View Full Version : Snappy Answers
2006-Aug-14, 05:36 AM
If you’re old enough, you may remember, in Mad Magazine, Al Jaffe’s Snappy answers to stupid questions. I’d like to try it with a bit of a twist. Instead of stupid questions, let’s try common questions about science and technology.
Post a question and a snappy answer. Alternatively, try to one-up someone else’s answer(s) to his own question.
Some examples to kick it off:
Q: What’s the difference between astronomy and astrology?
A: One is a path that can lead to fame and fortune while the other leads only to fame.
A: There are degrees of separation.
A: You can get a B.S in one while the other is B.S.
Q: Will Jupiter ever become a star?
A: He’s got no talent. But who can tell? You kids and your music…
A: Is there a couch big enough for the “audition”?
A: He had a promising start but now he seems to be just going in circles.
Q: Why don’t I fall off the Earth since it’s spinning?
A: Chuck Norris…’nuff said.
2006-Aug-14, 11:46 PM
I remember snappy answers to stupid questions ...
How come I remember it?
2006-Aug-15, 12:05 AM
Is that a string tied around your finger? Or just an experiment with gangrene?
2006-Aug-16, 11:07 PM
Obviously I am isolating my blood.
Do cats know they have nine lives?
2006-Aug-18, 04:42 PM
How would I know? I've never been a cat.
What's the largest meteor that could hit the earth?
2006-Aug-18, 09:01 PM
On land, elephants are the meatiest, but overall, whales are even meteor.
Should Pluto be a planet?
2006-Aug-18, 09:57 PM
What, being a pet for the world's most famous mouse isn't enough?
Can "Preparation A" save us from asteroids?
2006-Aug-21, 11:06 PM
That's for teenagers, not rock-stars.
Can a space elevator be built all the way to the moon?
2006-Aug-22, 03:48 AM
Bend over and I'll take some measurements.
Why are STS missions always delayed?
2006-Aug-22, 12:40 PM
Because STS actually stands for "Shuttles Travel Sporadically"
Why is Earth round?
2006-Aug-27, 07:51 PM
Who said it was Wrounde? That's a rock group: http://launch.yahoo.com/track/22455672
Don't you know your music?
2006-Sep-12, 08:23 PM
No, but my impresario always has these lyrics print-outs so it's a non-issue.
Is that a telescope in your back yard?
2006-Sep-12, 09:01 PM
No, I'm just happy to see you.
Is that Mercury up in the sky?
2006-Sep-12, 09:56 PM
Yeah, probably as high as Don Camillo's opinion of Peppone.
Can I see M31 from my kitchen window?
2006-Sep-14, 07:08 AM
And Rome? Da! (Andromeda)
Can you see Uranus with a mirror?
2006-Sep-14, 07:52 AM
I can see yours if you can see mine.
Is that a shuttle docked to your bike?
2006-Sep-14, 03:27 PM
My favorite from the book was the "Are you a magician?" bit. To long for here though.
My favorite short one:
Guy walking thru the edge of the surf, coming up the beach. Lady asks "Went for a morning swim heh?"
His snappy answer:
"No, I just strolled over from Europe."
2006-Sep-15, 12:55 PM
A neighbor visting our house and seeing all my books asked why I had so many books that said Einstein?
I study the history of relativity, I responded.
He then asked: Well.. how far back does your family tree go?
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