series would be populated by sickeningly cute creatures, which would of course be massively merchandized. The toys would be poorly made so they would quickly wear out. Eventually the trillions of worn out plush toys would clog rivers, and the toy animals constructed of bright fabrics would reflect enough sunlight to cause a positive feedback loop that would result in an iceage.
And don't forget the lead paint! :D

[folkhemmet]

Has anyone here read or heard of "The killing Star" by Charles Pellegrino and George Zebrowski? In this novel, aliens use what the authors refer to as relativistic bombs try to snuff out humanity. Relativistic bombs are basically the ultimate kinetic energy weapon. According to the authors, it should be possible to use the energy released by matter annihilation to accelerate a spaceship to 92% light speed. Even an object the size of the space shuttle, due to relativistic effects ( KE= mc^2 - moc^2 vs KE= .5mv^2), would release a huge amount of energy upon impact--enough energy boil off the top few meters of Earth's oceans. Let's hope this doesn't happen.

[KaiYeves]

Make them listen to my singing.

[Whirlpool]

If I am an evil alien warlord...

I will destroy all the good and make them all evil like me.

:neutral:

[TheOncomingStorm]

Who said I am not an evil alien overlord.

[Neverfly]

Who said I am not an evil alien overlord.

Evil Alien Overlords know how to spell.

[TheOncomingStorm]

Evil Alien Overlords know how to spell.
touche

[Neverfly]

touche

I had to get one in sometime:p