The best thread game ever.... [Archive]

Eric Vaxxine

2011-Dec-17, 01:07 AM

Just type.

There's no topic, no reason, no continuity, no catagory, no boundaries....nothing.
Just what you write, the next person will read.

This thread might die in the next 60 minutes, or live for 12 years !!!

Eric Vaxxine

2011-Dec-17, 01:08 AM

Will somebody PLEASE stop that damn dog from barking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It is after midnight for goodness sake!!

Eric Vaxxine

2011-Dec-17, 01:16 AM

Are you really going out wearing THAT?

Eric Vaxxine

2011-Dec-17, 01:17 AM

Percy Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzpercy.
OK?

Eric Vaxxine

2011-Dec-17, 01:19 AM

Ketchup is a vegetable.

Middenrat

2011-Dec-17, 01:46 AM

The book on 60 minutes is closed.

Swift

2011-Dec-17, 01:50 AM

There's no topic, no reason, no continuity, no catagory, no boundaries....nothing.
Just what you write, the next person will read.
And how exactly is this different than most of the threads on BAUT? :p

Eric Vaxxine

2011-Dec-17, 02:58 AM

This one goes up to 11 !

TJMac

2011-Dec-17, 05:46 PM

Why is the first cup of coffee in the morning, the best one of the day? Caffeine withdrawal?

TJ.... who is staring at the bottom of his cup in dismay

Sarawak

2011-Dec-18, 03:48 PM

Ghastly

Mellow

2011-Dec-19, 10:44 AM

Do I work my socks off and head into Christmas on a high, or cheekily do less work and relax into the holidays?

Frog march

2011-Dec-19, 11:27 AM

A:Is this the thread where you show off what you are reading?

B:I've told you once!

A:I'm sorry???

Eric Vaxxine

2011-Dec-21, 07:34 PM

Time flies like an arrow......
Fruit flies like a banana.

(I got it off B. Bryson....not sure if he made it up or borrowed it from another)

Eric Vaxxine

2011-Dec-21, 07:43 PM

This I heard over the radio at Heathrow Airport.
It's between a pilot and ground control.

Pilot: Control control, this is Speedbird 251. The equipment has
failed on stand 121, but I'll park immediatly if you call me a marshal!

Ground Control: OK, you're a marshal.

Frog march

2011-Dec-22, 07:05 AM

Male announcer: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone.
Female announcer: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone.
Male announcer: [later] The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the white zone.
Female announcer: No, the white zone is for loading of passengers and there is no stopping in a RED zone.
Male announcer: The red zone has always been for loading and unloading of passengers. There's never stopping in a white zone.
Female announcer: Don't you tell me which zone is for loading, and which zone is for stopping!
Male announcer: Listen Betty, don't start up with your white zone [word banned by BAUT removed] again.
[Later]
Male announcer: There's just no stopping in a white zone.
Female announcer: Oh really, Vernon? Why pretend, we both know perfectly well what this is about. You want me to have an abortion.
Male announcer: It's really the only sensible thing to do, if its done safely. Therapeutically there's no danger involved.

Eric Vaxxine

2011-Dec-22, 09:19 PM

The most important component in a racing car is
the nut that holds the steering wheel.

Sarawak

2011-Dec-23, 08:04 PM

What manner of Harif?

Eric Vaxxine

2011-Dec-28, 12:10 AM

All those in favour of growing your own vegetables, say 'aye'.

Sarawak

2011-Dec-28, 07:54 AM

O, she misused me past the endurance of a block! an oak but with one green leaf on it would have answered her; my very visor began to assume life and scold with her. She told me, not thinking I had been myself, that I was the prince's jester, that I was duller than a great thaw; huddling jest upon jest with such impossible conveyance upon me that I stood like a man at a mark, with a whole army shooting at me. She speaks poniards, and every word stabs: if her breath were as terrible as her terminations, there were no living near her; she would infect to the north star. I would not marry her, though she were endowed with all that Adam bad left him before he transgressed: she would have made Hercules have turned spit, yea, and have cleft his club to make the fire too. Come, talk not of her: you shall find her the infernal Ate in good apparel. I would to God some scholar would conjure her; for certainly, while she is here, a man may live as quiet in hell as in a sanctuary; and people sin upon purpose, because they would go thither; so, indeed, all disquiet, horror and perturbation follows her.

Frog march

2011-Dec-28, 08:58 AM

is that a door knocker I see before me?

Sarawak

2011-Dec-28, 08:59 AM

Door knocking is a rather unusual fetish, isn't it?

LookingSkyward

2012-Jan-06, 01:35 PM

Thread! Scourge of Pern!

Strange

2012-Jan-06, 03:37 PM

All those in favour of growing your own vegetables, say 'aye'.

All those in favour of growing their own lemur, say 'aye aye'.

LookingSkyward

2012-Jan-06, 04:11 PM

Nice, Strange!

Eric Vaxxine

2012-Jan-07, 11:10 PM

Have you ever seen Polish Scrabble?

I think it has about 32 extra letter 'z's.

peteshimmon

2012-Jan-07, 11:43 PM

Hey...its 2012! You can see on the date info!
When did that happen? Awww....
And 28 years since War Games with the two
great lines, dont run someone may get hurt,
is this because of what you did to my grades?

Eric Vaxxine

2012-Jan-07, 11:59 PM

I am making a film that explores what happens when New York
citizens spend 5 days without any electricity.

I'd appreciate some choice quotes to include.

peteshimmon

2012-Jan-08, 10:39 PM

Well we must say in judging this contest
that each contestant was equally great and
we have never seen such quality, it is and
has been an arduous process is trying to
choose one to be a winner, in fact in the
whole history of contests this has been
unique in its difficulty. You the audience
have been so exceptional in cheering every
act that you gave no help at all in our
efforts to select one above all others,
you have made our lives a misery in fact,
we need to have an occasional boo or slow
handclap but today, zilch! But we will
persevere in our endeavours to say which of
these brilliant and highly individual acts
shows just above the others, I remember many
years ago in the Australian bush there were
a dozen sheep shearers who were so great I
could not tell them apart, but after weighing
each bale of wool, one had a few grams extra
and I managed to select the winner but here
today that is not a solution. The fantastic
input from all of the people performing here
tonight makes any selection almost pointless.
I remember...

Eric Vaxxine

2012-Jan-08, 10:59 PM

LookingSkyward

2012-Jan-09, 12:08 PM

Wow, Pete. Just...wow.

Mellow

2012-Jan-09, 12:40 PM

does anyone else here only seem able to produce children that hate being in the car and scream accordingly... all the time!

Sarawak

2012-Jan-09, 06:13 PM

That's what happens when you keep the windows up and it's 45C in the car park.

peteshimmon

2012-Jan-13, 01:21 PM

Now the last story this lunchtime is about
luncheon vouchers. If you pay for your meal
this lunchtime with these coupons you may have
to pay a premium. Because each lunchtime, counter
staff are too busy to process them. Therefore
each and every meal this lunchtime and other
lunchtimes will be a bit more expensive.

That is the end of the news this lunchtime.
The next lunchtime news will be tomorrow
lunchtime.

Sarawak

2012-Jan-14, 02:27 PM

I don't have my lunch in the middle of the night.

peteshimmon

2012-Jan-14, 03:08 PM

You certainly have your lunch during
someones nightime!

Gosh I'm sharp today. Shot him down in
flames...weeeee...splat!

:)

Sarawak

2012-Jan-14, 04:32 PM

Still here - I have evaded your fire!

LookingSkyward

2012-May-31, 01:48 PM

goldfish - that eternal question

Zentisan

2012-May-31, 06:18 PM

qwertyuiop
asdfghjkl
zxcvbnm

Funny keyboard. And it can't even water the plants. OK, I have no plants. So, what about the pots?? Oh, I have no pots. OK, at least the floor? Water the floor?! Wait, OK. Just... funny keyboard.

Eric Vaxxine

2012-May-31, 09:47 PM

A man gallops into town on his horse and bellows:
" I am THOR "

A voice in the crowd replies:
" Of courth you are thor, thilly, you forgot your thaddle ".

Sarawak

2012-Jun-01, 03:44 PM

qwertyuiop
asdfghjkl
zxcvbnm

qwertzuiop
asdfghjkl
yxcvbnm

Zentisan

2012-Jun-01, 05:34 PM

Yesterday is gone. Today is going. Tomorrow will go. Wonder where it all goes.

Sarawak

2012-Jun-01, 05:40 PM

Recycled.

profloater

2012-Jun-01, 06:02 PM

This is the last day of the first part of my life again. Yesterday I had a plan but it involved doing something tomorrow. No more of that. Tomorrow I aim and plan to forget all previous plans and if all goes well today I will revise yesterday's plan. The thing with plans is that I do not know what everyone else is planning so it is very difficult to gather enough information to get ahead. It is almost as if planning causes a reaction to defeat the plan. Was that Le Chatilier's principle? Or was he only interested in solutions? Please don't bother to read all the way to here. However here's a tip. Live for today, they may never catch you.

Veiligo

2012-Jun-03, 12:33 AM

Scintillate, scintillate, global vivific
Fain would I fathom thy nature specific
Loftily poised in the ether capacious
Strongly resembling a gem carbonacious...

(I didn't write this, it came from my journalist grandfather...)

Sarawak

2012-Jun-03, 06:47 AM

There once was a man from Nantucket

Zentisan

2012-Jun-03, 06:58 AM

Sarawak

2012-Jun-03, 07:02 AM

But if we could eat them, they wouldn't be forever.

nosbig5

2012-Jun-11, 06:32 PM

If I could eat coal and dispense diamonds, I would have to stifle a giggle every time I saw my wife's wedding ring.

Zentisan

2012-Jun-15, 06:41 AM

If I could eat coal and dispense diamonds, I would have to stifle a giggle every time I saw my wife's wedding ring.
Eww! You'd have piles and piles

They say that we should leave something better than what they were when we came across them.

This is perplexing. It's similar to saying that the world would be better off when I'm gone.

potoole

2012-Jun-15, 07:48 AM

And this stupid thread has gone on with nearly 50 replies.
Ask a question that deals with space, astronomy or science??

Zentisan

2012-Jun-15, 08:37 AM

er...umm... what is that space between astronomy and science called?

LookingSkyward

2012-Jun-15, 09:24 AM

Pizza!

Frog march

2012-Jun-15, 09:27 AM

If Brian May is so good at astrophysics, why didn't he advise Freddie that the lyrics "I'm travelling at the speed of light", is probably not possible and not consistent with mainstream physics?

grapes

2012-Jun-15, 10:16 AM

He knew Freddie was a moonbeam

cosmocrazy

2012-Jun-15, 02:04 PM

I'm one day further from where I started and one day closer to where I'll finish but I still don't know where I'm going.

LookingSkyward

2012-Jun-20, 09:55 AM

Upsidedown is the easiest way for me to imagine a bat

Zentisan

2012-Jun-20, 05:03 PM

Downsideup is the easier way to imagine an umbrella.

LookingSkyward

2012-Jun-21, 09:12 AM

My goldfish swim in my umbrella, but they may be zombies

Mellow

2012-Jun-21, 12:44 PM

Here comes the hotstepper

Eric Vaxxine

2012-Jun-25, 01:44 AM

Yesterday is gone. Today is going. Tomorrow will go. Wonder where it all goes.

It goes into your memory bank. You can withdraw it all later on.

Sam Bell

2012-Jun-25, 02:36 AM

Astronauts look hilarious when they skip along the moon.

LookingSkyward

2012-Jun-25, 11:31 AM

Who mooned the astornauts?

Sam Bell

2012-Jun-25, 12:00 PM

Why is a backwards shuffling dance called "The Moonwalk"? That's not how you walk on the moon.

Frog march

2012-Jun-25, 01:05 PM

Why is a backwards shuffling dance called "The Moonwalk"? That's not how you walk on the moon.

because that is how you back out of a room that you discover is occupied by a moon hoax believer.

LookingSkyward

2012-Jun-25, 01:08 PM

ROFL!

Sam Bell

2012-Jun-25, 10:31 PM

because that is how you back out of a room that you discover is occupied by a moon hoax believer.

That makes sense.... a quick exit that allows you to keep an eye on the likely attacker while keeping your feet firmly planted to the ground for a powerful counter. :clap:

FarmMarsNow

2012-Jun-26, 01:36 AM

I'm yawning.

Sam Bell

2012-Jun-26, 03:00 AM

I'm snoring. :D

Eric Vaxxine

2012-Jul-01, 10:00 PM

Doing DIY in zero gravity would be so much more pleasant.

LookingSkyward

2012-Jul-02, 02:19 PM

Zero grav gets tricky... I just want a dial to turn the local gravity down

Eric Vaxxine

2012-Jul-06, 10:41 PM

I have a problem embracing that the universe was originally a
moment the size of a grain of sand when it 'BigBanged'.

I am more drawn to the idea that our universe was
blown into existance through a straw poking into a void.

They don't call me crazy for nothing....I have to pay them!!

LookingSkyward

2012-Jul-09, 09:47 AM

I was there - the ride through the straw was awesome!

Eric Vaxxine

2012-Jul-19, 10:54 PM

Ha haaaa.....

peureux

2012-Aug-07, 11:18 PM

look at him dance

LookingSkyward

2012-Aug-09, 10:07 AM

Disco like Curiosity with the dance mix loaded!

Eric Vaxxine

2012-Aug-18, 10:30 PM

Sex and Drugs and.....Country music?

LookingSkyward

2012-Aug-22, 12:40 PM

Hex, bugx and code testing!

Eric Vaxxine

2012-Sep-06, 01:16 AM

The Americans went to Mars, the Russians went to Phobos!!

Noclevername

2012-Sep-06, 01:28 AM

The Serenity Falcon picked up Simon Skywalker, Book Kenobi, and R.2 DTam on a desert planet Dune and was flown away by Chewash, while Captain Tightpants shot Greedo the Badger. They were then all arrested by Captain Kirk of the Galactica.

Eric Vaxxine

2012-Sep-06, 01:57 AM

This really scared the earthlings though...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=43P3cBPFx4U

Zentisan

2012-Oct-03, 06:58 AM

The logarithmic curve intrigues me. Why does it look so similar in shape to the garden variety caterpillar? I have been losing quite a lot of sleep over it.

Eric Vaxxine

2012-Oct-05, 01:08 AM

Applications to re-name Iceland, once all their ice has melted,
are well underway.

Eric Vaxxine

2012-Oct-18, 12:45 AM

You US folk have certainly taken us by surprise.
Ronald, George and Bill, as first names, we Europeans get.

But Barak and Mitt...? Streuth !!!

Is Mitt his real name or just short for Michelin, Mitchel or Mittigate?

FarmMarsNow

2012-Oct-19, 03:45 PM

The logarithmic curve intrigues me. Why does it look so similar in shape to the garden variety caterpillar? I have been losing quite a lot of sleep over it. Did you know that insomnia has a logarithmic progression?