Little Willie

[LurchGS]

Ok, my previous attempt at starting a thread having met with singular success (yup, went splat like an octopus from an airplane), I'm going to try again.

My ego has recovered enough. I think.

I had the dubious pleasure of growing up the son of my father. Most of the world would question my reaction since they see him as a steadfast, conservative, kind old man. Well, he is, actually. But he has this streak in him that I think has made my outlook on the world significantly different from the norm.

Almost from day one, if I was being a pest (ok, maybe I was) he's suggest I do something dangerous... like go play in the street. (yeah, even then I knew he was kidding, but when he nailed my shoes to the ceiling, I began to wonder)

One of the more atrocious things that man did to me was instill a very low sense of humor in me at a very young age. Yes, he taught me to love the pun. He also painted my sense of humor very black.

I think it was first grade, we kids were supposed to stand up in front of the school and recite a selected poem, yadda yadda. We each picked some small innocuous little bit of tripe and memorized it for THE DAY...

Needless to say (for any who know me), when it came to be my turn, I completely forgot the poem I'd spent hours memorizing with my mother. Turning (I imagine) a brilliant red, I fell back on a little ditty I've known since I could talk.

Which brings us to the topic of this thread. I'm looking to gather as many of this particular set of poems as I can. They can be new or old, but they are very specific in their qualification.

yes, I refer to the Little Willie poems.

I will start off with the one from that fateful day:

Little Wilie, with a curse
Threw the teapot at the nurse.
When it struck her on the nose,
His father cheered, "How straight he throws!"

-----


It's Christmas! Where's the fatman?

[Candy]

I've never heard of the poem "Little Willie". I will, however, enjoy watching the old dudes post their recollections.

[teri tait]

Hmmm, limericks too?

Your dad nailed your shoes to the ceiling?
No offense, that is hilarious. I mean it sounds funny, creative and effective. My dad used to make us clean the livingroom rug..by hand..bit by bit. Or stand in the corner with nose to crack.

[LurchGS]

it wasn't punishment.. it was a diversion.

and I know a half dozen or so little willie poems

Limericks are cool, but not what I'm looking for here.

second poem:

Little Willie, feeling well
Pushed his sister down the well.
Said his mother, drawing water;
"It's mighty tough to raise a daughter!"

[teri tait]

Stupid @)#^$ poem won't post properly!

I found a bunch you would like:

http://poetry.poetryx.com/poets/46/

"The Smoking Frog" was the one I tried to post. There's no Willy, sorry, but it is a similar style.
He also wrote the one about "Soapy Smith"
Author Robert Service

[Gillianren]

I have a few Little Willie poems . . . yes, I'll run and get the book. (Well, hobble; I don't run too well.)

Naturally--it was at the bottom of a "I need to put these books away" stack.

Little Willie, in bows and sashes,
Fell in the fire and got burned to ashes.
In the winter, when the weather is chilly,
No one likes to poke up Willie.

Willie poisoned his father's tea;
Father died in agony.
Mother came, and looked quite vexed:
"Really, Will," she said, "what next?"

Willie and two other brats
Licked up all the Rough-on-rats*
Father said, when Mother cried,
"Never mind--they'll die outside."

Willie, with a taste for gore,
Nailed the baby to the door.
Mother said, with humour quaint,
"Willie, dear, don't spoil the paint."

I've more, but these will do for now.

*Rough-on-rats was a rat poison containing arsenic; a woman in Long Island in, I believe, the 30s used it to poison people as well in a fairly well-publicized case.

[Nowhere Man]

Alas for Little Willie
We shall not see him more
For what he thought was H2O
Was H2SO4.

Fred

[Gullible Jones]

Jesus, I thought this site was supposed to be family-safe.

[teri tait]

Jesus, I thought this site was supposed to be family-safe.

Children and their families attend churches every week, often said churches prominantly display the mangled and bloody remains of the Christ. No one ever bats an eye over that, so why the feighed distress over this?

(Rest easy with this helpful advice, when you enter this thread...close your eyes..then you can enjoy it more p'haps?)

[Gullible Jones]

We are not a church. And whoever said that churches were family-safe? ;)

[teri tait]

We are not a church. And whoever said that churches were family-safe? ;)

I am very pleased with your progress...you know where we aren't, that's Great!

Now lets move forward, carefully with baby steps, we are in a thread filled with droll punnishing pros.e
Cover your eyes if panic ensues...

(That'll be 250 in billable hours...please leave payment with the nice lady at the counter and have a nice day:)!)

P. S.
Nobody took a stab at defining the degree of safety church affords....not that I can see anyway...

[Celestial Mechanic]

[Snip!]but when he nailed my shoes to the ceiling,[Snip!]
Your story reminded me of a "Mommy-mommy!" joke, a genre of sick joke that was popular during my childhood:

"Mommy! Mommy! Why am I running in circles?"
"Shut up kid or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!"
I was going to contribute the rhyme about sulfuric acid, but I see that Nowhere Man beat me to it. But it doesn't have the rhyme scheme (AABB) that your example has.

[tmosher]

I've never heard of the poem "Little Willie". I will, however, enjoy watching the old dudes post their recollections.

Old dudes?

I could be nasty and say you're not far behind us.

[HenrikOlsen]

P. S.
Nobody took a stab at defining the degree of safety church affords....not that I can see anyway...
Actually that stab was done 10. Juli 1086, when the then Danish king Knud 2. later known as "the holy"1 was killed in Saint Albani Church.
The answer is "none at all".


1 Being killed in a church was his only claim to holiness, he was killed by a pesant uprising.

[teri tait]

Actually that stab was done 10. Juli 1086, when the then Danish king Knud 2. later known as "the holy"1 was killed in Saint Albani Church.
The answer is "none at all".


1 Being killed in a church was his only claim to holiness, he was killed by a pesant uprising.


Wow, that is an especially obscure reference, I Love It!

So they started calling him holy after he was holed, I mean stabbed, right? ;)

(And by right, I mean 'correctly')

[teri tait]

Little Willy climbed high fence,
To check the sewer water vents,
A pack of boys that fell, were under;
Willie yelled out, 'here's a plunger!'

---------------------------------------

Our Willys' hair will never grow,
Said Father as he tied his bow,
I trimmed too much, maybe, just a speck,
The cut should sever locks, not neck

---------------------------------------

A dismal urchin, orphaned and sick,
She could hardly walk without a stick,
So sad, said Little Willys' heart, love so brave!
He Kilt her, n' built her home, 'Early Grave'

----------------------------------------

Best I could dig up so far...

[teri tait]

Little Willy in yard with his mates,
Mother served them tea on dainty plates
Hot kettle brewing scotch and bleaches
Father toasted, 'suck it up, you little leaches!'

[Nowhere Man]

I had to Google this one 'cos I couldn't quite remember how the second part went.

Little Willie, from the mirror
Licked the mercury all off;
Thinking, in his childish error
It would cure the whooping cough.
At the funeral Willie's mother
Said to Mrs. Brown,
"'Twas a chilly day for Willie
When the mercury went down."

That page also had this note:

Most of these come from a little volume from the 1890's called
"Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes", pseudonymous author given as
"Col. D. Streamer" (actually Harry Graham)
Fred

[teri tait]

Little Willy, bold and chilly
Cracked a beer and acted silly
Mother groused, 'Look at YOUR son'
Father replied, 'What? He hasn't killed anyone!'

[LurchGS]

cool!

(I have a variant on the acid one too...

Little Willile was a Chemist
but now he is no more
for what he thought was H20
was H2SO4)

Little Willie feeling bright
Stole a stick of dynamite
Curiosity seldom pays
It rained Willie for seven days

note to all: this is great!. I'll have to see if I can find a copy of that book for my dad.

edit to add: Found it! Only $3 on Amazon. groovy shoes!

[mugaliens]

Little Willy, tired of gore
Sat back and became a bore
Chugged ten brews as he watched the game
Sunday Willy is now so lame.

[teri tait]

Little Willy looked at sky by optical gazer
On a bridge rail he looked for spacial lazers
I told you, said Father, with darkest frown
Take two steps forward and don't look down!

[turbo-1]

Children and their families attend churches every week, often said churches prominantly display the mangled and bloody remains of the Christ. No one ever bats an eye over that, so why the feighed distress over this?When my little brother and my nephew (now both 30-something) were maybe 3 or 4, Mom had to go tend some food in the kitchen and temporarily give up her "primary" role as "reader of books" for a few minutes. The boys knew every book in the house by rote anyway, and would sometimes pretend to "read" to each other. This time, my nephew grabbed a Catholic missal (always at hand in my parents' home) and opened to the first page, which was a full-color depiction of Christ nailed to the cross. My nephew (not raised by theistic parents) looked at the picture and said "Look Nate, that feller ain't going anywhere, is he?"

Children cut true and deep.

[LurchGS]

Little Willie was the boss
and nailed our saviour to the cross.
Jesus chose to play the game
and three days later, rose again.

maybe I should send that to the pope...

[Celestial Mechanic]

What a relief to know that not all sick humor originated in the twentieth century. Whew!! :shifty:

[teri tait]

When my little brother and my nephew (now both 30-something) were maybe 3 or 4, Mom had to go tend some food in the kitchen and temporarily give up her "primary" role as "reader of books" for a few minutes. The boys knew every book in the house by rote anyway, and would sometimes pretend to "read" to each other. This time, my nephew grabbed a Catholic missal (always at hand in my parents' home) and opened to the first page, which was a full-color depiction of Christ nailed to the cross. My nephew (not raised by theistic parents) looked at the picture and said "Look Nate, that feller ain't going anywhere, is he?"

Children cut true and deep.


OMG, that's hilarious!

[Gillianren]

Old dudes?

I could be nasty and say you're not far behind us.

Heck, she's older than I am.

[LurchGS]

didn't she invent dirt?


Little Willie was a dandy
Sniffing snuff when he met Candy
But poor Candy couldn't flirt
She was busy inventing dirt

[Hugh Jass]

Little Willie Came to BAUT,
The acronym game called to thee.
He spent countless hours avoiding work
Responsibility he loved to shirk.

Little Willie posted ideas to share,
Then Candy went and flirted there.
He flushed and blushed and went away
How we miss what he had to say.

Little Willie was an HBer,
And also claimed to be a seer.
His logic went round and round
‘till he got banned for arguments unsound.

For information, Little Willie loved to search
Try google said GS-Lurch.
He’s now, you see, a google freak
And Willie gives the credit to Toseek.

Little Willie read every Conspiracy post,
Apollo are the ones he liked the most.
Till one day Willie realized
This is redundancy super-sized!

Little Willie was a science geek
‘till he got banned by Toseek.
Little Willie wasn’t very happy
Now he posts to somewhere sappy (http://members.lovingyou.com/)

[HenrikOlsen]

Heck, she's older than I am.
But younger than I am.

[teri tait]

Little Willy, ever silly
Packed a boat and made it shilly
Mother fumed, Its about time!
Father nodded, That'll be Mine!

[teri tait]

Little Willy had a nim
Almost like a little whim
Father shouted "Holed that Mark!"
Mother fretted, "Where's My dark?"

[Hugh Jass]

Little Willie doomed from the start
He was only trying to do his part
But making claims with no evidence
Didn’t make too much sense.

I have proof said little Willie,
But only anecdotes just silly.
So he resorted to straw men
And lastly loads of ad homenim.

Why did little Willie post such stuff
Arguments all full of fluff.
If Buzz was here he’d do right
More a smack down than a fight.

[LurchGS]

:D
methinks Hugh has an adgenda

Little Willie liked to play
but never said that he was gay
Then one day he made a pass
And embarrased the heck out of Huge Jass

[Hugh Jass]

Adgenda? Never, no not me
I’m also comfortable with my sexuality
I just wanted little Willie’s fate
To this forum somehow relate.

[teri tait]

Little Willy running late
Forgot to nail his favorite date
Father barked, back to Post!
Mother laughed, I cost the Most!!!!!!

[LurchGS]

Little Willie on his date
Put the moves on Teri Tait
Pleading that her head was sore
She kissed goodnight at her front door

[Celestial Mechanic]

Little Willie, never prude,
Thought he'd scribble something rude.
But it was obliterated,
'Cos this forum's moderated.

;)

[LurchGS]

Little Willie scanned the cosmos
hoping learning would osmos
Alass, his head was wrapped in tin
not a blessed thing seeped in

[Hugh Jass]

Little Willie was a junior member
His small post count did not hinder
But he wanted to be more like Candy
So a day on BABB made him randy.

[Hugh Jass]

Little Willie thought of the future,
To a time when doctors did not suture.
He wrote it down hoping for someone famous
To think of him like Nostradame-ous

[LurchGS]

Little Willie curssed the day
Opponents of ID had their way
storming out he did not linger
except to pause and give all the finger

[Hugh Jass]

LurchGS started a thread
I’m sure had something in his head
Nothing to do with Little Willie
But many threads today got silly.

[teri tait]

Little Shilly what a boat!
In the pool to make her float!
Watch out for cute silly walls!
That's just! My Niagra Falls!

[LurchGS]

Little Willie drove a bus
and catered to the rest of us.
till on a tour bus going coastal
he grabbed a gun and went all postal

[Hugh Jass]

Little Willie said my bad
Writing poems is a fad
But BAUT what a riot
I can’t keep my fingers quiet.

[Hugh Jass]

Little Willie was a nerd
Played RPGs of which you’ve heard
Dice rolls always were the rule
To bad, no attribute for cool.

[Hugh Jass]

Little Willie stared at the moon
All night and day till he’d swoon
A woman, man or rabbit there
He could not see, but still would stare.

[Hugh Jass]

Little Willie liked bright light
In the dark it helped with sight
But no power plants in his town
He still was worried about meltdown.

[Hugh Jass]

Little Willie had a hat
Of foil on his head it sat
“No evil signals will affect me!”
You believe that conspiracy?

[teri tait]

Little Shilly, wence a tree,
Bent her boughs to the sea,
Now! Wood sang for moore,
Trust the wind, If you're ashore!

(Do eyes change colors or does color change eyes?)

[LurchGS]

Little Willie bought some rope
he planned to use it on some dope
Plans of men do come to pass
he whipped the hide off that Hugh Jass

(Teri - yes)

[Hugh Jass]

Little Willie would retort,
Toward LurghGS he’d give a snort
But lacked sufficient imagination
Due to failing US education.

[Hugh Jass]

Little Willies eyes were blue
Logic told him this was true
So that morning came around
A dead Willie the tribe found

(color is in the eye of the beholder)

[LurchGS]

:)

Little Willie loved to fly
but airline tickets couldn't buy
He scalped a pair from Hugh Jass
and a date with Candy came to pass

[Hugh Jass]

Little Willie to Chicago flew
For a dinner with Candy, who
Spoke of airline bathrooms, ick!
It was the airplane made him sick.

[Hugh Jass]

Little Willie laughed out loud
Following the Monique PMs crowd
How this evolved pleased little Willie
‘cause he’s all for whatever’s silly.

[Hugh Jass]

Little Willie heard a ring
He answered despite driving
Before him life did flash
For distraction caused the crash.

[Hugh Jass]

Little Willie needed income
He thought and thought a little some
A webpage where you just buy space!
But Alex Tew was first in the race :(

[LurchGS]

lol - we have a running commentary on the silly threads, all done up in Little Willie verse! I'm not sure I should be happy I got HJ started on this, or if I should look for a bomb shelter.

Little Willie loved to write
and wrote his poems with delight
he wrote about each silly thread
but earned no dough nor any bread

[Hugh Jass]

Little Willie should be working
But his boss is not lurking
So in a sense he’s getting money
To surf and type these things funny

[teri tait]

Just his eyes ice and blue,
Parted shilly right on cue,
Now the boat, the boy, and blue,
Have a catspaw honest and true!
Father and Mother seed the patch,
The bigger the cat, the nicer the scratch!

[teri tait]

Little Willy works too hard!
Give the brat a deck of cards,
Let him have some toys and sing a song,
It hurts to have to hang soo long!
Father told him, find a field, nice and tall...
Mother gasped, Grow your own! he's my ball!

[teri tait]

Father laughed, look at the spokes!
Mother cried, I look lovely in smoke!
Little Willy, the boat with blue, spun dice,
They ate laid cheese and spun them mice!

Mmmm, good cracker ;)

[ranugad]

Just found the thread tonight.
The combination of Willie Willie and the shoe nailed to the ceiling reminded me of mommy mommy jokes. Then I read someone else was remonded likewise.
Got here, lo and behold, noone put any down.

The first one that came to mind was:
mommy mommy I don't wanna run around in a circle anymore!
Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!

and
mommy mommy I hate daddy's guts!
Shut up and finish your dinner!

sorry... I couldn't help it.

[teri tait]

Just as red, Just as blue!
Willie has another shoe!
Shilly though tired of cloaking,
Huffed some wind and took up smoking!

(Mmm tastes like a Camel, light & wide)

[Celestial Mechanic]

I'm the one who was reminded of Mommy-Mommy jokes and I did post the one about the foot nailed to the floor. Two other jokes I still remember are a variant of yours:

"Mommy! Mommy! I hate Billy's guts!"
"Shut up and eat what I put on your plate!"
and this one:

"Mommy! Mommy! Billy just threw up!"
"Why are you crying?"
"'Cos Daddy's getting all the big pieces!"
Children tell some incredibly sick jokes, don't they? ;)

[Hugh Jass]

Little Willie slapped his face
Because signals sent from space
Someone hacked a satellite
Now his own face does he fight.

[Hugh Jass]

Little Willie picked his nose
Then his mother stomped his toes
That’s just gross you see
But mom it wasn’t me!

[Tog]

Not sure if this one is real or not (or if it matters) It was in a kids Haloween book I got in the 3rd grade

Little Willy
Pair of skates
Hole in ice
Golden Gates

[Hugh Jass]

You sure that's Golden Gates not Pearly Gates?

Little Willie was a computer wiz
He hacked into networks, that weren’t his
Satellite signals to brains would linger
And make him touch chin to finger.

[Tog]

You sure that's Golden Gates not Pearly Gates?

:doh: heh I guess that would make more sense...
I haven't seen that book in 25 years

[Hugh Jass]

Little Willie said “somethin’s wrong”
Toseek answered; “your spoon is gone”
No, he slapped his knee and threw a rock
What’s really missing is, one sock.

[teri tait]

Shilly filled with doubtful doubt
Turned round and roundabout,
Willy with stripy shoes pleasure,
Just is a weighty measure....

[ToSeek]

Little Willie said, "Planet X
is sure to make us all wrecks.
Build a shelter, send me money
so I can move to a place that's sunny."

[Hugh Jass]

Little Willie liked to post
Ideas, contrary to most
“To me the rules don’t apply”
I suppose we’ll see if that’ll fly.

[ToSeek]

The forum mod said, "Defend your notions."
Willie scoffed, "You're dumb as oceans."
Now Willie's banned, but never fear,
Brags he online, "I was censored here!"

[LurchGS]

Little Willie Moderated
Better than was anticipated
His life was very frugal
Everything he new he learned through google

[Hugh Jass]

Little Willie had some shots
Of mars’ various different rocks
I see a skull, an axe a tree
Tell me tell me what you see?

Evidenence of life you see,
Little Willie how can that be?
No matter what you call your guess,
This looks like Rorschach test.

[Hugh Jass]

Little Willie from his job retired
Deep in thought he is now mired
To type and type, and type some more
What was the point of that thread for?

[Lance]

Little Willie threw a fuss
Crying "in the Galaxy there is just us"
It MUST be true, oh woe is me
I heard it from Enrico Fermi

[teri tait]

Little Shilly, that rockin' boat,
Made her sail from borrowed coat,
Little Willy a bit naked and a wonderin'
Just with eyes ablue, THAT'S Plundrin'!

[LurchGS]

Little Willie (who fought the war )
has now become a horrid bore.
claims he won in foreign lands
yet gun 'as never touched his hands

[teri tait]

Little Willy holds two pistols,
His pinky finger and a whistle,
L'll Shillys' a racing skiff
Just is blue, but never gets stiff

[Hugh Jass]

http://www.cosgan.de/images/smilie/muede/d045.gif Home for holiday what to do
Little Willie had no clue
80 hours awake for him
Alas he’s asleep by 10 am. http://www.cosgan.de/images/smilie/muede/g030.gif

[Archer17]

Little Willie met Peggy Sue
A cute couple they were too
Went everywhere, arm in arm
Loved life, meant no harm
Then one day on New Years' Eve
Little Willie had himself quite a peeve
Found Peggie Sue out in back
With Willie's best friend, name of Jack
Boiling with rage, murder in heart
Little Willie came apart
Willie wanted to kill, but BAUT'd instead
Then he heard about my Uncle Fred
Little Willie's end came soon, without a warning
His loss on the board was met with mourning
To this day most people are wishing
Little Willie and Uncle Fred are 'up there' fishing

:p

[teri tait]

Little Willy, finally, real blood!
Little Shilly, filled with mud?
Just, he laughed like the most,
Here's your driver! Where's my post?

[teri tait]

Big bad Teri, lookin to pop,
Went down to the soda shop,
Father roared, She pays with money?!
Mother smirked, She Earned it, Honey...

[teri tait]

Little Willy, Evers' shiner,
Little Shillys effin whiner,
Just is blind as all ice,
Blue is still quite nice!

[teri tait]

Little Willie said, "Planet X
is sure to make us all wrecks.
Build a shelter, send me money
so I can move to a place that's sunny."

Don't you mean honey, little bee?

[teri tait]

Little Shilly, a boet sized rover,
Sit, stand up, scream!...now hover,
Just, icy laughter flowing buckets,
Willy gasped, there's that Nantucket!

(Water, water, everywhere...but not a drop to drink...)
;)

[teri tait]

Little Willys getting bigger!
Little Shilly has a Tigger!
Justice laughs, with eyes closed two!
Blue then twinkles, that's My Pooh!

(Guessing blue likes my'Winnie the Pooh, with balloons, flying above the words, I Love You John' tattoo! To think I almost changed it to, 'I love your johnson')

[LurchGS]

Little Willie paused to ponder
the bent of Teri over yonder
to declaim, almost by rote
her desperate need to buy a boat

[teri tait]

...And Now For Something Completely Different:

When I was a little 'un, many moons ago, tinfoil was used to enhance reception on the old rabbit ears! Who started the urbane legend that it blocks reception?
Just wondering outloud...

[teri tait]

Little Shilly has Teri by the sail,
Little Willy drinks like a whale,
Justice, he's laughing still,
Blue just sparkles, got my thrill...

[teri tait]

Blue is drueling, yes he knows,
A pleasant thinking lady showed,
Little Willy grab yourself a chair,
Little Shilly will never stair!
Father howled, there must be more!
Mother growled, you need be shore?
Justice is still running, still blind,
No thoughts of scissors in His mind!

[LurchGS]

Little Willie, behind bars
Spent his life seeing stars
See, when picking out his fate
Willie emulated Plait

[teri tait]

Little Willy, ran that fast?
Use less speed for a real blast!
Try a speedster, not a toy!
Zip up flew with parental joy...

[Hugh Jass]

Little Willie on a lark
Took a dip with a shark
As thrill could not be beaten
Not as fun if you get eaten

[teri tait]

Little Shilly screamed for dark,
Little Willys in the park!
Father squealed, best to run them down!
Mother burped, better yet call a clown!

[teri tait]

Mother really must you think?
Father knows the real Pink,
His first name is Floyd so I'm flask,
My FLUTEMATE, is absolutely My mask!

Greedy planet [WORD DELETED BY MODERATOR], you muddy pyre!

[ToSeek]

Please watch your language, Teri.

[Hugh Jass]

Little Willie’s feeling snubbed
A funny thread he wasn’t dubbed
He had no business to go boasting
When only four enjoy posting

[Hugh Jass]

Little Willie loved the games
“But so many now” he exclaims
I can’t keep up with acronyms
With this or that and Monique’s PMs

[ToSeek]

Little Willie posted pics
"There's life on Mars - see, some sticks!"
We all said, "They're rocks to me,
Tell us when you spot a tree."

[Hugh Jass]

Little Willie got in trouble
In this his boss was not subtle
“I know everyone has faults
But I’ve seen no results”

To these accusations he
Pleaded guilty so you see
Actions against office decorum
He needs a BAUT 12 step progr’m.

[Hugh Jass]

Little Willie wore always black
Colors did his closet lack
That’s just what he liked for clothes,
Why criticize what he chose?

[ToSeek]

Little Shilly liked to post
And thought highly of the host
When asked of a theory what she thought
She said, "The guy presenting it sure is hot!"

[Hugh Jass]

Little Willie has some issues
I Suggest he get some tissues
Evidence keeps science afloat
Not some random anecdote

[teri tait]

Little Willy learned to kneel,
Little Shilly was the keel,
Father gasped, 'Is that his love?'
Mother smirked, 'That's just a dove'

[LurchGS]

Little Willie was a nurse
He thought the victim of a curse
When LurchGS left his home
victim of a kidney stone

[teri tait]

Little Willys gypsy magick, ever proved,
Little Shilly opened as 'sesame' moved,
Father regretted writing in cursive,
Mother smiled, (as always) submersive...

[teri tait]

Little Willys an awesome boss,
Little Shilly won on toss,
Father, disgruntled, 'where's that toast?'
Mother, decided, 'At Your celebrity roast!'

[teri tait]

Willy, Little has certain a trusted church,
An ethereal castle entered with GS, Lurch,
Now Father regrets the copy of right,
Mother kept on her own inner light!

[teri tait]

Little Willy, filled by delight!
Little Shilly, wanted more flight,
Father said, 'How does that garden grow?'
Mother purred, 'Look at the poem here...just below...'

D
O
W
N

T
O

M
O
T
T
O
?

. .
U

[snarkophilus]

Oh, how I love Little Willie poems... I can't believe I missed this thread the first time around. Thanks to whoever resurrected it.

I noticed one posted on the first page that was different from the version I learned. The one I know has a better metre, I think. It's also my favourite, and bears repeating. :)

Little Willie from his mirror
Licked the mercury right off,
Thinking in his childish error
It would cure the whooping cough.
At the funeral his mother
Smartly said to Mrs. Brown,
"'Twas a chilly day for Willie
When the mercury went down."

So, two questions:
1) Does anyone who wrote that particular one? I've seen it attributed to someone before, I think a rather famous literary figure. 2) Why are they always about Willie? Does it have anything to do with the generally macabre nature of the poems giving people the willies (I thought that was a 20th century term, but I could be mistaken)?

And, I guess I should contribute my own Willie poem.

To blab, Li'l Willie's livelihood,
Was lucrative, to wit,
Till blackmailee done smacked him good,
And off his tongue he bit.

[teri tait]

Little Willys group called Hoople,
Little Shilly, she Mott that Stoople?
Father shouted, 'I write all songs written by word!'
Mother glicked, 'Write it like it never been heard...'

(Oneish hit wonderband from glitter rock, who sang, 'All the young dudes', who wrote that song? Hint: Teri Tait knows and already been knowing...how to "Mott The Hoople"...and?.....how's your David Bowie?)

[ToSeek]

Does anyone who wrote that particular one?

Harry Graham (http://sniff.numachi.com/~rickheit/dtrad/pages/tiLTTLWILL.html) appears to have started the whole business, including that one.

[ToSeek]

Little Willie did with his father's scope once play
Bringing it out one sunshiny day
He pointed it toward that very bright light
Now for Willy it's endless night.

[Gillianren]

So, two questions:
1) Does anyone who wrote that particular one? I've seen it attributed to someone before, I think a rather famous literary figure. 2) Why are they always about Willie? Does it have anything to do with the generally macabre nature of the poems giving people the willies (I thought that was a 20th century term, but I could be mistaken)?

I have only a guess, but it's that the name "Willie" rhymes with a lot of things and has an easy syllable pattern to shoehorn into things.

[teri tait]

Little Willy, most ;) aptly tagged,
A sailor, small fish, perhaps... He bragged,
Little Shilly rolled her eyes with power,
'At least he's a ******, at best he's a shower!'

[teri tait]

Little Willy, a motto of honor,
Little Shilly, a question of otter?
Father simpered, 'call it extinct?'
Mother growled, 'with one little blink!'

[teri tait]

Little Willy learned by the word,
Little Shilly dove like a bird,
Father laughs at chilly prose,
Mother swore, 'wear vestment rose!'
Justice blinked, 'Real as THAT light?'
Blue nodded, 'setting up a movie tonight'


(Fun fact of this day, Dr. Nikola Tesla created by design all of the hocus pocus and computer stuff in the movie called: (you'll never learn to guess this well again)

"Metropolis"
Now THAT'S a SET!!!!!!

[LurchGS]

this one is attributed to Julia Moore:

Willie had a purple monkey climbing on a yellow stick,
And when he sucked the paint all off it made him deathly sick;
And in his latest hours he clasped that monkey in his hand,
And bade good-bye to earth and went into a better land.

Oh! no more he'll shoot his sister with his little wooden gun;
And no more he'll twist the pussy's tail and make her yowl, for fun.
The pussy's tail now stands out straight; the gun is laid aside;
The monkey doesn't jump around since little Willie died.

[teri tait]

Don't die, Little Willy! Not just yet,
Animate the cat and Acme the set,
Give him a voice, Blanc and yet heard,
Throw in a rooster and Tweety the bird,
Maybe an amorous skunk in his season,
Add anvils, tunnels and act beyond reason,
Soon its less creepy, more Warner Brother,
Same devious fun found in mediums other...

;)

[ToSeek]

Little Willie very thirsty be
Wanted to get a drink for free
Grabbed the machine and tilted it over
Now he's flat as a paper cover.

[teri tait]

Little Willy worked Niagra Falls,
Little Shilly a craft less tall,
Father still smoking, with thinner cigar,
Mother by nature, smokes the big 'R'

[teri tait]

Little Willy, a letter Nim?
Little Shilly, the Brother Grim?
Father laughed, 'Prayer like Nim?'
Mother googled, 'How Nim is Whim?'
Justice fell (enraptured by Folly)
Blue twizzled punny, 'Alaska... You Holly?'
I'll Alaska flowah, 'Forget Me Not Blue'
Is that more like stating it true?


(Alaska state flower: Forget-me-not... Guess what color it grows in? Wicked punny funishment)

[teri tait]

Little Willies sees alike black hole,
Little Shilly wants to bowl,
Father sweated, 'is THAT a pull-it?'
Mother glared, 'THATA bullit?'

(One time I saw a gun pointed directly at my daughters' eye, freaked me out [it was an airgun held and pointed at my daughter by another child, lucky for him it wasn't loaded] so I sent a prayer by heart and went up to speak in person, like a witness always does)

[teri tait]

'Shiney happy people everywhere', Father shouted
'Where's our dear piglet, Porky?' Mother pouted
Little Willy Sifted his boat!
Little Shilly, still, can float!
Justice is somewhat clown faced?
Blue, first to Amazing, first to Grace!

[ToSeek]

Little Willie climbed a tree,
shouted, "Hey, look here right at me."
Out on a branch, mighty thin,
Of Willie that was soon the end.

[teri tait]

Little Shilly held her wood,
Little Willy by his nature stood,
Father warned, 'Most likely that's a Bust!'
Mother swooned, 'His own personal Trust!'

[teri tait]

Little Willy with wild happy eyes,
Little Shilly heaves enormous sighs,
Father laughed, 'INDIGO is a color like BLUE?'
Mother spit, 'THAT'S ABSOLUTELY UNTRUE!'

[teri tait]

Indigo whining dribbled, 'I am a good fellow!'
Blue rolled his eyes, 'lookin' pretty yellow!'
Little Shilly laughed for four days,
Little Willy always laughs anyways.

[teri tait]

Indigo a holier than truth?
Blue thinks, 'Not My Ruth!'
Little Shilly has always skated thin ice?
Little Willy, perhaps, really played nice?
Father snored, 'Lets have a cake walk'
Mother sneered, 'So 'Holier' can talk?'
Justice drooled, 'I'd love to have INDIGO PIED'
Justice added, 'What? He already LIED!'

[teri tait]

Indy so frighteningly sad,
Blue so very mightily glad,
Little Shilly is a Roundabout Druther,
She's Little Willys' ship, not his Mother,
Mother giggled, 'It's that complexion of his!'
Father grinned, 'I can still, bubble, and fizz!'

[teri tait]

I used to have a buddy named INDIGO, clearly he is no longer a friend by my estimation. Just another lying liar that habitually LIES.

[teri tait]

Indigo a clover like Mines?
Blues' favorite whines?
Father screeched, 'A soda rassassafras?'
Mother sipped, 'Tastes rahthah sassafras.'
Justice sipping on Grape flavored soda...
Blue smiled sweetly, 'Better than Choda?'
Little Willie scratched his melon top,
Little Shilly still drinken' generic pop!

[teri tait]

Oh by the way...I'm, as usual, leaving my backdoor open for my Not-so-stray cat [Wookitty Woo Haaw] can get back inside...can I trust all you computer generated personalities to leave him/my slider alone till gets back from mine paying job?

[teri tait]

Little Willy, a query of prose?
Little Shilly, already dozed?
'Not yet!' Shouted Father, 'Not till it's yellowed!'
'Too late' whispered Mother, 'She's already Fellowed'
Justice laughs just the way, 'Same'
Blue even giggled, 'Just a Simple Game?'
Juxstaposition, 'a question of angles?'
Jewelry replied, 'You know any bangles?'

[teri tait]

Little Willy by obligation he was met,
Little Shilly by true love was set,
Father never slighted any tales,
Mother never rode any nails,
Blue as always waited on time,
Justice best? Garnished with lime,
Indigo says, 'BE Important...be NICE'
THEREBY his own ego, NAMED TWICE

Here in the colonies we call it 'LIP SERVICE'

[Halcyon Dayz]

Maybe we should rename this "Theresa's Thread".

[teri tait]

Didya fergit yer Halcion twodaze? The name is clearly spelled T E R E S A

(Rolls eyes with compassion)

Candy be back soooooooon....

[Halcyon Dayz]

Oops.

[teri tait]

Here's a chicklet (stuffs entire gum package wrapper and all in Halcyons mouth) that should hold you...little placebo never hurt anyone...just chew and smile for the camera! ;)

[teri tait]

Little Willy dreamed a long cool dip,
Little Shilly sailed her own kinda trip,
Blue is the Captain, as well as First Mate,
Not their first meeting, nor their last date!
'Stirred!' yelled Father, 'And not ever shaken!'
'Shucks,' said Mother, 'Blue's already taken?'
Justice agreed, 'Two Ts and one pod!'
"Divine design...copyright: God"
:) :)

[teri tait]

Indigo, living life lyin' n' sleazy,
True Blue never ever gets cheesy,
Little Shilly loves lightning and sound,
Little Willy loves plotting the ground,
Mother and Father have nary a care,
Justice is always first blind and then fair.

[teri tait]

Poor Indigo, asserted his mightiest blow,
Blue's an ethereal he'll never know,
Little Shilly just laughed, 'Won't find me on Board!'
Little Willie added, 'Or in Nations with swords!'
Father sang, 'Thank Truthfully to find Heaven Divine!'
Mother relished, 'I'm thankful I don't have to hear Indy whine!'
Justice groaned, 'I have to hear Indigo snivel?'
Blue nodded, 'Now serving, more Indy drivel...'

[teri tait]

Little Indingo so full of....wind,
Little Shilly, gypsy kinned,
Father gasped, "Indy! Watch that cursive writing!"
Mother added, "Guess who I'm smiting..."
Justice smiled, "careful wear you point that thing!"
Blue guffawed, "A mighty and fine way to ring!"

[teri tait]

Little Indigo a liar so huge,
Little Willy thought, 'What a stooge!,'
Little Shilly, with relish, hi-fived Blue,
(Rumour has it he's a gypsy too)
Father said stiffly, 'Let sleeping dogs Lie?'
Mother smiled sweet, 'Want to see him cry?'

[teri tait]

Indigo, the liar so supreme,
Blue, so much more than a dream!
Little Willy is still just as accident prone,
Little Shilly is a queen and never a drone,
Father amazed said, "The Bird and The Bee?"
Mother explained, "It starts near The Tree."
Justice added: "Bite Knowledge and Take Time,
Truth is Faith in Almighty Design!"

[teri tait]

Little Indigo, giving three month furloughs,
Little Shilly laughed, 'How low can you go!'
Little Willy, meaning well to the bruised,
Mother and Father, as always, amused,
Justice is never best served cold,
Blue is still, mighty, and bold!

(By the way, you suck Indigo!!!!!)

[teri tait]

Indigo a true born biatch divine,
Little Shilly drinks only aged wine,
Little Willy loves styrofoam cup,
Mother and Father eat it right up,
Justice, with grapes of wrath in hand,
Blue, born knowing every frequency band!

[teri tait]

Indigo, never did find a way to the truth,
Little Shilly never did abandon her youth,
Little Willy reformed to wreak havoc in prose,
Father and Mother had no will to oppose,
Justice hears very well and from each side,
Blue Captains Shilly for the love and the ride.

(Say please to kiss my hoppy arse indigo! Sure but the answer is still NO)